and then I figured out why. Was just going to write this down then I
realized what a revalation it was and I thought I would share it with
you all.
In the Northwest it doesn't get really all that hot..not like what I am
used to in SC...but it does get uncomfortable. And that is why I guess
the idiots over at GE decided to create the "Oscillating Fan"...I hope all
know what this damn thing is. It it an upright fan that moves back and
forth and provides air throughout the room instead in just one
place...as did all the crap fans I had as a kid. But let's think about
this modern day version of the Chinese Water Torture for a sec.
You get it running in the bedroom say 30 minutes before you decide
to pack it in to cool off the room...and then ya hop in bed. Now things
are feeling good and get under the covers....now I hear ya
asking "Dave if it is so hot...why are you under the covers?"
Well...I don't know...they provide me with security...i feel safe...like
that little warped kid Linus from the "Peanuts" cartoon strip that had
to have his blanky because his parents probably gave him a complex
for wetting the bed or picking his nose or sucking on his
thumb....ok...back to this fan.
So you are there under the covers with your head and maybe an arm
and shoulder out...and at first it is great...cool breeze hitting you
every so often...THEN...you start waiting for it...you can hear the motor
running...you know it's coming..and then finally..ahhhh there it
is...and this goes on for about 30 minutes untill you start to drift off to
sleep...and THEN...the ahhhhh feeling subsides...and now it starts to
keep you awake...every time you start to doze off...Whooooosh..a
blast of air hits you...you try to hide your face...but you can still feel
it...and it keeps happening over and over and just when think you
have it timed right...it tricks you and finally you jump up and smash
the damn thing against the wall waking up the wife who screams...
"What in the hell are you doing?"
To which you reply...
"Trying to figure out why this damn thing is broken"
Hehehehehe.....please no lunacy comments....just wanted to try that
out on you guys before I used it in my next stand up act.
Dave
Captain USA
I have oscillating fans downstairs but ceiling fans in my bedrooms
upstairs. I never run the things anyway - the breeze just bothers me I
think. Even so, I couldn't sleep so its 3:30 in the morning and I
decided to get up sac a knight. If the combination works it will be
marvelous. Sometimes I think the key to chess really *is* knowing
when to push the f-pawn.
Of course I do John...you can't survive down there without at least a
window unit! You end up doing some crotch pot cooking lt me tell ya!
The whole little story was just supposed to be amusing...I guess a
visual act upon it would have worked better.
I do stand up...not comedy writing.
Dave
Captain USA
OK, Dave, you're getting a little intense. You're reminding me of
Nicolson in The Shining. Reframe your thoughts. Oscillating, like the
ocean waves, ebb and flow of life, the tides, you are getting sleepy.
Oscillating, to and fro, like the strategy of a good game, back and
forth, you are getting sleepy...........Feel the cool breeze and be glad
you're not in SC. HOpe it helps. Kirk