I once flew about the bottom of a bank of clouds.
I was alone with the drone of the Continental 95
in the Interstate as I wandered there below the
clouds. Alone I wandered in mind and machine. Away
from the town and away from my family and away from
the entire world that demanded rigid compliance.
Away from the crowd I wandered. I hated church. I
hated school. I wanted my aloneness to express the
very sadness of my being. But alas. It could not do
that.
No more than the first time I jerked off in that field
in Farson Wyoming in the field of hay. Away from grandpa
and my cousins and the hired hands. I jerked off and
thought I alone owned the universe. A great swollen thing
sat there and begged to be beaten again.
But I didn't. I walked back a mile from Hunsakers hay
field number ten to field number two and again joined
in the gathering of the hay bails. Up the shute. Onto
the truck. And again. And Again. And again and again.
Until there is an end and we drive for ten hours for the
sheep in winter. Those strange beasts that eat all this
fuc&king hay that we bring in thousand ton stacks. Four trucks per
day. Fourteen tons at a time. Two trucks. Seven Tons each.
I do admit that I wondered at the need
of the sheep as juxtaposed to my need of freedom from
bordom from filling their future and immediate need.
Oh well.
Then I notice the Rate Of Climb and I am falling at 2,000 ft.
per minute. I was just practicing full stalls. I have the
stick back against my crotch. I didn't stall. It... the damned
plane didn't stall. But I am falling... like a giddy pancake.
Flat I fall. Two thousand feet per minute. But I am only a thousand
feet above the mountains at the south end. I look down and see the
road to Labarge. I think in a very quiet way..."Oh well. It was
Fun."
Then I give power to the old continental and ease the stick
forward. I knock the branches off of a couple of trees and
I think with a grin... but no fear... "God! I am such a hot
shot pilot!"
I go back to Afton and land and then go bowling. I score a 192.
That is life? Or not?
Of course this is life, everyone has those moments. But is goes to show you how close we can come to getting our heads knocked off like
my cousin Earnie who went all the way through the Korean "war" and
flew home but this time the plane did not just pull up at the end, he got decapitated, sort of lost his head over the whole affair. Goes to show you, if there are any gods out there they fun they get is betting on which one will whack the wall not "oh dear, he is such a mench, we need to save his angelic ass"