Maybe you guys have seen these but I thought them to be very funny(Before having any beer)
I would not be bothered if we lost every game as long as we won the league - Mark Viduka.
If you dont believe you can win there is no point in getting out of bed at the end of the day - Neville Southall
I have had 14 bookings this season-8 of which were my fault but 7 of which were disputable - Paul Cascoigne
I have never wanted to leave.I am here for the rest of my life and hopefully after that as well - Alan Shearer
I'd like to play for an Italian club like Barcelona - Mark Draper
You have got to believe you are going to win and I believe we will win the World Cup until the final whistle blows and we are knocked out - Peter Shilton
Leeds is agreat club and it has been my home for years,even though I live in Middlesborough. - Jonothan Woodgate.
I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel - Stuart Pearce
I couldnt settle in Italy.It was like living in a foreign country - Ian Rush
Germany are a very difficult team to play,they had 11 internationals out there today - Steve Lomas
All that remains is for a few dots and commas to be crossed - Mitchell Thomas
I'd rather play in front of a full house than an empty crowd - Johnny Giles
There is no in between,you are either goo or bad.We were in between - Gary Lineker
Winning doesnt really matter,as long as you win - Vinny Jones
Two Andy Gorams,theres only two Andy Gorams - Kilmarnock fans to the Rangers keeper after he had been diagnosed with mild schizophrenia
I've told the players we need to win so I can have the cash to buy some new ones - Chris Turner,Peterborough manager before LC QF 1992
Thats great tell him he's Pele and get him back on - John Lambie,Patrick Thistle manager,when told a concussed striker did not know who he was.
If you cant stand the heat in the dressing room get out of the kitchen - Terry Venables
I'm not a believer in luck,but I do believe you need it - Alan Ball
Dumbarton player Steve McCahill has limped off with a badly cut forehead - Tom Ferrie
What I said to them at half-time would be unprintable on radio - Gerry Francis
He's one of those footballers whose brains are in his head - Dereck Johnstone,BBC Scotland
If I walked on water my accusers would say it is because I cant swim - Berti Vogts
The score is Sunderland nil,Leicester nil,the temperature is nil and the entertainment value not much above nil - Radio 5 Live
This is an unusual Scotland side because they have good players - Javier Clemente Spanish coach
Moreano thought that the fullback was gonna come up behind him and give him a really hard one - Big Ron
Adams is stretching himself looking for Seamen - Brian Moore
Apart from their goals Norway havent scored - Terry Venables
He never fails to hit the target,but that was a miss - Bobby Robson
Chile have three optins they could win or they could lose - Kevin Keegan
That would have been a goal if the goalkeeper hadnt saved it - Kevin Keegan
A tremendous strike which hit the defender full on the arm and it nearly came off - Kevin Keegan
Zidane is not very happy because he is suffering from the wind - Ron Atkinson
He sliced the ball when he had it on a plate - Ron Atkinson
Unfortunately we keep kicking ourselves in the foot - Ray Wilkins - BBC
Johnson has revelled in thehole"behind Dwight Yorke.... - Carling FA www Page
The lad got all over excited when he saw the whites of the goalpost's eyes - Steve Coppell
Mark Hughes at his very best,he loves to feel people right behind him... - Kevin Keegan
Hope you enjoyed this.I have some on cricket as well.....
- Joined
- 20 Feb 02
- Moves
- 58336
Here are some other sporting quotes:
And here's Moses Kiptanui, the 19 year old Kenyan, who turned 20 a few weeks ago." (David Coleman)
"Its a great advantage to be able to hurdle with both legs" (David Coleman)
"We now have exactly the same situation as we had at the start of the race, only exactly the opposite." (Murray Walker)
After playing Cameroon in the 1990 world cup finals: "We didn't underestimate them. They were just a lot better than we thought." (Bobby Robson)
On the difficulties of adjusting to playing football and living in Italy: "It was like being in a foreign country." (Ian Rush)
Jimmy Hill: "Don't sit on the fence Terry. What chance do you think Germany has of getting through?
