14 Feb 08
Suppose, due to an unavoidable celestial event (let's say a non-lethal storm of radiation from a passing asteroid), all fart emanations from human and animal life on Earth were no longer invisible, but came out of our bodies in bright, whispy clouds of vividly-colored gas.
Imagine how this could potentially cause untold changes in our entire civilization, altering all conceivable human interactions.
As it is today, people can nonchalantly fart in public, on busy city streets, under various normal daily situations, and go undetected. But if farts were visible, this would no longer be the case.
Today, how many people fart while turning corners or walking up stairs, thinking no one will notice? If their farts came out in misty shades of yellow or green or red, they'd have to develop an entirely new strategy for dealing with intestinal gas. No one could hide.
Perhaps, after a period of adjustment, human civilization might come to rank human beings by the color of their farts.
What do you think would happen if farts were suddenly visible?
14 Feb 08
Originally posted by mikelomI would have to retire from teaching.
Suppose, due to an unavoidable celestial event (let's say a non-lethal storm of radiation from a passing asteroid), all fart emanations from human and animal life on Earth were no longer invisible, but came out of our bodies in bright, whispy clouds of vividly-colored gas.
Imagine how this could potentially cause untold changes in our entire civilization, ...[text shortened]... y the color of their farts.
What do you think would happen if farts were suddenly visible?
14 Feb 08
Originally posted by Derfel CadarnFarting permeates our entire existence. It's the elephant in the room that nobody wants to talk about. A perfect example is the elevator. Have you ever been on a crowded elevator when somebody erroneously thought that they could slip out an SBD? Now, nobody confronts anybody else because of the concept of plausible deniability. In a world where farts took on colour, this would not be possible.
Cropdusting someone would be a hell of a lot funnier.
Our automotive culture would come to an end. Nobody would be able to drive an auto with the windows rolled up. The windows on any form of mass transit would, within a matter of moments of being occupied by more than a few people, would either turn white or black from all of the different colors.
Everybody would probably switch to bicycles and motorcycles, which would be a vast economic and environmental improvement over our lust for SUV's.
Compact cars would probably be the first victims: too little space for too little breathable and visible air.
You would have to buy new furniture and clothes to match the colour of your funk. The truly neurotic would also paint the interior of their houses the same colour so that the cloud would be camoflauged. Oh, of course hosts and hostesses would tell their guests that the colour is fashionable this year, but every would know the real reason.
Imagine that you work in a cubicle farm on the the 27th floor of some soul-less glass and steel tower. You stand up to stretch your legs and look out across the production pasture only to see a methane cloud emerging from that hot blonde in accounting's cubicle.
We would have another reason to hate each other. There would be discrimination based on the colour of your emanations, well certainly in this forum anyway! The mass of people producing little green clouds would no longer trust their neighbors the PFC who produce purple.
Can you imagine going to the swimming pool and watching the little bubbles explode on the surface? I can hear the young children's giggles as these tiny mushroom clouds break the surface. I can also hear the lifeguard's whistle and their pimply voices screeching out "Sir, stop farting in the pool."
American jurisprudence would come to an end. Judges would lose all credibility after they floated the first air biscuit. Seriously, Can't you just see the whole nation laughing the first time the TV cameras caught Lance Ito squeezing out one? Consider what would have happened had OJ did an SBD as he tried to pull on that too small glove. Can't you just see Johnny Cochrane rolling on the floor the first time that a burgundy cloud floated up from the front and back of Marcia Clark's mini-skirt?
Lastly, A whole new industry would emerge: food additives whose sole purpose would be to try to either make your gas a specific colour or promise you clear/invisible farts. Suddenly, Salsa Verde and Salsa Rojo take on whole different meanings. 😛😛
14 Feb 08
Originally posted by mikelomHowever, considering no other creature on the planet (with the exception of a dog we once owned) cares about farting, like humans do.
Farting permeates our entire existence. It's the elephant in the room that nobody wants to talk about. A perfect example is the elevator. Have you ever been on a crowded elevator when somebody erroneously thought that they could slip out an SBD? Now, nobody confronts anybody else because of the concept of plausible deniability. In a world where farts took on ...[text shortened]... ble farts. Suddenly, Salsa Verde and Salsa Rojo take on whole different meanings. 😛😛
I can only imagine it's a nurtured thing.
Besides, it would be much easier to catch your fart in a bottle for later mischief.