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Were my parents trying to kill me?

Were my parents trying to kill me?

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I

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My parents had always been loving and kind, but I've recently been concerned that they were trying to kill me all along. Method? Death by incineration.

Here is my case. As a child, I would always get in trouble for leaving my heater-blanket on, and my folks would get so upset about it.

"What's the big deal?" I would ask. I understood the waste of electricity, but they never responded this way to a light or TV left on.

"Son," my dad would say in as low of a voice as he could without sounding ridiculous, "you could burn down the house."

"Huh?"

"Yes! If that blanket catches fire it's just a matter of minutes before the whole house burns to the ground and we all die." Then he would storm out.

It wasn't until recently that I truly thought it out. Apparently, these intended comfort devices are capable of spontaneously erupting into a death ball of flame and electricity, rapidly turning-to-ash anything within the reach of its hungry claws of destruction.

Yet my parents have no problem with their only son wrapping himself in it and going to sleep.

Are my parents sadistically murderers, or am I blowing this out of proportion? Please let be know before Thanksgiving so I know whether to eat the food.

r

Over seas

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Originally posted by IronPawnX
My parents had always been loving and kind, but I've recently been concerned that they were trying to kill me all along. Method? Death by incineration.

Here is my case. As a child, I would always get in trouble for leaving my heater-blanket on, and my folks would get so upset about it.

"What's the big deal?" I would ask. I understood the w ...[text shortened]... out of proportion? Please let be know before Thanksgiving so I know whether to eat the food.
Just in case feed some to a cat first. 😉

A
Dog Companion

Rain Forest

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Take heart, if they were/are trying to kill you, they are not very effective or efficient as you have made it thus far and are contemplating returning for Thanksgiving, 😀

e

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Eat before you go to Thanksgiving dinner.

p

Graceland.

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Originally posted by IronPawnX

Are my parents sadistically murderers, or am I blowing this out of proportion? Please let be know before Thanksgiving so I know whether to eat the food.


It's only a danger if you leave it on whils't sleeping. The blanket starts to smoke before it catches fire, odds are you will suffocate or suffer from smoke inhilation before you were to 'burn' to death. If you were asleep while this happened, indeed you could die, if however you were awake, you would quickly realise something was wrong.

Thus your parents acted in your best interest. Happened to my brother before, but yes, he was awake at the time. The smoke is something terrible, if you can imagine plastic burning, was difficult just reaching the wallsocket to switch the blanket off.

Use a warm water bottle in future. When you wet the bed, not only do you not electrocute yourself to death, but you also can blame it on a leaky bottle 🙂

Remora91
btch plz.

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Originally posted by pcaspian
Originally posted by IronPawnX
[b]
Are my parents sadistically murderers, or am I blowing this out of proportion? Please let be know before Thanksgiving so I know whether to eat the food.


It's only a danger if you leave it on whils't sleeping. The blanket starts to smoke before it catches fire, odds are you will suffocate or suffer from ...[text shortened]... only do you not electrocute yourself to death, but you also can blame it on a leaky bottle 🙂
[/b]
Thats real comforting. He'll suffocate to death instead of burn to death. 😉

p

Graceland.

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Originally posted by Remora91
Thats real comforting. He'll suffocate to death instead of burn to death. 😉

Well, atleast his parents aren't trying to kill him. That alone is worth something 🙂

K
Strawman

Not Kansas

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They were trying to kill you, but take heart, they were subtle enough to try to make it look like an accident, so you come from good stock ...

S
BentnevolentDictater

x10,y45,z-88,t3.1415

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Actually, it is more serious than you think. They were really trying to shatter your self-confidence and destroy your will to exist.

The inference that "you are expendable and the house is not" is the key.

Parents are all aliens though. So they probably love you in their own way. Good luck figuring out "their way".

LOL. In truth I enjoyed your lil'piece very much. Very well written and brought a good smile.

Brother Edwin
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The moral highground

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Originally posted by StarValleyWy
Actually, it is more serious than you think. They were really trying to shatter your self-confidence and destroy your will to exist.

The inference that "you are expendable and the house is not" is the key.

Parents are all aliens though. So they probably love you in their own way. Good luck figuring out "their way".

LOL. In truth I enjoyed your lil'piece very much. Very well written and brought a good smile.

Welcome back SVW it was boreing without you.

I

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Now here's a thought. Not to debate our views of the war on terror, I have an idea that could take care of that whole Al-Qieda problem.

Come Winter in Afganistan, we "accidentaly" drop a bunch of heater blankets and mini-generators over the mountains where we suspect Al-Qieda members are curled up in their regular blankets. Give it a few hours, and then we just sit up in our spy planes and count all the tiny bursts of light below.

If anyone has the ear of the President. . .

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