Found love over the internet

Originally posted by trekkie
I am interested in finding out peoples experience of internet love. Two reasons, a local radio station just had a love over the web competition in which a couple who had not personally met but fell in love over the web were married. The long distance partner was flown to melbourne for the ceremony. So it is possible....

A lot closer to my heart, is someon ...[text shortened]... people who have a partner who travels a lot, maybe in the military, how do you cope ???

-mike

Several points have come out here, so here's my 2 cents on them:

Many (many many many) people have said that they have wonderful relationships over the net because they can be so open with the other person. This is, as has been stated by Kirk, because there is no risk. If that person blows you off (does that mean the same thing in the US? I suspect not - in the UK it means to take a sudden dislike to you) then you can ignore them instantly. That in itself might not be a bad thing, but try not to get too caught up in the fact that you have managed to bare your soul to someone and that they have done the same, as this has more to do with the medium that you are communicating over than that this person is different from everyone else that you have met.

Another way to see the flaaw in internet relationships is to compare your own personality on the net compared to you in rthe real world. The net allows people to be the person they want to be. It's not necessarily lying, because they say & act the way that they would if they were able too in the real world. But this person who you know so well isn't really all of that person, just the better side of them - not the side at 6am before coffee, not the side after a hard day at work, not the side who isn't so nice all the time. People are often at their best on the net, but they can't be like that in the real world all the time (if ever!).

There is a huge difference between web relationships, meeting via the web, & long distance relationships. I've already tried to say above why falling in love on the web is dangerous, but as soon as you see that person for the forst time your relationship really begins. WHen you meet this person for the first time I'd only give you slightly better chances of getting on with them than if you'd just been introduced by a mutual friend, but once you have met your relationship begins again and if you get on then it is irrelevent that you met on the net - your relationship will be based on real life. This is why meeting people over the net is OK (if more dodgy than people realise) but don't fall in love - that's going to get you hurt 9 times out of 10. It might be an idea to clearly set out in your mind who are web friends & who are "real" friends, and make sure that you distinguish the difference. If they are a "real" friend then see them for real, in the real world. If they are a web friend then remember that they are just that - only a portion of the whole person & able to disappear from your life at any given moment at the flick of a switch. "Real" long distance relationships? Good luck - I honestly mean that - but I don't give them much hope. I have only seen them work when the long distance has been temporary, but as a long term thing absence makes the heart grow weaker I'm afraid. The less you are with someone the more you drift apart.

Are pedophile priests being ordered to plead guilty, whether they are or not (obviosly some are)? Settling = less headlines with less details of the guys who are really guilty & what they did, which means that the church gets to sweep all this under the carpet faster.

Long & confused. I wonder if anyone got to the end...?

Originally posted by Danforth
This is a problem in all catholic countries. We have our bunch of pedophile catholic priest here too... Let them get married and that gonna fix most of the problem!

Yan

Unfortunately I do not think it is a lack of access to the opposite sex that is turns these priests into pedo's, more that the Catholic Chiurch has provided a good place for them to hide and abuse. The offenders have the fear of god to keep their victims quiet while the church has traditionally defended the abusers, in the worst cases just "moving them on" to somewhere else. This process then becomes institutionalised over time as the victim becomes the abuser through learned behaviour.

Andrew

Originally posted by belgianfreak
There is a huge difference between web relationships, meeting via the web, & long distance relationships.

I think you make a good point here. If you're looking for love, then the web can be a great tool for finding and screening the types of people you'd like to meet in real life. But real life is where it really matters, so I'd advise people against getting too far into an online relationship before setting up a face-to-face meeting; otherwise, it's just too easy to get carried away with unrealistic hopes and assumptions about the person.

My boyfriend and I emailed each other for two or three weeks before setting up a meeting, and that felt just about right -- enough time to decide we had a connection worth pursuing, but not long enough that either of us would have been broken-hearted had we met and discovered that we just weren't a good match.

As for long distance relationships, they may work for a very few people, but I think distance is a huge and unnecessary obstacle to establishing a solid romantic bond with another person -- that only comes with time and togetherness. Love can be found anywhere if people are open to it, so best to look closer to their own backyard.