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  1. Account suspended
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    25 May '15 06:41
    Or braking winds or gas.
    This thread is spin off of yet-to-be-posted thread from an OTB turnament.

    Does a farting player should apologize or pretend he doesn't know what's going on?
    Does gas-attacked player have right to complain to referee?
  2. Joined
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    25 May '15 08:22
    Originally posted by vandervelde
    Or braking winds or gas.
    This thread is spin off of yet-to-be-posted thread from an OTB turnament.

    Does a farting player should apologize or pretend he doesn't know what's going on?
    Does gas-attacked player have right to complain to referee?
    War is war, looser!
  3. Standard memberChessPraxis
    Cowboy From Hell
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    25 May '15 15:16
    Originally posted by vandervelde
    Or braking winds or gas.
    This thread is spin off of yet-to-be-posted thread from an OTB turnament.

    Does a farting player should apologize or pretend he doesn't know what's going on?
    Does gas-attacked player have right to complain to referee?
    One time I was slated to play a fellow at the club, let's call him Garlic Breath. He would breathe out deeply in the direction of your face during the entire game. It was like being held captive in the dry aging room at a salami factory.
    I ate huge amounts of Taco Bell, mostly beans and bean burritos the day before our match. I won the game and more importantly HE complained about me. lololol
  4. SubscriberVery Rusty
    Treat Everyone Equal
    Halifax, Nova Scotia
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    27 May '15 20:10
    Originally posted by ChessPraxis
    One time I was slated to play a fellow at the club, let's call him Garlic Breath. He would breathe out deeply in the direction of your face during the entire game. It was like being held captive in the dry aging room at a salami factory.
    I ate huge amounts of Taco Bell, mostly beans and bean burritos the day before our match. I won the game and more importantly HE complained about me. lololol
    Got to love Karma!~
  5. In the ****
    Joined
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    27 May '15 20:44
    Originally posted by ChessPraxis
    One time I was slated to play a fellow at the club, let's call him Garlic Breath. He would breathe out deeply in the direction of your face during the entire game. It was like being held captive in the dry aging room at a salami factory.
    I ate huge amounts of Taco Bell, mostly beans and bean burritos the day before our match. I won the game and more importantly HE complained about me. lololol
    lol I can so identify with this! Going slightly off subject I once played a guy who sat on the back of his chair (I mean up on the back rest) with his feet on the seat! I pretended not to notice and it was most unfortunate that when I stretched out my leg it just happened to catch the leg of his chair and he tumbled backwards with a great crash. Fortunately he was not physically injured but I don'y think he tried it again!

    PS I won the game
  6. In your face
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    27 May '15 20:467 edits
    Originally posted by vandervelde
    Or braking winds or gas.
    This thread is spin off of yet-to-be-posted thread from an OTB turnament.

    Does a farting player should apologize or pretend he doesn't know what's going on?
    Does gas-attacked player have right to complain to referee?
    Pawn fart: A little poof that only effects people in the immediate vicinity. Can affect the largest of people though, despite its size.
    Knight fart: Seems to miss one person and effects the next, leading the first to smell it to believe it was the person it bypassed who did the deed.
    Bishop fart: Goes from one corner of a room to another in one fell swoop, affecting anyone stood in its line.
    Rook fart: Full bodied and full on. Really meaty but can't travel far unless in an empty room.
    Queen fart: Also known as an SBD or a vindaloo fart. Explodes in all directions, maiming all those in nose shot of it. Cries of 'Dirty b******d' are often heard from the other side of the room, within half a second of release.
    King fart: Again explodes in all directions but not very far. People close by are seriously affected due to liquid matter accompaniment in pants. You are best off leaving after letting one of these go; Game over.
  7. Standard memberKellyJay
    Walk your Faith
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    28 May '15 06:56
    Originally posted by vandervelde
    Or braking winds or gas.
    This thread is spin off of yet-to-be-posted thread from an OTB turnament.

    Does a farting player should apologize or pretend he doesn't know what's going on?
    Does gas-attacked player have right to complain to referee?
    A friend of mine years ago lent me a book "Underhanded chess", which he didn't need
    since he was light years better than me. It was filled with funny things to do to screw up
    the other player's mind.

