@drewnogal saidIn fact I think that "public shaming" is not the way to go.
My PM’s are for private chat with people I like.
Weirdos are not welcome and I don’t care what fancy chess rating they have!
* People who send creepy messages probably are not easily shamed.
* People seinding the offending PM might not read the forums.
* Shamed people most probably won't repkly anyway. So any public question on an online Froum is ueselss.
As some poeple already suggested the Site Administration is the correct partner here.
@ponderable saidMaybe forum discussion is a good way to stop the issue being pushed underground. If a woman on a chess site receives creepy PMs as standard, that is probably symptomatic of a wider problem that needs discussion at many levels. It is something that society appears not to deal with effectively, the virtual world appears not to deal with effectively and yet this site has to figure out how to deal with it. It definitely needs airing in the forums in my opinion.
In fact I think that "public shaming" is not the way to go.
* People who send creepy messages probably are not easily shamed.
* People seinding the offending PM might not read the forums.
* Shamed people most probably won't repkly anyway. So any public question on an online Froum is ueselss.
As some poeple already suggested the Site Administration is the correct partner here.
@relentless-red saidOh indeed the problem can be discussed.
Maybe forum discussion is a good way to stop the issue being pushed underground. If a woman on a chess site receives creepy PMs as standard, that is probably symptomatic of a wider problem that needs discussion at many levels. It is something that society appears not to deal with effectively, the virtual world appears not to deal with effectively and yet this site has to figure out how to deal with it. It definitely needs airing in the forums in my opinion.
My point was that I think "A" won't reply. If "A" did reply it would most probably become unsavoury. So the concrete case is to be handled by the Site.
The general problem can be discussed. I fear however that the discussion won't be fruitful... (I hope most people agree that no creepy messages should be sent by anyone to anyone (conesenting adults excepted). )
@ponderable saidThat's the curious paradox. You would anticipate that there would simply be agreement and yet it goes on widely without much fear of consequences and the person who speaks out often goes on to experience a debate in which they start to feel that they did something wrong. It's a recurrent pattern.
Oh indeed the problem can be discussed.
My point was that I think "A" won't reply. If "A" did reply it would most probably become unsavoury. So the concrete case is to be handled by the Site.
The general problem can be discussed. I fear however that the discussion won't be fruitful... (I hope most people agree that no creepy messages should be sent by anyone to anyone (conesenting adults excepted). )
@relentless-red saidIt goes around and comes around, though. I've only ever gotten maybe 9 or 10 creepy PMs the whole time I've been here, and those in bunches of 2 or 3. What I get more of is hateful PMs, how my parents did a crappy job of raising me, and such. The word bitch gets thrown around, but hey, I've been called the c-word to my face, mostly by drunken guys, so bitch doesn't exactly bother me too much.
That's the curious paradox. You would anticipate that there would simply be agreement and yet it goes on widely without much fear of consequences and the person who speaks out often goes on to experience a debate in which they start to feel that they did something wrong. It's a recurrent pattern.
@relentless-red saidThe consequence for the offender should be a ban.
That's the curious paradox. You would anticipate that there would simply be agreement and yet it goes on widely without much fear of consequences and the person who speaks out often goes on to experience a debate in which they start to feel that they did something wrong. It's a recurrent pattern.
It can also be made public that people are banned for harrasment (Has been done in the past).
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Many years ago a feature was added here to take care of "creepy PM's".
It was originally called the "IGNORE LIST".
It was recently renamed and now is called "BLOCKED PLAYERS".
Here is the description: "Blocked players will not be able to send you messages, challenges, or accept your open invites."
I haven't used it but I think it would nicely takes care of unwanted private messages.
@suzianne saidThose are absolutely terrible words to say to anybody, totally unacceptable.
It goes around and comes around, though. I've only ever gotten maybe 9 or 10 creepy PMs the whole time I've been here, and those in bunches of 2 or 3. What I get more of is hateful PMs, how my parents did a crappy job of raising me, and such. The word bitch gets thrown around, but hey, I've been called the c-word to my face, mostly by drunken guys, so bitch doesn't exactly bother me too much.
@ghost-of-a-duke said... and some creep picked it up perhaps?
I once dropped a crepe on the Champs Elysees.
True story.
@kewpie saidCreep - A word used, usually as an insult, on someone who's personality or overall behaviour is strange or weird.
If someone sent me a creepy PM I'd name them in the forum and if they didn't justify their PM I'd publish the content of the creepy PM as well. Self-defence is not a crime.
My use of calling someone a creep may differ to that of yourself. In this case it was because of someone initiating a conversation in a friendly demeanour in a PM to me and then today suddenly targeting me in the general forum in a malicious manner and trying to cause some antagonism with another player here. I get the impression he’s resentful about something and now when I reread his PM I see it as sarcasm. He had the chance to explain himself here but chose not to so I consider he’s someone resentful who was recently banned. I’m not going to be bullied off the GF by this creep.
@drewnogal saidYou most certainly will not, Drew. 😍
Creep - A word used, usually as an insult, on someone who's personality or overall behaviour is strange or weird.
My use of calling someone a creep may differ to that of yourself. In this case it was because of someone initiating a conversation in a friendly demeanour in a PM to me and then today suddenly targeting me in the general forum in a malicious manner and trying ...[text shortened]... e’s someone resentful who was recently banned. I’m not going to be bullied off the GF by this creep.