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Billy Mays

Billy Mays

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Originally posted by hopscotch
BILLY MAYS HERE.
BACK IN THE GRAVE, HAS-BEEN, OR YOU'LL GET A SLAP-CHOP!

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Originally posted by Fleabitten
BACK IN THE GRAVE, HAS-BEEN, OR YOU'LL GET A SLAP-CHOP!
BILLY MAYS HERE

I'D LIKE TO TELL YOU ABOUT THE BIG CITY SLIDER - NO MORE SQUISHIN' AND SQUASHIN', OR FLIPPIN' AND FLOPPIN' WITH THE BIG CITY SLIDER, JUST SCOOP, PRESS AND COOK RIGHT ON YOUR STOVE. USE DINNER ROLLS, POTATO ROLLS, OR ANY BUN! YOU CAN DOUBLE OR TRIPLE STACK 'EM AND WATCH YOUR FAMILY ATTACK 'EM!

CALL NOW AND RECEIVE THE BIG CITY SLIDER STATION WITH MEASURING SCOOP FOR JUST 19.99! WE'LL ALSO INCLUDE THE SLIDER STATION RECIPE GUIDE LOADED WITH MY FAVORITE CREATIONS ABSOLUTELY FREE.

CALL NOW

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http://totallylookslike.files.wordpress.com/2009/07/the-late-billy-mays-totally-looks-like-this-lumberjack.jpg?w=401&h=271

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Originally posted by hopscotch
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LyTEKhkB8OM
Wow, Billy, the products you pitch are all so necessary and all you say is true.

If only my representative in Washington would be more like you.

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Hey, folks. Got a bloated, cocaine-riddled corpse of a former pitchman lying on your living room floor and don't know what to do with it? Don't worry, the SLAP-CHOP will solve all of your problems.

Watch. With just a little slap the SLAP-CHOP makes sausage out of those fingers. Throw some nutmeg in there and you've got breakfast for the kids. The Malaysians make it, so you know it has to be good. Pay attention because we're going to go theough this fast. Are you with me camera-guy? Heavy duty grinding of femurs? No problem, the SLAP-CHOP can handle it. Liumberjack beard hair? No sweat. This thing slaps itself. Like my cool looking headset? Me, too.

Puddle of blood on the floor? No problem. Call within the next ten minutes because, you know, we can't do this all day, and I'll throw in a SHAM-WOW to clean up the mess. That's the SLAP-CHOP and the SHAM-WOW all in one package that would make Eskimos sweat. Call now.

1-800-BILLY-B-GONE

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You're more harmful than the long lines of coke Billy snorted! 😲

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Originally posted by Seitse
You're more harmful than the long lines of coke Billy snorted! 😲
I can't abide zombie pitchmen. I've seen too many George Romero movies.

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Originally posted by Fleabitten
I can't abide zombie pitchmen. I've seen too many George Romero movies.
His family wept for your comment.

http://www.republicofjoe.com/pics/Billy_mays_family.png

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Billy, where are you?

Vince Offer is threatening me with a good beeatch-slappin'

:'(

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Originally posted by Seitse
Billy, where are you?

Vince Offer is threatening me with a good beeatch-slappin'

:'(
Vince only wants your love. Why can't you love Vince in that special way that you loved Billy?


Oh, and he wants you to buy more SLAP-CHOPS.

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Originally posted by Fleabitten
Vince only wants your love. Why can't you love Vince in that special way that you loved Billy?


Oh, and he wants you to buy more SLAP-CHOPS.
Will the camera man stop following me if I do? 🙁

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Originally posted by Seitse
Will the camera man stop following me if I do? 🙁
Yes. Until it's time to buy more SLAP-CHOPS.