Almost True Story of Red Hot Pawn

Originally posted by Great Big Stees
36. Edith turned to Alan and said, "Do you think we could "lend" Russell our grommet flauber, just for a day or two, to see if that'll help he and Christopher?"

Originally posted by Grampy Bobby
37. From the earliest whirlwind, wartime interrupted days and months of their manifest destiny romance Alan's tone sensitivity toward Edith,

his own Duchess of Marlborough, was firmly intact. He knew that when she was serious she was being playful and when jesting dead serious.




38. ___________________




Request: Please sequentially n ...[text shortened]... or the sake of 'building block' continuity and as a courtesy to the next contributor. Thanks.

Originally posted by Grampy Bobby

Unclear as to why but this thread disappeared about an hour ago.

Originally posted by Great Big Stees
[b]38. He knew, by her tone, that she was seriously jesting and replied, "Wonderful idea my love. You do have a way about you don't you? Now how do you propose we get it to Russell without "them" suspecting what it is we're doing?" She replied, in her coy way, "Just leave that to me my sweetums..just leave that to me."

Originally posted by Great Big Stees
39. Edith was soon on the phone to Russell explaing that she was sending the grommet flauber over by courier. Russell asked, " Aunty, what exactly is a grommet flauber anyway?" She replied, "Is your phone secure Russell?" Russ said ,"Of course". "Good because I don't want anyone else hearing what I'm about to tell you, it's our, your uncle Alan and m ...[text shortened]... clusivity to the owner of their chess site. Russell this will make you a wealthy man"

Originally posted by Grampy Bobby
40. "Oh", Russ exclaimed, "and to think I thought a 'grommet flauber' might be some kind of fancy plumbers tool."

Lines 1 - 31 have been recovered below. Correcting my mistake in removing the previous thread.

