28 Jan 10
Beyond Lulz... (with an appreciation of one younger, quite honest, equally blunt and rather special internet friend in New England)
For starters, three worthwhile questions: (1) To what extent do we really perceive ourselves as others see us? (2) To what extent
do many/most of us really care about the disconnect? (3) To what extent do we actually care about questions (1) or (2)? Discuss.
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28 Jan 10
Originally posted by Grampy Bobby1: No one can truly percieve us we percieve ourselves. We are on the inside looking out so our perspectives are vastly different. The person observing does not, and cannot know all the personal history of another person, or their thoughts and most intimate secrets. The gap between who we think we are, and who others think we are is gigantic.
[b]Beyond Lulz... (with an appreciation of one younger, quite honest, equally blunt and rather special internet friend in New England)
For starters, three worthwhile questions: (1) To what extent do we really perceive ourselves as others see us? (2) To what extent
do many/most of us really care about the disconnect? (3)[/b ...[text shortened]... ually care about questions (1) or (2)? Discuss.
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2: I think some people care about the disconnect, that's why they are sometimes forthcoming with personal information; so that others will have a better understanding of who they are. Others go through life like a bull in a china shop, neither caring nor listening to what others think...it takes all types I guess.
3: I don't really care, but you asked...I answered
28 Jan 10
Originally posted by duecerYou obviously care quite deeply. Great insights. Tried to rec them but got
1: No one can truly percieve us we percieve ourselves. We are on the inside looking out so our perspectives are vastly different. The person observing does not, and cannot know all the personal history of another person, or their thoughts and most intimate secrets. The gap between who we think we are, and who others think we are is gigantic.
2: I think som ...[text shortened]... hers think...it takes all types I guess.
3: I don't really care, but you asked...I answered
"Sorry, you have used all your available recommendations at this time".
28 Jan 10
The post that was quoted here has been removed(1) Partially. Degree varies since others have different levels of discernment, while our own self view usually tends to remain more or less fixed/static. (2) Believe most all high/low functioning human beings realize the disconnect is there (possibly accurate and factual) but give ourseleves daily reasons to dismiss it. (3) Only Duecer, Catfoodtim and Boston Lad so far. Your thoughts?
28 Jan 10
3 edits
Originally posted by PhlabibitYou anticipate well. Just clicked my HP Laptop back on to add an easy edit...
You should come to my next BBQ, the neighbors might let you use their fenced in pool!~
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"Au contraire. Getting butt naked has always been one of my favorite brands.
Edit: In business, chess games, conversation, mirror of my soul and bedroom."
29 Jan 10
Originally posted by Grampy Bobby
Beyond Lulz... (with an appreciation of one younger, quite honest, equally blunt and rather special internet friend in New England)
For starters, three worthwhile questions: (1) To what extent do we really perceive ourselves as others see us? (2) To what extent
do many/most of us really care about the disconnect? (3) T ...[text shortened]... ually care about questions (1) or (2)? Discuss.
.......................................[/b]
(1) To what extent do we really perceive ourselves as others see us?
Nearly not at all. I see as the individual as so close to the subject that the broader overview is impossible. While others can describe certain aspects of us--- and we can relate bits and pieces of that information to what we think of ourselves--- our perspective is so closely tied to our identity that to separate completely (or, at least enough to see us without that lens) would be disastrous, akin to a personality split.
(2) To what extent do many/most of us really care about the disconnect?
We usually don't care until there is either something at stake or some type of conflict. When the other person's opinion matters we go to extra lengths to ascertain that opinion or if we find ourselves in an overwhelming deluge of conflict, we may begin to question how the other views us. For the rest of the time, however, I don't see us really caring all that much.
(3) To what extent do we actually care about questions (1) or (2)?
I imagine that most people would prefer to live unexamined lives and therefore prefer to avoid such taxing propositions.
29 Jan 10
Originally posted by Grampy Bobby1)To the extent that they lat us know. BUT some people think that they know what others really think, so these don't even know that much, but know nothing indeed.
For starters, three worthwhile questions:
(1) To what extent do we really perceive ourselves as others see us?
(2) To what extent do many/most of us really care about the disconnect? (3) To what extent do we actually care about questions (1) or (2)? Discuss.
.......................................[/b]
2) This can't beanswered. People are different. What people tell us is only a part and not necessarilly a true part of what they really think. What people write on the internet in the guise of a truly independent cyberpersona they invent is not to be known anyway. So nobody can answer your quetsion truthfully. I can state for my self that teh (apparent) disconnect bothers me BIG time. I want to be poerceived as I see myself 😉
3) see 2)
29 Jan 10
Originally posted by FreakyKBH[b](1)To what extent do we really perceive ourselves as others see us?
Nearly not at all. I see as the individual as so close to the subject that the broader overview is impossible. While others can describe certain aspects of us--- and we can relate bits and pieces of that information to what we think of ourselves--- our perspective ...[text shortened]... would prefer to live unexamined lives and therefore prefer to avoid such taxing propositions.[/b]Wonder if the deception applies even at the appearance level. Do your subordinates,
colleagues and superiors see exactly what you noticed while shaving this morning?
29 Jan 10
Originally posted by Grampy BobbyI think mirrors help, but (as you stated), there exists a certain defense/dismissal on our parts even--- or most especially--- when the instruments of observation are keen as keen can be.
Wonder if the deception applies even at the appearance level. Do your subordinates,
colleagues and superiors see exactly what you noticed while shaving this morning?
"Camera adds ten pounds" "Poor lighting" "Bad angle" and the like are all coping mechanisms which help shield us from the ugly truth that the ideal and the reality aren't always actually intertwined.
It's similar to that reserve we cling to when lying to ourselves about our own efforts: "If I'd tried my hardest, I would have won," and etc..
The pointillism we practice in private is nearly always seen as something other when viewed from afar.
29 Jan 10
1 edit
Originally posted by FreakyKBH"The pointillism we practice in private is nearly always seen as something other when viewed from afar."
I think mirrors help, but (as you stated), there exists a certain defense/dismissal on our parts even--- or most especially--- when the instruments of observation are keen as keen can be.
"Camera adds ten pounds" "Poor lighting" "Bad angle" and the like are all coping mechanisms which help shield us from the ugly truth that the ideal and the reality are e practice in private is nearly always seen as something other when viewed from afar.[/b]
And not only in Springtime.