Alternative film plots

The Karate Kid

Misfit Daniel moves to a new area with his mum, and starts falling foul of the local bullies.

Daniel meets up with an old Japanese man and begs him to teach him the ancient art of karate.

The Japanese man, Mr Miyagi, gets Daniel to do a number of time-consuming menial tasks. Waxing cars, painting fences, etc.

Daniel eventually gets fed up with this and complains to Mr Miyagi that he is not learning any karate.

Mr Miyagi replies: "Karate? I don't know any karate. Don't blame me for your racist assumptions. Here's five dollars. And thanks."

Daniel continues to get beaten up until he eventually kills himself.

The end.

Originally posted by dottewell
The Karate Kid

Misfit Daniel moves to a new area with his mum, and starts falling foul of the local bullies.

Daniel meets up with an old Japanese man and begs him to teach him the ancient art of karate.

The Japanese man, Mr Miyagi, gets Daniel to do a number of time-consuming menial tasks. Waxing cars, painting fences, etc.

Daniel eventu hanks."

Daniel continues to get beaten up until he eventually kills himself.

The end.

Originally posted by Dr Strangelove
That's far more interesting than the original version. 😀

The Da Vinci Code

An author is writing a novel about how the truth of what really happened to Jesus has been covered up by a sinister organisation of strangely dressed men in silly hats. One night, he dreams that he has finished his novel and starts reading through it. Reaching the end, he is overwhelmed with the realisation that his book is the cheapest schlock that money can buy, renounces writing for good, and signs on at a seminary. The day after his arrival, he comes upon a young monk lying dead in the back seat of the seminary bus...

The Name of the Rose

Using the detective skills he has gleaned from his research on his failed novel, the former author examines the corpse while it is still fresh, and comes to the conclusion that he died of poisoning.
- The poison was on the pages of the book he held in his hands, he told the chief priest.
- Don't be ridiculous, it was in the soup, said the priest, pushing the author down a manhole.

The End

Originally posted by dottewell
I'm working on an adaptation of Top Gun, with chess instead of fighter jets.

"I feel the need... The need for A SOUND PAWN STRUCTURE."

Originally posted by dottewell
Also, an update of the series The A-Team. This will be pretty much identical to the original, except all the main characters will be flamboyantly gay.

Now if only I could think of a name...

Originally posted by dottewell
Now if only I could think of a name...

Originally posted by dottewell
Also, an update of the series The A-Team. This will be pretty much identical to the original, except all the main characters will be flamboyantly gay.

Now if only I could think of a name...

Damn, too easy.

What about my remake of Superman, where the hero's only super-power is the ability to scoop things up in his bucket-like hands?

Originally posted by dottewell
Damn, too easy.

What about my remake of Superman, where the hero's only super-power is the ability to scoop things up in his bucket-like hands?

Originally posted by dottewell
Damn, too easy.

What about my remake of Superman, where the hero's only super-power is the ability to scoop things up in his bucket-like hands?

Originally posted by dottewell
Damn, too easy.

What about my remake of Superman, where the hero's only super-power is the ability to scoop things up in his bucket-like hands?

Originally posted by dottewell
Also, an update of the series The A-Team. This will be pretty much identical to the original, except all the main characters will be flamboyantly gay.

Now if only I could think of a name...

Originally posted by ark13
Can I get a rec for poking fun at gay people?

Originally posted by ark13
Can I get a rec for poking fun at gay people?