Bart's Blackboard Quotes..

I will not torment the emotionally frail.
I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge.
I will not spin the turtle.
This punishment is not boring and pointless.
I will not yell "She's dead" during roll call.
I do not have diplomatic immunity.
I will not say "Springfield" just to get applause.
I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers.
Next time it could be me on the scaffolding.
The Good Humor man can only be pushed so far.
Indian burns are not our cultural heritage.
I will stop talking about the twelve inch pianist.
I no longer want my MTV.
Everyone is tired of that Richard Gere story.
Sherri does not "got back".
I have neither been there nor done that.
I will stop phoning it in.
Substitute teachers are not scabs.
My suspension was not "mutual".
A belch is not an oral report.
"Non-Flammable" is not a challenge.
I will not surprise the incontinent.
The nurse is not dealing.
Science class should not end in tragedy.
Network TV is not dead.
"Temptation Island" was not a sleazy piece of crap.
I will not scare the Vice President.
Nobody reads these anymore.
The giving tree is not a chump.
This school does not need a "regime change".
SpongeBob is not a contraceptive.
A burp in a jar is not a science project.

Genius or what?!

Bart is a brilliant lad. After all, he is a son of the world's foremost genius.

EDIT: btw I am potentially sorry, coz i dont know if "foremost" is a word. it just sounds good.

Originally posted by Peachy
Genius or what?!

"I must finish what I star"

My favourite one was "pork is not a verb"

Bart: What'd you do? Screw up like the Beatles and say you were bigger than Jesus?

Homer: All the time. It was the title of our second album.

Homer: "If you really want something in this life you have to work for it. Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers"

Hey, I thought the giving tree was a chump, too! And the boy was a greedy tyrant. I refuse to give up suprising the incontinent, tho!

Grandpa Simpson after his new girlfried died when he missed their date: "They said she died of a burst ventricle but I know she died of a broken heart"

Originally posted by Wheely
Grandpa Simpson after his new girlfried died when he missed their date: "They said she died of a burst ventricle but I know she died of a broken heart"

Homer: So I realized that being with my family is more important
than being cool.
Bart: Dad, what you just said was powerfully uncool.
Homer: You know what the song says: "It's hip to be square."
Lisa: That song is so lame.
Homer: So lame that it's... cool?
Bart and Lisa: No.
Marge: Am I cool, kids?
Bart and Lisa: No.
Marge: Good. I'm glad. And that's what makes me cool—not caring, right?
Bart and Lisa: No.
Marge: Well, how the hell do you be cool? I feel like we've tried
everything here.
Homer: Wait, Marge. Maybe if you're truly cool, you don't need to
be told you're cool.
Bart: Well, sure you do.
Lisa: How else would you know?

I do not have the authority to fire substitute teachers

I will not call my teacher "Hot Cakes"

Homer: There is a NEW MEXICO!?!?!

From the Behind the Laughter Episode:
Homer: Let me get this straight: I thought the cop was a prostitute. (nods head)
Homer: I literally ATE the scenery. (hand holding prop with teeth marks)