Chess Jokes

DEFINITIONS:

middlegame ... when your opponent has developed all his pieces
endgame ... when you have developed all yours

good bishop ... his
bad bishop ... yours

promotion ... top board has flu

speculative move ... mistake

Proof gb doesn't play chess: ... he doesn't know any chess jokes.

Originally posted by KJCavalier
Again I don't claim them as mine, just cute:

TOP TEN moments when you should sense danger in chess:

There has been a change in the pawn structure; your opponent has 8 and you don’t have any.
Your opponent begins to throw pawns at your eyes.
You have a position won, but your opponent has a gun.
The Director tells you not to bother ...[text shortened]... sks him, "So what are you going to do tomorrow?" And the other answers, "Same as always: 1. e4."

RHP's Only Chess Forum (Six Years Ago)

"Your favorite Chess Joke

Original post by Standard member Scriabin, 25 Jun '08 02:10"

Thread 95885 (Pages 1-3)

Originally posted by Grampy Bobby
RHP's Only Chess Forum (Six Years Ago)

"Your favorite Chess Joke

Original post by Standard member Scriabin, 25 Jun '08 02:10"

Thread 95885 (Pages 1-3)

Originally posted by SwissGambit
Favorite chess joke? The new, fast-paced FIDE knockout "world championships". Or maybe the Orangutan opening.
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"I once played orangutan, and he played the Orangutan. I lost. What a joke." -Nordlys (Page 1)
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"Wife: Chess! Chess! Chess! that is all you talk about.
When was the last time you took me out?

Husband: er......Two Knights ago." -greenpawn34 (Page 2)