*Chapter One... Site Genesis
(Lines 1-21)
1.In the United Kingdom, in what now seems an eternity past, Russ & Chris seized upon a new frontier internet idea and both said, "Hmm... "
2.Knitting. Yes, knitting. Purls and yarn. Bright colors. The masses will swarm to a website devoted to knitting. Can there be any doubt? They were beside themselves with glee. Until, that is, they did a market survey and discovered the ugly truth.
3.Profit!
4.And so it came to them in the next morning's core dump of the subconscious... not bright colors but black and white. Chess. Yes, chess!
5.It occurred to them that being able to actually play the game might help, but that silly notion was immediately dismissed with a hearty guffaw.
6.They'd been writing code for Rival Chess for awhile now, it wasn't exciting any more. The great big ONLINE world was waiting for ...
7.Something deeper than knitting, which is only a combination of two stitches, something innovative, stimulating, provocative.....
8.Actually they found out, that chess is far easier to program than your knot-theory heavy Knitting algortithm. And they found that they could do something provocative new: Bringing introvert chess geeks to form a "community" Web 2.0 we are coming.
9.And hell is coming with us, in the form of forums and againstums.
10.Russ turned to Chris and said," Yo Chris, what we gunna call it?" to which Chris replied," How 'bout we call it Christopher and Russel's chess site". Taken aback by the thought of Chris getting "top Billing" Russ said, "Are you out of your mind , it was my idea" and the struggle for an appropriate name started.
11."Well, how would you like to settle it, then?", Chris inquired.
Russ pondered. And Chris knew Russ was pondering because of the adorable way Russ stroked his chin with his thumb and forefinger. This went on for quite some time. Tiring of admiring the imperial repose of Russ, Chris interjected.
"Well?"
"Oh, sorry.", Russ responded, roused from his reverie, "I was thinking of my vegetable garden."
Chris nodded sympathetically. Who doesn't have concerns about their veggies, after all? Still, there was the thorny issue of the name to resolve.
12.And then they smelled something burning.
13.There lying adjacent to the hob was the daily broadsheet. By chance open upon the penultimate page, the daily chess problem.
"White to move, mate in 4"
And all about the printed board was flame, and blackening of paper, and smoke and FIRE!
14.And as Chris and Russ watched the chess puzzle burn, the last piece they saw on the board was a pawn. Then the name hit them both like a ton of bricks.
15."Retardant Pawn", Chris exclaimed and Russ said ,"Who you calling a retarded prawn?"
16."Last pawn burning"?
17.The flames were threatening the nearby curtains, so Russ rushed about looking for something to fill with water while Chris tore down the curtains with one swipe. Finally the fire was extinguished and the chessboard lay in one charred heap. Suddenly, out of the ashes they detected one piece still standing. A miracle! One lone pawn stood smoldering and still aglow with an eerie red light. Smoke rose with the heat waves as Russ and Chris stood in reverent silence. Inspired and in awe, they both breathed in unison....."Red Hot Pawn"!
18."Pawn obituary"?
19.Yes, of course. Of course!
20.At that historic moment, by chance, an elderly spinster was hobbling past the window.
A founder of the local Womens Institute, she caught only the last two fading words as they danced out of the window.
Leaning in, she astutely observed.
"That's fine as names go, but consider modern firewalls and the perceptions of the ill-informed. Have an alternative name to hand which sidesteps the likely sexual misrepresentation"
21. Having failed to get a date as user # 1 on his dating site, Russ thought to himself, "maybe I can get a date in a chat room filled with chess geeks. I'm sure that if I build it, they will come."
*Chapter Two... Not Without Strenuous Effort
(Lines 22-
22. Thoughtful planning was required. The building, just as with Rome, didn't occur overnight. Russ and Chris were prepared from the outset.
23.Yes prepared to do whatever it took, to not only set up a chess site but to be able, at some point down the road, to make millions. But how, exactly, to make millions from a chess site? After the predictably protracted fit of hysterical laughter, and the consumption of more than their fair share of papaya smoothies, the duo recalibrated their goal to simply creating a chess site that would earn enough to support their renaissance faire habit.
Armed with a concept and a name, their next order of business was to...
24.24.But how, exactly, to make millions from a chess site? After the predictably protracted fit of hysterical laughter, and the consumption of more than their fair share of papaya smoothies, the duo recalibrated their goal to simply creating a chess site that would earn enough to support their renaissance faire habit.
Armed with a concept and a name, their next order of business was to...
25.....sell it to their "bankers" and investors. Carmine diPocci, their main "banker" said, "OK Russell we can help you out...for a price but I need to see my money returned at a reasonable rate of interest let's say...oh 130%....a month. Does that seem within your means?"
26.Russell rolled his eyes. "Let me sleep on it," he said. "Good decisions from a position of strength, in chess as well as life, are often simple, but seldom easy."
27.A bit discouraged, Russ went home to get some much needed sleep. In spite of participating in his nightly thrity seconds of vigorous relaxation therapy, he found serene slumber to be evasive. How to come up with reasonable financing for his dream? A quick calcualtion of the black market value of Chris' organs lead to another dead end. Then, the idea came to him...
28.Direct Marketing. We'll buy up as many lists of chess players as we can get our hands on. That idea soon went by the wayside, only a 2-3% response (and that would be good) and then what negative billing?....hmmmmmm maybe...nah we need something more aggressive. And so it went Russ and Chris brainstorming for the perfect answer........
29.The end.
30.Alan and Edith Mills resided in a lovely garden home in Kent. Russ had always regarded them as his favorite aunt and uncle, never quite realizing that they esteemed him as their favorite nephew. Alan was an unflappable world traveled gent who played tennis all year, even in the blustery winter months with his flying scarf on. Edith was born to wealth in Scotland and in a class with the Duchess of Marlborough.
Russ had received an invitation by phone to dine with Alan and Edith at their home a fortnight from Saturday, the weekend prior to Thanksgiving.
31.Russ called his aunt after having recieved the invitation. Edith answered, "Hello Russel, how are you?"
"Quite well Auntie, thanks for the invite." Russ replied. "I was wondering if I could bring Chris, my friend."
"ONLY friends?" Edith replied.
"Ya, why?"
"I thought he was you prospective business member trying to start a new online chess site." Edith said.
Russ, after having almost dropped the phone asked, "HOW did you know that?!?"
"I have my ways," Edith cooly replied, "Come to our place in 2 weeks? We'll pay for plane tickets for both of you.".....

Originally posted by Great Big Stees
41. Edith, in a very "unEdith" manner, said. " As a plumber, my dear nephew, you'd make a great astronaut". Russ replied "What?" "Oh never mind Rusty (her pet name for him) just sign for and use the device when it arrives".

Originally posted by Grampy Bobby
42. __________________

Originally posted by Great Big Stees
42. Russ said,"Aunt Edith if you haven't sent the device yet Chris and I will take those two plane tickets and head to Kent to talk to you and uncle Alan about the grommet flauber".