Cleanest/funniest insults

I'm currently doing a play called "Red Noses". It's all about life during the 14th century. The black death is the central theme. One of the characters insult their own daughter by calling her, and I quote : "Scrat face"

Any other funny insults out there?

Originally posted by knersis21
I'm currently doing a play called "Red Noses". It's all about life during the 14th century. The black death is the central theme. One of the characters insult their own daughter by calling her, and I quote : "Scrat face"

Any other funny insults out there?

Originally posted by phil nutley
Your a plank!

Originally posted by Nordlys
'You're' is 'you're', planker. 😛

Originally posted by ivangrice
I think you meant to write "'your' should be 'you're'."

Plinkee-planker

Need I say it? Your mother was a hampster, and your father smelt of elderberries.

Originally posted by knersis21
I'm currently doing a play called "Red Noses". It's all about life during the 14th century. The black death is the central theme. One of the characters insult their own daughter by calling her, and I quote : "Scrat face"

Any other funny insults out there?

"As dumb as a box of rocks" still rates a chuckle from me.

Just google search Shakesperian insults. There are some belting ones: -

Thou paunchy crook-pated maggot-pie!

i've had a fabulous evening, it just wasn't this one.

fred

'Yes, I'm pleased to meet you too, but sir, at least you were telling the truth'.

An insult by implication by a famous cellist, Andre Navarra if I recall correctly: He was giving a master class, and this was his comment after a female student had played: "Nice. Very nice." (short silence) "You have very nice hair."

Originally posted by Nordlys
An insult by implication by a famous cellist, Andre Navarra if I recall correctly: He was giving a master class, and this was his comment after a female student had played: "Nice. Very nice." (short silence) "You have very nice hair."

Originally posted by Moldy Crow
Said to a man : "That's a nice shirt . Do they make them for men as well?"

toe-rag
scrag-end
toe-end
raggermuffin

this list is endless