Favorite limericks....

I think mine is one by Pam Ayers.

Two ugly sisters from Fordham,
Went for a walk to beat boredom,
On the way back
A sex maniac,
Jumped out from a bush and ignored 'em.

Anyone care to contribute?? Reasonably clean preferred. 🙂

"There's a notable clan yclept Stein
There's Gertrude, there's Ep and there's Ein
... Gert's poems are bunk
... Ep's statues are junk
And nobody understands Ein."


-Arthur H. R. Buller (1874-1944)

Originally posted by muppyman
I think mine is one by Pam Ayers.

Two ugly sisters from Fordham,
Went for a walk to beat boredom,
On the way back
A sex maniac,
Jumped out from a bush and ignored 'em.

Anyone care to contribute?? Reasonably clean preferred. 🙂

Originally posted by Frank Burns
Excellent, unfortunatly the thread has opened itself up to the usual "There once was a man from Nantucket...."

Hoping others can match you and G. Bobby.

I woke up to find an elephant in my pants
How it got there i'll never know

There was a young lady, Tut Tut!
If you thought you were going to read smut
this is just a little rhyme
with a few little lines
that contains absolutely nothing Butt!

- Garrison Keillor, Prairie Home Companion

Originally posted by coquette
There was a young lady, Tut Tut!
If you thought you were going to read smut
this is just a little rhyme
with a few little lines
that contains absolutely nothing Butt!

- Garrison Keillor, Prairie Home Companion

Originally posted by uzless
anyone can cut/paste

do someting original, like taking your shirt off

Originally posted by Grampy Bobby
Perhaps your dumbed down persona failed to realize it... but you

happen to be addressing a lady. There are some things I do abhor.

Thought we reached a truce. Why persist in testing my patience?

There was a young man from Japan,
Who's limericks never would scan,
When asked why this was,
He said "It's because",
"I always try to get as many words on the last line as I possibly can!"

Grumpy, why do you insist on being such an eternal bore.. I took a chance and pulled up one of your threads hoping you might have matured some, but your inane drivel continues to flow.. Don't you get tired of yourself.

My dad told me this one years ago, not dirty or funny but I like it.

There once was a man called Ghandi
Who went in a pub for a shandy
He used his loin cloth
To wipe off the froth
And the barman side "Crikey thats handy!"

And this is a clever last liner;

There once was a lady from Rhyde
Who ate sour apples and died
The apples fermented
Inside the lamented
And made cider inside her insides.

Originally posted by CauselessOne
There was a young man from Japan,
Who's limericks never would scan,
When asked why this was,
He said "It's because",
"I always try to get as many words on the last line as I possibly can!"

Originally posted by Evil Pawn 666
Grumpy, why do you insist on being such an eternal bore.. I took a chance and pulled up one of your threads hoping you might have matured some, but your inane drivel continues to flow.. Don't you get tired of yourself.

There was a young cannibal, Fred,
Who used to eat onions in bed,
His mother said "Sonny,
That's not very funny,
Why don't you eat people instead?"