*Have you ever dreamed about chess?
A, Once or twice. (5p)
B, That is absurd- my dreams are coloured only. (0p)
C, I enjoy beating Kasparov every night. (10p)
*Have you ever fallen asleep with a chess set and woken up with
pieces surrounding you?
A, Hey man, that's nothing to joke about I had to go to the doctors
after that incident. (3p)
B, Of course, I'm snuggling up with the black/white king/queen every
night. (10p)
C, That's real perversion. (0p)
*Can you play blindfolded?
A, I get lost after 10-15 moves. (6p)
B, I play almost as good as usual. (10p)
C, I know e4 e5 Nf3 and then I can't picture the other knight, don't
ask me about sicilian dragon. (0p)
*How many hours a day do you put down on chess?
A, Not more than an hour. (1p)
B, 1-3 hours. (5p)
C, 3-> hours. (10p)
*Do you get upset when playing against an obvious program?
A, I'm a bit annoyed (thanks to several different reasons). (5p)
B, The better the competetion, the better the game. (10p)
C, I put on some hardcore murdahiphop fantisizing about disecting
the cheater (or you do it 😉). (4p)
*How do you make your move OTB, after leaving ordinare repertoir?
A, I look at the situation and follow my intuition/heart. (5p)
B, I look at my opponents pawn chain and placement of pieces and try
to come up with a plan to exploit my opponent's weakness(es). (10p)
C, Move? Hey- go pawns go! March and mate- that's my strategy. (2p)
*Which player do you prefer?
A, Botvinnik because of his solid and positional play combined with
perfect endgame knowledge. (10p)
B, Alekhine for his astounding sacrifices and sense for the game. (7p)
C, Kasparov for his deep knowledge combined with logical and
calculated moves. (5p)
*Between chess, family, work etc etc where does chess place?
A, 1st of course, my children are my pawns and I am the king. (15p)
B, 2nd-3rd place. (6p)
C, 4th-> place, yes it's just a hobby okay? (0p)
*Do you play in a club participating in tournaments?
A, All the time. (10p)
B, You can call it that. (5p)
C, No, maybe if RHP is counted as one? (1p)
*What do you do when you're sad?
A, Beat up a couple of opponents in blitzchess, the oldfashioned 'kill
everything in your way' way. (10p)
B, Turn to your family but play some when you have regathered your
joy. (4p)
C, Do not think of chess. (-2p)
11-20 p
You're the average player. You do not put down much effort in making
your moves, chess history doesn't really interest you and you like to
play for social reasons. You're a waste of space. Go drop dead 😉.
21-35 p
You probably have played some chess when you were little and you
enjoy the game to a fair amount, as any other hobbie of yours. I
think you should study some...
36-55 p
You are a good player and history interests you fairly, you was
probably taught up when you were little and you have probably played
a fair amount of games in your days. You see that chess is not
everything in your life and...you're dead wrong. Chess is all that
matters.
56-79 p
You are one of those who never really can be the best but you are
successfull in 95% of your games and you have worked pretty hard on
your ability- you are a very hard opponent to face since you do know
more than basic knowledge and most probably have great experience.
80-105 p
You, my friend, are one true chessplayer. We're not many but we're
the elite clique. People like us will rule the world- we don't get beaten,
we sleep with black-white squared pyjamas and we dream about chess
very often. We also like to play ourselves and the game often ends in
a draw after 129 moves because no part of you wants to accept an
equal opponent- that actually can manage to draw you- even if it is
yourself. Many times do we wake up with our latest purchase, a book
of course, and our magnetic chess set in the bed.