Everything you wanted to know about chess openings but you chickenned out to ask

Everything you wanted to know about chess openings but you chickenned out to ask

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Joined
10 Dec 11
Moves
143494
07 May 12

A parody – Everything you wanted to know about chess openings but you chickenned out to ask

hello, children this is lesson Number 1


free chess lesson, the opening.



in conclusion, the goals are really simple and easy peasy,

1. we develop our physical abbilities (intelectual only if we can)
2. we connect with other chess playera (avoiding our relatives)
3. we get married (and divorced)

to help us

1. we support our children only up to they’re 18
2. we develop the least active part of bodies
3. we try to climbe the social hierarchy and achieve maximum activity

these things may seem simple but i can show you zillions of games where these
principles are violated to the detriment of the player who neglected them! Anyhow,
if you got anything out of this, or have any questions, no matter how trivial, let me
know, regards


But, but … there was a misterious guy in the audience, who carefylly listenede everything the lecturer had said. And he said…
“Well, errr, I think Sicilian defence is not good opening for the beginners …”
“Said who?!”
“Botvinnik.”
“Stalinistic pig, state supported grandmaster, because he had been working for Soviet government…!”

Etc.

Joined
14 Mar 04
Moves
178424
07 May 12

I'm a heart surgeon and I misread the word chess for chest.😠

C
Cowboy From Hell

American West

Joined
19 Apr 10
Moves
55013
07 May 12
2 edits

Originally posted by vandervelde
A parody – Everything you wanted to know about chess openings but you chickenned out to ask

[b]hello, children this is lesson Number 1


free chess lesson, the opening.

[pgn][Event "free game between grandfather and a grandson"] [Site "Park in your city"] [Date "any date] [Round "xxx"] [White "Grandson"] [Black "Granddaddy"] [Result "gues ...[text shortened]... ported grandmaster, because he had been working for Soviet government…!”

Etc.
[/b]
Pretty good, but you need to be wearing a dress, use awkward unintelligible phrases, and bump up the bitchiness.

rc

Joined
26 Aug 07
Moves
38239
07 May 12
4 edits

Originally posted by vanderveld



free chess lesson, the opening.

[pgn][Event "free game between grandfather and a grandson"] [Site "Park in your city"] [Date "any date] [Round "xxx"] [White "Grandson"] [Black "Granddaddy"] [Result "gues pported grandmaster, because he had been working for Soviet government…!”

Etc
ah fame at last! I realise that plagiarism is the highest form of compliment that one
can pay to a great artist like myself and I thank you for it, ill be signing copies of my
latest DVD in the foyer, Confessions of chesspraxis, a guide to sandbagging revealed!
directors cut, which i dedicate to the memory of Vince and GB.

Joined
10 Dec 11
Moves
143494
07 May 12

Originally posted by ChessPraxis
Pretty good, but you 1. need to be wearing a dress,
2. use awkward unintelligible phrases, and
3. bump up the bitchiness.
1. concerning dress - I am wearing a dress, but this site doesn't support webcams:
check me here nevertheless

http://cdn.fashionista.com/uploads/2011/06/Iggy-Pop-With-A-Dior-Handbag.jpeg?9d7bd4

2. God is my witness that I did use ludicrously opaque language and the bunch of gibberish phrases, that no professor of deconstructivism would be ashamed of, but the bloody Google-translate sanitized my post

3. I vowed to be nice ... this week

rc

Joined
26 Aug 07
Moves
38239
08 May 12
1 edit

Originally posted by vandervelde
1. concerning dress - I am wearing a dress, but this site doesn't support webcams:
check me here nevertheless

http://cdn.fashionista.com/uploads/2011/06/Iggy-Pop-With-A-Dior-Handbag.jpeg?9d7bd4

2. God is my witness that I did use ludicrously opaque language and the bunch of gibberish phrases, that no professor of deconstructivism would be ashamed of, but the bloody Google-translate sanitized my post

3. I vowed to be nice ... this week
such conceptual art is too great for the ingrates of the general forum, here they prefer
sandwich recipes and glib one liners and to silence all great artists like Vince and GB.

Misfit Queen

Isle of Misfit Toys

Joined
08 Aug 03
Moves
36841
12 May 12

Still waiting for the fulfillment of the promise in the thread title...

Joined
10 Dec 11
Moves
143494
14 May 12

Originally posted by Suzianne
Still waiting for the fulfillment of the promise in the thread title...
You should read the [b[commentary[/b] for this game; anyway it is to be continued. 😉