@Mott-The-Hoople saidNeed it for what?
Got one “out magazine” in the stand…need it?
No Advocate or New York Native in your putative stand?
It's a joke but a true joke:
A weird thing that this surviving gay man has had to deal with is the sense that some putative ally like Suzianne (or even someone more generic and less disparaging) might be cheering him on whenever he posts something that accords with what they imagine he should be doing to stand up for himself and others like him (but only then), which on my side comes across as rather simple-minded, objectifying, and controlling.
@Mott-The-Hoople saidIf you ever happen to find any back issues, I especially appreciated the Gertrude and Alice cartoon (maybe guest-starring Picasso) where "The cloth is too thin."
I will check
@Mott-The-Hoople saidI probably have that issue in a closet blocked by other stuff (I don't mean that in a symbolic way) and I'm not sure anyone else would find it funny.
On it boss
@Arkturos saidThe reason people become "involuntarily celibate" is because the people they would prefer to "hook up" with are utterly repulsed by their presence. Usually due to repulsive political agendas. Less usually because they're just repulsive people in general.
@shavixmir
Regarding the topic of the thread, maybe there's nothing to be done.
If incels can't pair up naturally without effort while treating others as equals, then the damage has been done and we should just let it be.
No seminars, no drugs. "If it doesn't come naturally, leave it."
Al Stewart fan, are you?
@Suzianne saidRE: Al Stewart -- yeah.
The reason people become "involuntarily celibate" is because the people they would prefer to "hook up" with are utterly repulsed by their presence. Usually due to repulsive political agendas. Less usually because they're just repulsive people in general.
Al Stewart fan, are you?
My thinking is more along the lines of paths crossing or not according to naturally occurring attractions or repulsions -- but even to have reduced it to such a formula seems a little false or not quite correct.
I think that to the hetero-attracted incels, maybe I could offer from my side as a post-middle-aged gay man of my times that I commiserate.
Even if we have different sets of problems, there's still some overlap, isn't there?
I imagine many hetero guys dream about having a compatible wife and kids who are not too weird, and that dream is probably reinforced by some hapless genetic imperative expressed by their mothers and grandmothers (and also the practical hope that their children will support them in later years -- in some cultures, anyway).
And maybe something we all share is that the person(s) most attractive to us might not be into us at all.
That's a common hurt, but on the non-hetero side our small percentage also has to consider possible threats of violence and social shunning just because we appreciate someone else's beauty and their ways and want to be with them.
@Suzianne saidLook, I'm not willing to play your "gay" pal. I'm just me, or at least this particular occurrence.
Apropos of nothing, I love the ultra-feminine Free People line at Nordstrom Rack.
Also, nice to see you embracing your true self.
Never been to a Nordstrom's. No idea whether the Euless Mall still exists.
As for "embracing my true self" -- can you not see how that might come across as somewhat controlling?
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I just had to Google incels
Is this correct?
"a member of an online community of young men who consider themselves unable to attract women sexually, typically associated with views that are hostile towards women and men who are sexually active."
What a fornicated up world we live in.
So, to answer the question: there's nothing to be done and they should just try to accept their fate and appreciate life as well as they can until they croak.
Training camps wouldn't help, because they would exacerbate the falsehoods.
Maybe it's a cruel and artificial expectation that we should all pair up.
Maybe incels deserve sympathy and in some cases commiseration, but such expressions might come across as condescending.
@Martin saidYes. These are straight cis men who "got no game" for whatever reason and are enraged by the idea that they'll live a sexless life. They are on the edge of being suicidally depressed but they refuse to blame themselves for how other people are disrespecting them and redirect those feeling to rage and bitterness. The mockery, teasing and taunting coming from both men and women is a major factor in this phenomenon.
I just had to Google incels
Is this correct?
"a member of an online community of young men who consider themselves unable to attract women sexually, typically associated with views that are hostile towards women and men who are sexually active."
What a fornicated up world we live in.
They should not be confused for the rich men who are the ones getting the women and disrespecting these men. Nor are they liberals who talk about womens' rights and how wonderful homosexuality is. When people like Arkturos above start making overtures of friendship and commonality from the gay community and people like Mott saying loser men who can't get women become queers these incels feel their manhood being attacked from both directions and they respond not by crying and going to their safe space, they respond by committing mass murder and then killing themselves. They do not want to be treated like "sissies" are in prison and will lash out in violence to avoid this treatment.