Terry Venables: "I think it's 50-50."
"I was in a no-win situation, so I'm glad that I won rather than lost." (Frank Bruno)
"There's going to be a real ding-dong when the bell goes." (David Coleman)
"There is Brendan Foster, by himself, with 20,000 people." (David Coleman)
"The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical." (Murray Walker)
"I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father." (Greg Norman)
"There have been injuries and deaths in boxing, but none of them serious." (Alan Minter)
"Watch the time. It gives you an indication of how fast they are running." (Ron Pickering)
"Just under 10 seconds for Nigel Mansel. Call it 9.5 seconds in round numbers." (Murray Walker)
"A brain Scan revealed that Andrew Caddick is not suffering from stress fracture of the shin." (Jo Sheldon)
"That's inches away from being millimetre perfect." (Ted Lowe)
"I'll fight Lloyd Honeyghan for nothing if the price is right." (Marlon Starling)
"If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again." (Terry Venables)
"I can't tell who's leading. It's either Oxford or Cambridge." (John Snagge - Boat Race between Oxford and Cambridge)
"The Queen's Park Oval, exactly as its name suggests, is absolutely round." (Tony Crozier)
'One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee-shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them -Oh my God, what have I just said?' (U.S. TV commentator.)
'This is a really a lovely horse, I once rode her mother.' (Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator.)
'We now have exactly the same situation as we had at the start of the race, only exactly the opposite.'
(Murray Walker - Formula 1 motor racing commentator.)
'He's pulling him off ! The Spanish manager is pulling his captain off !' (R.T.E.'s George Hamilton on Spain manager Luis Suarez's substitution of Butragueno during their world cup qualifier with Ireland in Seville, 1992.)
'The black players at this club lend the side a lot of skill and flair, but you also need white players in there to balance things up and give the team some brains and some common sense.' (Crystal Palace chairman Ron Noades, speaking in 1991.)
On the difficulties of adjusting to playing football and living in a foreign country: 'It was like being in a foreign country.' (Ian Rush - ex Liverpool and Wales footballer.)
'Bill Frindal has done a bit of mental arithmetic with a calculator.' (John Arlott - cricket commentator.)
'Hodge scored for Forest after 22 seconds - totally against the run of play.' (Peter Lorenzo - football 'pundit'.)
'We actually got the winner three minutes from the end but then they equalized.' (Ian McNail - footballer.)
'I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body.' (Winston Bennett.)
'The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical.' (Murray Walker.)
'Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing- but none of them serious.' (Alan Minter - boxer.)
'The racecourse is as level as a billiard ball.' (John Francombe - jockey.)
'If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again.' (Terry Venables - ex England football team manager.)
'We'll still be happy if we lose. It's on at the same time as the Beer Festival' (Noel O' Mahony, Cork City boss before the game in Munich.)
'I would not say he (David Ginola) is the best left winger in the Premiership, but there are none better.'
(Ron Atkinson - football pundit.)
'He dribbles a lot and the opposition don't like it - you can see it all over their faces.' (Ron Atkinson.)
'I never comment on referees and I'm not going to break the habit of a lifetime for that prat.' (Ron Atkinson.)
'It took a lot of bottle for Tony (Adams) to own up.' (Ian Wright - commenting on his teammate's alcoholism.)
'Ah, isn't that nice, the wife of the Cambridge president is kissing the cox of the Oxford crew.' (Harry Carpenter - BBC TV Boat Race 1977.)
'Morcelli has four fastest 1500-metre times ever. And all those times at 1500 metres.' (David Coleman - athletics commentator.)
'Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field.' (Metro Radio.)
'Her time is about 4.33, which she's capable of.' (David Coleman.)
Dennis Pennis (interviewer): 'Have you ever thought of writing your autobiography ?'
Chris Eubank (boxer) : 'On what ?'
