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Friendship and Betrayal

Friendship and Betrayal

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Has anyone ever lost a good friend or a best friend due to your stupid actions or words. It happened to me today I lost a friend of 3 years today. I have really been acting like a jerk I have been using her for sex and for transportation to and from work, I truly loved her as a friend but nothing more could come from it. She has chosen to sever all ties with me. I always under estiamted her and didnt appreciate her. Now that I dont have her friendship I am truly heartbroken. Just thought I would tell my family what is on my mind

Rob

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Originally posted by deathbypawn
Has anyone ever lost a good friend or a best friend due to your stupid actions or words. It happened to me today I lost a friend of 3 years today. I have really been acting like a jerk I have been using her for sex and for transportation to and from work, I truly loved her as a friend but nothing more could come from it. She has chosen to sever all ties ...[text shortened]... riendship I am truly heartbroken. Just thought I would tell my family what is on my mind

Rob
sorry to hear that man. women come and go, but friends should last a lifetime. hopefully, time will heal her wounds and you can once again become friends.

good luck
mike

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Let some time go by, say, three months, then you get off your butt and call her, send her a letter, send her flowers, etc. Do whatever it takes to win back her friendship. Your actions must be proportional to the mistake.

-Ray.

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Originally posted by deathbypawn
Has anyone ever lost a good friend or a best friend due to your stupid actions or words. It happened to me today I lost a friend of 3 years today. I have really been acting like a jerk I have been using her for sex and for transportation to and from work, I truly loved her as a friend but nothing more could come from it. She has chosen to sever all ties ...[text shortened]... riendship I am truly heartbroken. Just thought I would tell my family what is on my mind

Rob
Used her for sex and transportation!?!?Dude,what were you thinking?

That's gonna cost you a fortune on flowers to make up.

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Originally posted by deathbypawn
Has anyone ever lost a good friend or a best friend due to your stupid actions or words. It happened to me today I lost a friend of 3 years today. I have really been acting like a jerk I have been using her for sex and for transportatio ...[text shortened]... en. Just thought I would tell my family what is on my mind

Rob
Geez mate...
I think you've been given some good advice here. Give her some time, then say you're sorry like you mean it. And when you do make up, don't accept any lifts from her (or any of the other stuff) to prove it's her friendship you really missed. Set some clear boundaries for yourself so you don't slip back into your old habits.



P.S. You're far from alone in using someone in that manner. The entire New Zealand equestrian team does the same.

1 edit
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Originally posted by deathbypawn
Has anyone ever lost a good friend or a best friend due to your stupid actions or words. It happened to me today I lost a friend of 3 years today. I have really been acting like a jerk I have been using her for sex and for transportatio ...[text shortened]... en. Just thought I would tell my family what is on my mind

Rob
Rob -

Right or wrong in your actions - only you can decide that and learn from it.

Time will help.

However, you've obviously done some soul searching here - but have you told her these things? Been completely honest with her? That has to be the start of any future you might have.

Good Luck.
turtlex

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Originally posted by turtlex
Rob -

Right or wrong in your actions - only you can decide that and learn from it.

Time will help.

However, you've obviously done some soul searching here - but have you told her these things? Been completely honest with her? That has to be the start of any future you might have.

Good Luck.
turtlex
This deserves a rec.

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Originally posted by dyl
Geez mate...
I think you've been given some good advice here. Give her some time, then say you're sorry like you mean it. And when you do make up, don't accept any lifts from her (or any of the other stuff) to prove it's her friendship you really missed. Set some clear boundaries for yourself so you don't slip back into your old habits.



P.S. You're ...[text shortened]... rom alone in using someone in that manner. The entire New Zealand equestrian team does the same.
Dylan,just to let you know how much I appreciate that remark. These forums can certainly do with a little humour.

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You have to be honest with her. You have to tell her that you didn't understand your feelings. She probably thinks (rightly as it seems) that you were using her. But now, as many boys discover, their female friends are more important than for just simple gratification. You have to make her understand that you made a mistake and that you now realize that you were wrong. Believe me, admission of being wrong means a lot to a girl. You have to make her really understand that taking advantage of her for sex and other bonuses means little to you now after you've lost her and that what you really appreciate and care about is HER. Most girls are willing to forgive (because we kind of know boys are a bit stupid at times -- sorry 🙁 ) but if you tell her honestly and completely, a girl with some experience will understand and accept your apology. If she is the girl of the type I know, you'll have to work hard to gain her trust again, but it's possible. But you have to be HONEST. You have to make her realize that you've changed because of what's happened. But a real change, not just words.

Sarah

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tell her your feelings. Tell her you're heartbroken. Don't be a typical (or whatever you want to call it) male by not pouring out your heart. Tell her that you feel empty without her friendship. Tell her that it's HER and not what she gives you that make you happy.

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Originally posted by AsianRose
You have to be honest with her. You have to tell her that you didn't understand your feelings. She probably thinks (rightly as it seems) that you were using her. But now, as many boys discover, their female friends are more important t ...[text shortened]... of what's happened. But a real change, not just words.

Sarah
Thanks Sarah for listening. It goes beyond just using her for the things I listed. I took her virginity a gift meant for her husband, something I can never give back to her. I am confused exactly what my feelings are. I knew in my heart that all I was looking for was friendship, but now that she is gone I am not so sure.
It is like the famous song aint no sunshine when shes gone at least that is how I felt over the past 24 hours or so.

Rob

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Originally posted by dyl
[b]Geez mate...
Set some clear boundaries for yourself so you don't slip back into your old habits.




He, he...yeah, you don't want to "slip back into" your old habits...😵 😉

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Originally posted by rgoudie
Let some time go by, say, three months, then you get off your butt and call her, send her a letter, send her flowers, etc. Do whatever it takes to win back her friendship. Your actions must be proportional to the mistake.

-Ray.
Hey, that's a good one, though three months is WAY to long. 1 week sounds better 😉

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Originally posted by deathbypawn
Has anyone ever lost a good friend or a best friend due to your stupid actions or words. It happened to me today I lost a friend of 3 years today. I have really been acting like a jerk I have been using her for sex and for transportation to and from work, I truly loved her as a friend but nothing more could come from it. She has chosen to sever all ties ...[text shortened]... riendship I am truly heartbroken. Just thought I would tell my family what is on my mind

Rob
Sounds to me you got what you deserved.
Any person in their right mind wouldn't want to have anything to do with you again.

A very harsh lesson. Learn from it.

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