Dr Bernard Schade charged with rape.

He is the director of the Singing boys of Pennsylvania, at least 20 years.

http://wnep.com/2014/03/27/former-member-of-singing-boys-of-pa-speaks-out/

Our problem: My son Kevin was one of those boys and he got real quiet and asked to quit. After he did, he started showing signs of depression, clinical depression, in and out of therapy for years. We never knew ATT about this abuse Schade has been alleged with. Now we know, at least suspect, since you are innocent till proven guilty.

My son is 33 now and has previously denied any sexual encounter with Schade. Now we are putting two and two together but don't know how to approach Kevin, since he already denied Schade abused him sexually. He was known to be very strict, like a 19th century teacher, spanking and so forth.

The only think I am pinning my hopes on is if Schade is guilty, he was apparently attracted to the older boys, one of whom was 15 while our boy was much younger, 10 or 11.

Any ideas how we could approach Kevin about this extremely delicate subject?

Originally posted by sonhouse
He is the director of the Singing boys of Pennsylvania, at least 20 years.

http://wnep.com/2014/03/27/former-member-of-singing-boys-of-pa-speaks-out/

Our problem: My son Kevin was one of those boys and he got real quiet and asked to quit. After he did, he started showing signs of depression, clinical depression, in and out of therapy for years. We ne ...[text shortened]... nger, 10 or 11.

Any ideas how we could approach Kevin about this extremely delicate subject?

First question: has Kevin fully recovered from his recent hospitalization? Second: Is he still in Rehab?

Originally posted by sonhouse
He is the director of the Singing boys of Pennsylvania, at least 20 years.

http://wnep.com/2014/03/27/former-member-of-singing-boys-of-pa-speaks-out/

Our problem: My son Kevin was one of those boys and he got real quiet and asked to quit. After he did, he started showing signs of depression, clinical depression, in and out of therapy for years. We ne ...[text shortened]... nger, 10 or 11.

Any ideas how we could approach Kevin about this extremely delicate subject?

Just be supportive without necessarily asking questions. Show him the article and say "We think this is what happened to you. We want you to know that we are here for you any time you need our help and support. We won't ask you intrusive questions, but we do hope you'll go to the authorities and add your voice. We hope you understand how much we love you and that it was never your fault."

Originally posted by Grampy Bobby
First question: has Kevin fully recovered from his recent hospitalization? Second: Is he still in Rehab?

Original post by Subscriber sonhouse, 05 Jun '14
Another medical crisis in my family. Thread 159562
"My son Troy...."

sonhouse, my error in associating Kevin with the incident which occurred
in early June of this year to Troy. I concur with Sahuaro's suggestions.

Originally posted by Grampy Bobby
Original post by Subscriber sonhouse, 05 Jun '14
Another medical crisis in my family. Thread 159562
"My son Troy...."

sonhouse, my error in associating Kevin with the incident which occurred
in early June of this year to Troy. I concur with Sahuaro's suggestions.

To sonhouse: Still, GB's point is a good one. I know you say he already denied anything happened to him, but has Kevin ever been to therapy, either for this time period or others? Has he shown signs of unresolved past issues? I know it can be hard to tell, but it might be a starting point for inquiry.

Also, you know your son better than we do, you'd have a better handle on how best to approach the issue, all we'd have are guesses.

Sahauro's suggestion shows a caring attitude that could help cut through any defences over the issue.

I think you should not be divulging this kind of personal information (also with regards to the privacy of your son) and asking this question on an internet message board, where you will get advice from all kinds of people, most of whom mean very well but are not trained in this kind of subject at all. I’m sure there professional people also in America that can give you much better advice. Maybe start with having a talk with your doctor, I’m sure he can recommend you to some people

Originally posted by Great King Rat
I think you should not be divulging this kind of personal information (also with regards to the privacy of your son) and asking this question on an internet message board, where you will get advice from all kinds of people, most of whom mean very well but are not trained in this kind of subject at all. I’m sure there professional people also in Americ ...[text shortened]... e. Maybe start with having a talk with your doctor, I’m sure he can recommend you to some people

Good, claim no one can give advice, then give some advice. Brilliant.

Originally posted by Grampy Bobby
Original post by Subscriber sonhouse, 05 Jun '14
Another medical crisis in my family. Thread 159562
"My son Troy...."

sonhouse, my error in associating Kevin with the incident which occurred
in early June of this year to Troy. I concur with Sahuaro's suggestions.

Yes, another son. K is struggling with depression to this day, we are just tying to figure out if being with Schade was the cause. All this information I just mentioned is already out there by now anyway, I am not saying anything new. The FBI already came to our house in their investigation of Schade so our predicament is already well documented.

Originally posted by Suzianne
Good, claim no one can give advice, then give some advice. Brilliant.

Sorry, I think you are badly wrong on this one.

This is an issue where people with experience in dealing with these matters should be the first port of call, with the benefit of all the facts to hand, clinical history etc.

GKR didn't say that no one can here could give advice. He said that most of us would have no experience of dealing with these issues. He is almost certainly right in this and his advice was spot on.

Sonhouse - it must be an awful position to be in, and I hope you will find a way through this with the right help.

Originally posted by sonhouse
Yes, another son. K is struggling with depression to this day, we are just tying to figure out if being with Schade was the cause. All this information I just mentioned is already out there by now anyway, I am not saying anything new. The FBI already came to our house in their investigation of Schade so our predicament is already well documented.

Originally posted by FreakyKBH Thread 159562
"I know my choice of sentiments are against your convictions, brother, but my prayers are with Troy, you and your family."

Originally posted by Grampy Bobby 05 Jun '14 20:46
"sonhouse, I share Freaky's honest sentiments and will also pray for Troy and your family."

And will continue with both of your sons included.

Originally posted by Grampy Bobby
Originally posted by FreakyKBH Thread 159562
"I know my choice of sentiments are against your convictions, brother, but my prayers are with Troy, you and your family."

Originally posted by Grampy Bobby 05 Jun '14 20:46
"sonhouse, I share Freaky's honest sentiments and will also pray for Troy and your family."

And will continue with both of your sons included.

Ok, all, thanks for the various advices. Will keep you posted.