I dated a woman who expressed an interest in bondage. I asked her if she wanted me to dominate her. She said yes. This was all new to me. I did date another woman who told me she liked a man who is dominant in the bedroom, but she didn't say she liked bondage. This bondage thing had me very curious so I looked into the psychology of it to try and understand it.
After doing some reading on the subject I decided to hold her hands down while having sex. Later she said that really turned her on. I still don't fully understand why. I know some women like to be ordered around by their lover and women do often like assertive men, but the bondage thing is above and beyond that. That is not to say men do not like being dominated by women though. I have heard stories of that too, but I suspect women like dominant men more than men like dominant women.
What is the origin of a desire for bondage? What is the psychology of it? Is the fact that the only woman that told me she was into bondage also told me she was raped by her brother when she was a young teen just coincidence? You would think she would try to avoid aggressive men after that experience, but that is not the case.
I welcome the opinion of women here if they choose to contribute. Please be civil and respectful, women and men. Try to be nice. I don't want this to become a gender bashing thread. I want this to be a thread that people can learn from, especially me. Please help me understand this.
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Originally posted by Metal BrainCultural references to BDSM
I dated a woman who expressed an interest in bondage. I asked her if she wanted me to dominate her. She said yes. This was all new to me. I did date another woman who told me she liked a man who is dominant in the bedroom, but she didn't say she liked bondage. This bondage thing had me very curious so I looked into the psychology of it to try and underst ...[text shortened]... t this to be a thread that people can learn from, especially me. Please help me understand this.
Madonna - Hanky Panky
Some girls, they like candy, and others, they like to grind,
I'll settle for the back of your hand somewhere on my behind.
Treat me like I'm a bad girl, even when I'm being good to you,
I don't want you to thank me, you can just spank me. Mmm.
Some guys like to sweet talk, and others, they like to tease,
Tie my hands behind my back and, ooo, I'm in ecstasy.
Don't slobber me with kisses, I can get that from my sisters,
Before I get too cranky, you better...
[Chorus:]
Like hanky panky (hanky panky),
Nothing like a good spanky (good spanky).
Don't take out your handkerchiefs,
I don't wanna cry, I just wanna hanky panky.
Like hanky panky (hanky panky),
Nothing like a good spanky (good spanky).
Don't take out your handkerchiefs,
I don't wanna cry, I just wanna hanky panky guy.
Oooo.
Please don't call a doctor, 'cause there's nothing wrong with me,
I just like things a little rough and you better not disagree.
'Cause I don't like a big softie, (no), I like someone mean and bossy,
Let me speak to you frankly, you better...
[chorus]
Oooo, yeah.
[Spoken:]
What about? Yeah. That's an interesting...
Oooo.
My bottom hurts just thinking about it.
(She wants you to) Treat me like I'm a bad girl,
(She needs you to) Even when I'm being good to you.
I don't want you to thank me (Don't thank her), you better...
[chorus]
(Hanky panky) Oooh, yeah
(Good spanky) Get the picture?
(Don't wanna cry, I just wanna)
That's the way I came into this world,
The doctor said, "Lady, she's a beautiful girl."
He gave me a spanky and the doctor smiled,
So give it up, honey, 'cause I want it.
Yeah.
(Hanky panky, good spanky, don't wanna cry, I just wanna)
Women like men who are more dominant than them (older, stronger, taller, heavier, etc.). It's also common knowledge that many women like "bad boys" and "alpha males" (for example, the insane popularity of 50 Shades). Bondage is merely an extension of that--having a dominant man dominate them.
I don't think it's the bondage itself that women are into. For example, I don't think many (if any) women would enjoy bondage with a man who was weaker, smaller and/or skinnier than they are. This fantasy must be done with the aforementioned more dominant male.
Originally posted by vivifyI think the word fantasy is big in explaining this. That may explain a lot of bad choices both men and women make. I have always believed in reality based decisions in all areas of life.
Women like men who are more dominant than them (older, stronger, taller, heavier, etc.). It's also common knowledge that many women like "bad boys" and "alpha males" (for example, the insane popularity of '50 Shades). Bondage is merely an extension of that; having a dominant man dominate them.
I don't think it's the bondage itself that women are into. ...[text shortened]... or skinnier than they are. This fantasy must be done with the aforementioned more dominant male.
Originally posted by Metal BrainIf you're looking for an explanation as to what defines or determines each person's sexuality, all I can say is good luck. Let me know when you find the answers and also, prepare your Nobel Prize acceptance speech.
I dated a woman who expressed an interest in bondage. I asked her if she wanted me to dominate her. She said yes. This was all new to me. I did date another woman who told me she liked a man who is dominant in the bedroom, but she didn't say she liked bondage. This bondage thing had me very curious so I looked into the psychology of it to try and underst ...[text shortened]... t this to be a thread that people can learn from, especially me. Please help me understand this.
Originally posted by Metal BrainYou don't get out much do you?
I dated a woman who expressed an interest in bondage. I asked her if she wanted me to dominate her. She said yes. This was all new to me. I did date another woman who told me she liked a man who is dominant in the bedroom, but she didn't say she liked bondage. This bondage thing had me very curious so I looked into the psychology of it to try and underst ...[text shortened]... t this to be a thread that people can learn from, especially me. Please help me understand this.
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Originally posted by Metal BrainOh, kinky !
I dated a woman who expressed an interest in bondage. I asked her if she wanted me to dominate her. She said yes. This was all new to me. I did date another woman who told me she liked a man who is dominant in the bedroom, but she didn't say she liked bondage. This bondage thing had me very curious so I looked into the psychology of it to try and underst ...[text shortened]... t this to be a thread that people can learn from, especially me. Please help me understand this.
Originally posted by Metal BrainI would hazard to guess it enhances the feeling of being "desired."
I dated a woman who expressed an interest in bondage. I asked her if she wanted me to dominate her. She said yes. This was all new to me. I did date another woman who told me she liked a man who is dominant in the bedroom, but she didn't say she liked bondage. This bondage thing had me very curious so I looked into the psychology of it to try and underst ...[text shortened]... t this to be a thread that people can learn from, especially me. Please help me understand this.