Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest 2004 Results
An international literary parody contest, the competition honors the memory (if not the reputation) of Victorian novelist Edward George Earl Bulwer-Lytton (1803-1873). The goal of the contest is childishly simple: entrants are challenged to submit bad opening sentences to imaginary novels. Although best known for The Last Days of Pompeii (1834), which has been made into a movie three times, originating the expression he pen is mightier than the sword, and phrases like he great unwashed and he almighty dollar, Bulwer-Lytton opened his novel Paul Clifford (1830) with the immortal words that the Peanuts beagle Snoopy plagiarized for years, It was a dark and stormy night.
I couldn't stop laughing.
Enjoy -
http://www2.sjsu.edu/depts/english/2004.htm
Awesome!
I'm still chuckling 🙂
I especially liked this one:
Winner: Romance
Looking up from his plate of escargots, Sean gazed across the table at Sharon and sadly realized that her bubbly personality now reminded him of the bubbles you get when you put salt on a slug and it squirms around and foams all over the place, and her moist lips were also like the slime on a slug but before you salted it, though after all these years Sharon still smelled better than slugs, but that could have been the garlic butter on her escargots.
Originally posted by BlobbySpelling lessons.Would that interest you?It can somtimes lead to the appreciation of reading,which can in turn ,lead to the love of literature.Sorry for the harshness but disrespect is disrespect.
i think you should just quit the forum now mate cause nowones interested in your literacy leson thread
My girlfriend had her sentence published in the 1998 edition of their book, Bride of Dark and Stormy:
"After playing the final note of her solo, Julia haughtily tossed back her flaming auburn curls, emptied her trumpet's spit valve onto the smooth wooden floor, and sauntered proudly off the stage, unaware that Rodney, sitting in the first row of the audience, was rapturously gazing at the glistening pool of saliva she had left beind–-the auditorium lights dancing off the soft, foamy bubbles like sunlight on the ocean--and yearned to wipe it up with his handkerchief and take it home, knowing that it would be the only part of her he could ever possess."
Originally posted by Windsor MikeI got some of the same static from this guy by the third move of a game I accepted with him. With the same spelling prowess. He's rude, bereft of social skills, ignore him. I refused to finish my game with him... anyway, back to the topic people.
Spelling lessons.Would that interest you?It can somtimes lead to the appreciation of reading,which can in turn ,lead to the love of literature.Sorry for the harshness but disrespect is disrespect.
Originally posted by BlobbyYou're not being picked on because you're a newbie. You're being picked on because you're being a prick.
no need to pick on me just becaue am a newbie
Okay, so at age 12 you're too young to be considered a prick, but you're definitely not quite ready to be conversin' with the grownups.