    I remember a couple, the funniest to me was before the other player comes to your home
    to play you, take you chess set out and dap very lightly syrup on the pieces, not enough
    to see only feel. At a crucial point in the game after they have been moving and feeling
    the syrup, tell them that your kids threw up pancakes on the set and you were sure you
    got it all off.
    🙂
  8. Account suspended
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    28 May '15 07:53
    Similar to farthing and a variation of bed breadth is nicotine breath. Smokers that use cigarette breaks during the game must smoke fast and deep (like people on bus stops when they see their bus is coming), and that breath is awful. And when they cough at you in addition.

    ...
    "Accidental" kicking your feet under the table.
    ...
  9. Standard memberChessPraxis
    Cowboy From Hell
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    28 May '15 21:02
    Originally posted by KellyJay
    A friend of mine years ago lent me a book "Underhanded chess", which he didn't need
    since he was light years better than me. It was filled with funny things to do to screw up
    the other player's mind.

    I remember a couple, the funniest to me was before the other player comes to your home
    to play you, take you chess set out and dap very lightly syrup on ...[text shortened]... ell them that your kids threw up pancakes on the set and you were sure you
    got it all off.
    🙂
    One of my earliest books. Forgot about the book, I must have remembered the contents. Thanks Kelly 🙂
  10. SubscriberSuzianne
    Misfit Queen
    Isle of Misfit Toys
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    28 May '15 21:06
    Originally posted by vandervelde
    Or braking winds or gas.
    This thread is spin off of yet-to-be-posted thread from an OTB turnament.

    Does a farting player should apologize or pretend he doesn't know what's going on?
    Does gas-attacked player have right to complain to referee?
    One method to handle this:

    1. Make a show of sniffing the air.
    2. Act like you're going to retch and then look at him in horror and run screaming from the room.
    3. Come back in after five minutes, wearing a gas mask. Glare at him angrily through the rest of the game.
  11. Arch Stantons Grave
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    28 May '15 21:33
    I have survived mustard gas and pepper spray.
    Suppose I am a seasoned veteran.
  12. Standard memberChessPraxis
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    29 May '15 06:49
    Originally posted by Suzianne
    One method to handle this:

    1. Make a show of sniffing the air.
    Don't breathe so deep, then there will be enough for everybody. 😛
  13. Standard memberKellyJay
    Walk your Faith
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    29 May '15 07:471 edit
    Originally posted by Suzianne
    One method to handle this:

    1. Make a show of sniffing the air.
    2. Act like you're going to retch and then look at him in horror and run screaming from the room.
    3. Come back in after five minutes, wearing a gas mask. Glare at him angrily through the rest of the game.
    You forgot the part about knocking over the board if you were in losing position as you leave. 🙂
  14. Standard memberKellyJay
    Walk your Faith
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    29 May '15 07:51
    Originally posted by Sicilian Sausage
    Pawn fart: A little poof that only effects people in the immediate vicinity. Can affect the largest of people though, despite its size.
    Knight fart: Seems to miss one person and effects the next, leading the first to smell it to believe it was the person it bypassed who did the deed.
    Bishop fart: Goes from one corner of a room to another in one fe ...[text shortened]... atter accompaniment in pants. You are best off leaving after letting one of these go; Game over.
    The mate fart, where the paint comes off the wall, flesh off the bones, and well that's just
    the start of it. 🙂
  15. Standard memberKellyJay
    Walk your Faith
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    29 May '15 07:551 edit
    Originally posted by Suzianne
    One method to handle this:

    1. Make a show of sniffing the air.
    2. Act like you're going to retch and then look at him in horror and run screaming from the room.
    3. Come back in after five minutes, wearing a gas mask. Glare at him angrily through the rest of the game.
    Off subject sort of, but true story!

    Four of my relatives were driving down a country road in the Midwest where my uncle
    yelled "OMG what is that smell!?" He rolls up the windows as does everyone else. As
    everyone was crying over the nasty smell, saying their eyes were burning and a like, my
    uncle broke out laughing, he tricked them all into enjoying one of his farts. 🙂
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