In light of jimrulz "How to get a girl" thread, I was wondering if anyone had any embarassing stories about something that happened while they were coming on to some girl....... *sigh* I have one, sadly...
During lunch in high school I would always hang out outside the cafeteria with my buds, and there was this Spanish girl Kristina that I had heard from a friend of hers thought I was cute, so of course I had to make my move.... *sigh* Well, on this day I was very sick. I sounded like that kid from the Brady Bunch that was going through puberty, and I had a wicked fever, and of course, my nose was all stuffed. But, being the genius that I am, I figure I could find a way to incorperate my sickness into the convo... and maybe get a little sympathy. (hey, you gotta be a con artist with these girls!) So anyway, around the end of lunch I walk over to her and originally start talking to our mutual friend (had to ease my way in), and eventually we caught each other's eye and I smiled and said hi. She sort of blushed and said hi as well, and I instantly thought "Booyah, blushing! I'm in!"... We talk for about thirty seconds, I forget what we were talking about, but I recall that I was about to say something about the skirt she was wearing at the time when suddenly my nose decided to unstuff itself... and juicy, grass-green snot dripped immediately all down my lips and chin! 😳 She instantly screamed out "OH MY GOD! EW!" and her friend turned and yelled out "What?! What?! OH MY GOD! THAT'S SICK, KEVIN!"... and this of course led to more people turning around and looking in our direction, while I disregarded my poor sweater and wiped my nose/lips/chin furiously (somehow avoiding the instant reflex of licking one's lips when this happens...can only imagine how worse that would've made things)...... Anyways, being Mr. Cool of course, I tried to laugh it off (I later heard from the mutual friend that my face was brick red, which I'm sure complimented the green...), as I slowly walked away back to my buds, who kept asking what the hell happened, and I eventually broke it to them and they of course found it hilarious and didn't let go of it for a good week or so.... But yeah, I talked to Kristina once more, a few days later, and it seemed like she could barely look at me, lol. I could come up with a really bad pun for "I blew it", but meh....
Anyone else got one to share?
-Kev
I was once at a summer barbecue with a group of friends and extended friends. The afternoon was a lot of fun, we played softball and being the cricketer I am, I pretty much whacked everyone around the park and my team won. So, major kudos to me and since the beer's flowin, one of my team mates, whose name I have now forgotten and who at the time was pretty much unknown to me, starts chatting with me. She's about 5'6" blonde, nice tan and swishy dress, in a word cute. The thing is, she's wearing sunglasses (the reflective type) and I have yet to see her eyes. Anyway, we're getting on well and I'm starting to think, cool, this is alright. A few beers later and we're at the 'take a walk away from the others as the sun is going down' stage and lo and behold we reach the making out stage. All's well and good, but she has yet to take off her sunglasses so I reach up to her face and gently remove them...
Well, she's got a lazy eye. I kid you not. Now this wouldn't normally make a difference to me, I'm not a man repressed by the perfectitudes of the human body, but on this occasion, since it came as such a surprise and since I'd had a few beers, before I knew it a single phrase escaped my lips. A phrase which Freud himself would have been proud of. "Aye aye aye!" I said, which she of course heard as "Eye eye eye!" which of course meant that I got, first a "what?" and then a slap and then a lonely walk back home. Sigh, the worst bit was the reception I got from most of my friends that knew her, I went into hiding for much of the rest of the month.
How not to get a girl....
I like wrestling. Yes, the fake stuff on TV. So I'm walking in the cafeteria with one of my friends when he starts calling out that he's gonna do a wrestling move to me. I reach back to punch him and elbow this lil hottie right in the nose. She starts crying, and maybe I could've made things a little better by asking if she was ok or something like that, but ya know what I did? I laughed at her. GAH! I beat myself up over that everyday....
Not exactly a come-on, but a flirty situation ending in embarressment and tradegy none the less! Doesn't actually involve me, I was just a spectator but it does involve my girlfriend...
I was enjoying the blazing sun down at the beer garden of a riverside pub enjoying a few Sunday afternoon drinks with my girlfriend. The pub we were at is actually an old converted lock-keepers house so has a small dock and harbour perfect for launching small boats and then sailing merrily down the river. Now, I live in Exeter, a University city infamous for being full of rich, poncy, inbred morons that are too stupid to get into Oxford and Cambridge Uni's. This unfortunately means that they all think they are sailors and on a nice hot day, these people will swarm down to the pub like flies on s**t with their 'chums' to launch the 4 man racing rowboats that 'daddy bought for them.' Now usually, the sight of these poeple waddling about in their poorly fitting spandex/lycra suits is comical enough, but that day was different! A posh couple came down all suited up with their 2 man racing rowboat. They, dropped their boat in the river and the man sorted out the oars while the woman moored the boat to the dock. At this point, I had finished my drink and it was my girlfriends round. Being a hot sunny day, my lady was all kitted out in her usual mini-skirt and tight fitting, revealing top... quite a good bit of eye candy! She bent down to get her purse out of her bag and I looked over at the posh guy sho had picked up the oars and was now transfixed on my girlfriends posterier. I pointed it out to my girlf and she winked at me and whispered back "Watch this..." She got up and started walking back towards the bar. While sauntering along she turned to the posh guy still watching her, lowered her sun glasses and blew a pouted kiss at him. Unfortunately, you could see the bulge in his lycra shorts. He carried on watching as she disappeared into the bar, still holding the oars up still turning around to watch her. At this point posh woman stood up, turned to tell her post man that she'd finished only to see 2 things: firstly him eyeing up another woman and secondly a large racing oar about 2 inches from her face! SMACK! SPLOOSH Oar in face, woman in river. I swear it took me about 30 minutes to stop laughing as he dragged his girlfriend out of the river and she stood there dripping wet screaming and slapping the crap out of him! She stormed off just as my girlfriend came back with the drinks. Thankfully a guy on the table behind us explained why I was double up in stitches, laughing my head off as posh guy dragged oars and boat out of the river on his own.
Originally posted by Daemon SinLOL! That's great. *applauds* Very, very nice. 😀
Not exactly a come-on, but a flirty situation ending in embarressment and tradegy none the less! Doesn't actually involve me, I was just a spectator but it does involve my girlfriend...
I was enjoying the blazing sun down at the beer garden of a riverside pub enjoying a few Sunday afternoon drinks with my girlfriend. The pub we were at is actually an ...[text shortened]... in stitches, laughing my head off as posh guy dragged oars and boat out of the river on his own.