BECAUSE I'M A MAN
Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car I will
fiddle with a wire long after hypothermia has set in.
Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I
will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what
I'm looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say
to the other, "I used to be able to fix these things, but
now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't,
know where to start." We will then drink beer.
Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to
bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and
moan. You're a woman. You never get as sick as I do, so
for you this isn't a problem.
Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic
groceries at the store, like milk or bread. I cannot be
expected to find exotic items like "cumin" or "tofu." For
all I know, these are the same thing. And never, under any
circumstances, expect me to pick up anything for which
"feminine hygiene product" is a euphemism. (F.Y.I. guys -
“cumin” is a spice)
Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working,
I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this
will just cost me twice as much once the repair person gets
here and has to put it back together.
Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control
in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been
misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it (though
one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator.)
Because I'm a man, I don't think we're all that lost, and no,
I don't think we should stop and ask someone. Why would you
listen to a complete stranger? I mean, how the hell could
he know where we're going?
Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm
thinking about. The answer is always either sex, cars, beer,
or football. I have to make up something else when you ask,
so don't ask.
Because I'm a man, I do not want to visit your mother, or
have your mother come visit us, or talk to her when she
calls, or think about her any more than I have to. Whatever
you got her for Mother's Day is okay; I don't need to see it.
And don't forget to pick up something for my mother, too.
Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the
movie. Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I
didn't.
Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I
thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too.
Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it---
looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just
go now?
Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the year 2005, I
will share equally in the housework. You just do the
laundry, the cooking, the gardening, the cleaning, the
vacuuming, and the dishes. I'll do the rest.
This has been a public service message for Women to better
understand the Male.
Originally posted by Mangy MoooseGod damn that's accurate.
[b]BECAUSE I'M A MAN
Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car I will
fiddle with a wire long after hypothermia has set in.
Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I
will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what
I'm looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say
to the other, "I used t ...[text shortened]... do the rest.
This has been a public service message for Women to better
understand the Male.[/b]