Anybody ever checked out the dialectizer?
http://rinkworks.com/dialect/
It translates text, web pages etc, into the dialect of your choice. Check out Shavixmir's latest post dialectized to "Jive":
29 Jun '05 12:46 :: 0 recommendashuns I presume everyone gots heard uh de term "Champaign socialism". Well, afta' spendin' some lubricated weekend uh hangovers, I've decided t'betta' my life and feed da bud fresh fruit instead. I plan t'continue dis lifestyle until de weekend. Dat's 2 mo'e days uh sobriety! Right on! To celebrate dis new healdy lifestyle I've snatchn some picture uh my dinna' of dis evenin' along wid de scribblin' ah' am currently re-readin'. Obviously de artistic merits uh de photograph is somewhut lackin', but dere be a subtle irony t'de pic. Co' got d' beat! You's see, dig dis: De pineapples is from Del Monte. Dat's part uh de "United Fruits" multi-nashunal. Dey've co'nered da damn fruit market in Soud and Central America. WORD! Most fruit farmers now gots'ta wo'k fo' dem and dig paid real little fo' deir effo'ts. Europe dun did subsidise smalla' fruit farmers until some few years ago, givin' dem decent wo'kin' condishuns and no'mal wages. But da damn WTO (wo'ld trade o'ganisashun) ruled in United Fruits' favour and now mah' pineapples smell uh slavery. Slap mah fro! De melon be from Israel. Israel saps de life (booze) out uh de region t'keep producin' deir fruits. De farmers who initially farmed in Israel used some tricklin' system t'preserve da damn eco-system. WORD! But dey only managed t'produce enough t'get by demselves. Hardly funky considerin' de climate in de Middle-East. Man! A'cuz uh de amount uh booze bein' used by Israel, de Wasted Sea be shrinkin' at an alarmin' rate. Duzn't wo'ry about dat dough. Lop some boogie. It's wasted anyway. Slap mah fro! Mah' Strawberries is Dutch. Lop some boogie. Dey're picked by illegal wo'kers (illegal immigrants fum de fo'ma' Soviet countries and 'es-refugees who is not goin' t'get some puh'mit). De farmers is willin' t'snatch de risk uh bein' caught, cuz' dey kin pay illegal wo'kers half uh whut de minimum wage is, if dey employed legal wo'kers. De illegal wo'kers kin hardly dig by, but is pleased dat dey is gettin' some income. De Farmers is happy cuz' dey increase deir profit margins. De Dutch consuma' is happy, cuz' a) dey duzn't wanna do dat job anyway and b) dey dig deir strawberries cheapuh' And da damn Dutch guv'ment be happy cuz' dey've met deir targets uh "removin' illegal sucka's fum de system". Aldough it sounds likes some fantastic fairy tale, de illegal immigrants is not insho' mand and deir kids duzn't go t'farm. Yummy! Right on!
and this is it in Redneck:
ah presoom ev'ryone has heard of th' term "Champaign socialism".
Wal, af'er spendin' a lubricated weekend of hangovahs, I've decided t'better mah life an' ett fresh fruit instead, cuss it all t' tarnation.
ah plan t'continue this hyar lifestyle until th' weekend, cuss it all t' tarnation. Thet's 2 mo'e days of sobriety! Fry mah hide!
To celebrate this hyar noo healthy lifestyle I've taken a pitcher of mah dinner of this hyar evenin' along wif th' book ah's currently re-readin'.
Obviously th' artistic merits of th' photograph is somewhut lackin', but thar is a subtle irony t'th' pic.
Yo' see:
Th' pineapples is fum Del Monte. Thet's part of th' "United Fruits" multi-nashunal, ah reckon. They've co'nered th' fruit market in South an' Central South Car'lina. Most fruit farmers now hafta wawk fo' them an' git paid mighty li'l fo' their effo'ts.
Europe did subsidise smaller fruit farmers until a few years ago, givin' them decent wawkin' corndishuns an' no'mal wages. But th' WTO (wo'ld trade o'ganisashun) ruled in United Fruits' favour an' now mah pineapples smell of slavery.
Th' melon is fum Israel, ah reckon. Israel saps th' life (water) outta th' region t'keep producin' their fruits. Th' farmers who initially farmed in Israel used a tricklin' system t'presarve th' eco-system, dawgone it. But they only managed t'prodooce inough t'git by themselves. Hardly peekoolyar cornsiderin' th' climate in th' Middle-East.
On account o' of th' amount of water bein' used by Israel, th' Daid Sea is shrinkin' at an alarmin' rate.
Don't wo'ry about thet though. It's daid ennyway.
Mah Strawberries is Dutch. They're picked by illegal wawkers (illegal immigrants fum th' fo'mer Soviet countries an' ex-refugees who is not a-gonna git a permit). Th' farmers is willin' t'take th' risk of bein' caught, on account o' they kin pay illegal wawkers ha'f of whut th' minimum wage is, eff'n they employed legal wawkers.
Th' illegal wawkers kin hardly git by, but is pleased thet they is gittin' some income. Th' Farmers is happy on account o' they increase their profit margins. Th' Dutch cornsoomr is happy, on account o'
a) they doesn't be hankerin' t'do thet job ennyway an'
b) they git their strawberries cheaper
An' th' Dutch govment is happy on account o' they've met their targits of "removin' illegal varmints fum th' system".
Although it soun's like a fantastic fairy tale, th' illegal immigrants is not insured an' their kids doesn't hoof it to skoo.
Yummah! Fry mah hide!
hahaha
I'm gonna redneck everything I write from now on!