'Well, you gave the horse a wonderful ride, everybody saw that' (Desmond Lynam - (then) BBC commentator.)
'To play Holland, you have to play the Dutch.' (Ruud Gullit - Holland football team manager.)
'Well , either side could win it, or it could be a draw.' (Ron Atkinson.)
'For those of you watching in black and white, Spurs are in the all-yellow strip.' (John Motson.)
'Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air even longer.' (David Acfield - footballer.)
'What will you do when you leave football, Jack - will you stay in football?' (Stuart Hall - Radio 5 live.)
'I'd like to play for an Italian club, like Barcelona.' (Mark Draper - Aston Villa footballer.)
'There goes Juantorena down the back straight, opening his legs and showing his class.' (David Coleman - The Montreal Olympics.)
'And for those of you who watched the last programme (Fanny and Johnny Craddock), I hope all your doughnuts turn out like Fanny's' (David Coleman - at the start of Match of The Day.)
'...and Ray Illingworth is relieving himself in front of the pavilion.' (John Arlott.)
'These greens are so fast they must bikini wax them.' (Gary McCord on the greens at Augusta.)
'If you'd offered me a 69 at the start this morning I'd have been all over you.' (Sam Torrance, [Golfer], BBC2)
'Street hockey is great for kids. It's energetic, competitive, and skilful. And best of all it keeps them off the street.' (Radio 1 Newsbeat)
'It was the fastest-ever swim over that distance on American soil.' (Greg Phillips, Portsmouth News)
'And Nakano tries to avoid being passed by his teammate Trulli, which should in fact be quite easy, because Trulli is going more slowly than his teammate Nakano.' (Murray Walker, ITV)
'A fascinating duel between 3 men...' (David Coleman, Hammer Throw, World Athletics, BBC)
'I'm glad two sides of the cherry have been put forward.' (Geoff Boycott, Radio 5 Live)
'Ian Mackie is here to prove his back injury is behind him.' (Commentator at Spar Athletics)
'Azinger is wearing an all black outfit: black jumper, blue trousers, white shoes and a pink 'tea-cosy' hat.'
(Renton Laidlaw)
'The advantage of the rain is, that if you have a quick bike, there's no advantage.' (Barry Sheene)
'Her legs are kept tightly together: she's giving nothing away.' (Gymnastics commentator, BBC1)
'Moreano thought that the full back was gonna come up behind and give him one really hard.' (Ron Atkinson)
'I wouldn't be surprised if this game went all the way to the finish.' (Ian St John)
'Apart from their goals, Norway haven't scored.' Terry Venables
'The Croatians don't play well without the ball.' (Barry Venison)
'Batistuta is very good at pulling off defenders.' (Kevin Keegan)
'Chile have three options - they could win or they could lose.'(Kevin Keegan)
'I came to Nantes two years ago and it's much the same today, except that it's completely different.' (Kevin Keegan)
'Zidane is not very happy, because he's suffering from the wind.' (Ron Atkinson)
'They've picked their heads up off the ground and they now have a lot to carry on their shoulders.' (Ron Atkinson)
'The swimmers are swimming out of their socks.' (Sharron Davies, BBC)
'In cycling, you can put all your money on one horse.' (Stephen Roche, Eurosport)
'I always used to put my right boot on first, and then obviously my right sock.' (Barry Venison, ITV)
'In life he was a living legend; in death, nothing has changed.' (Live TV)
'Without being too harsh on David, he cost us the match.' (Ian Wright, ITV)
'It's amazing how, in this part of the world, history has been part of its past.' (David Duffy, Eurosport)
'Batistuta gets most of his goals with the ball.' (Ian St John)
'They (Leeds) used to be a bit like Arsenal, winning by one goal to nil - or even less.' (Nasser Hussain, Channel 5)
'So, this movie you star in, The Life Story of George Best, tell us what it's about?' (George Gavin, Sky Sport)
Andrew
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