Yesterday some good friends of mine went off roading and camping in the Ocala National Forest. Sadly, I had other committments and could not go.
These events are usually accompanied by serious drinking and much idiocy and this one was apparently no exception. Sometime very late last night five of them took an old Jeep off into the woods for some night time drunken 'commando' activities. I believe my friend Dave's intentions towards another campers girlfriend were not honorable and this is what motivated the 'jaunt'.
Apparently, much fun was had sliding through sand, avoiding tree limbs and trying not to lose the beer cooler out the back. Chris, another friend of mine, was apparently sitting on the hood of the Jeep with a spotlight. Chris is normally pretty bright, but, apparently, 12+ hours of drinking had taken their toll. Needless to say, the Jeep hit a large rut, came to a sudden stop and Chris slid off the hood and smashed his groinal region on the trailer hitch attachment normally used to tow the Jeep behind another vehicle.
Details are somewhat sketchy at this point, but, apparently the end of the trailer hitch travelled up Chris's shorts, cut open his scrotum and slid up his abdomen and ultimately stoped on his rib cage. Fortunately, Chris, despite cracking several ribs and cartiledge, did not suffer major damage to internal organs. However, the hitch popped out one of his testicles like a pea out of a pod. It is too soon to tell if his remaining 'tackle' will survive the ordeal.
From what I'm told, it took 3 hours to get Chris back to the camp and a waiting ambulance (the drunken gits had gotten lost).
Moral of the story: If you're trying to nail some chick in the woods stay close to camp.
Originally posted by Hand of Hecate😕 You have a strange definition of 'good friends'.
Yesterday some good friends of mine went off roading and camping in the Ocala National Forest. Sadly, I had other committments and could not go.
These events are usually accompanied by serious drinking and much idiocy and this one was apparently no exception. Sometime very late last night five of them took an old Jeep off into the woods for some ...[text shortened]... al of the story: If you're trying to nail some chick in the woods stay close to camp.
Originally posted by PalynkaWhy's that, they're completely insane, but, great fun to party with.... except for one of our cop friends, otherwise known as naked guy. Last time we took him out to a camp he shot a bunch of racoons with his 9mm, naked and drunk off his ass.
😕 You have a strange definition of 'good friends'.
Edit: As an update on Chris, he is out of surgery and they were able to save one testicle and his ding dong, but, the surgery has left him badly swollen and in extreme pain.
Originally posted by catfoodtimWouldn't rubbing the cream in cause it to swell even more?😕😉
Speaking of nuts, this reminds me of when I lived in London.
We were scorched one summer so went to sit in the park. My mate wore his shorts but no underwear - much to our disgust when we sat down and got an eyeful of his tackle. He suffered from psioriasis (behind his back we called him flaky) so we tolerated it as he reckoned the fresh air helped t ...[text shortened]... xisting skin complaint meant lots of cuts apparently as the cracked skin stretched.
Nasty.
Originally posted by Hand of HecateAnd you want us to have sympathy for an allegedly bright friend who whilst drunk allows his drunk friends to drive him around sitting on the hood of a jeep.
Yesterday some good friends of mine went off roading and camping in the Ocala National Forest. Sadly, I had other committments and could not go.
These events are usually accompanied by serious drinking and much idiocy and this one was apparently no exception. Sometime very late last night five of them took an old Jeep off into the woods for some ...[text shortened]... al of the story: If you're trying to nail some chick in the woods stay close to camp.
Nutters. Absolute nutters.