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Funniest *English* Joke

Funniest *English* Joke

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(Said in northern-bastard English accent) My mother's so skinny, she fell asleep in the garden and the dog buried her.

Is this class?

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Originally posted by ivangrice
(Said in northern-bastard English accent) My mother's so skinny, she fell asleep in the garden and the dog buried her.

Is this class?
this is

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Originally posted by ivangrice
(Said in northern-bastard English accent) My mother's so skinny, she fell asleep in the garden and the dog buried her.

Is this class?
Roberto Besqualo is the funniest joke in English.

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Originally posted by ivangrice
(Said in northern-bastard English accent) My mother's so skinny, she fell asleep in the garden and the dog buried her.

Is this class?
Class? Me thinks not. Funny? No.

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Originally posted by IronPawn
Class? Me thinks not. Funny? No.
from that view i guess its not

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it could be funny if the mum buried the dog......get it ?

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nope.

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I am very disappointed- I thought this was going to be a thread in which punters from across the world could share their jokes about the English (someone should really start one of those)!

I would have even settled for a good Paddy Oirishman, or a Kerryman joke. But no. That was appalling. For shame.😠

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Originally posted by sjeg
I am very disappointed- I thought this was going to be a thread in which punters from across the world could share their jokes about the English (someone should really start one of those)!

I would have even settled for a good Paddy Oirishman, or a Kerryman joke. But no. That was appalling. For shame.😠
I agree with you. I also expected something else here. Guess it got off to a bad start. What say we try it all again, what? Pip, pip, and all that rot!

Oh, look! there's a penguin on the telly!

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English, Irish and Scottish man walk into a bar. Bar man says 'Is this a joke?'.

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Originally posted by ivangrice
(Said in northern-bastard English accent) My mother's so skinny, she fell asleep in the garden and the dog buried her.

Is this class?
Tut tut old boy, its all down to comic timing & presentation.

My mothers so skinny, (small pause) she fell asleep in the garden and(small pause + goofy northern look) the dog buried her.
🙂

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Here is an English joke...

During World War II, a young man was walking home late in the evening. Air raid sirens sounded and all the city lights went out, leaving him in total darkness, unable to find his way to an air raid shelter.

He stepped into a dark doorway for shelter. Feeling around, his hand touched a female form. She moaned and leaned into him. Soon, to the sound of falling bombs, he was having his way with her.

When the all-clear siren sounded and the lights came back on, she looked at him and cried out, "Nigel!"

He responded, "Mum!"

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Originally posted by blueduck
Here is an English joke...

During World War II, a young man was walking home late in the evening. Air raid sirens sounded and all the city lights went out, leaving him in total darkness, unable to find his way to an air raid shelter.

He stepped into a dark doorway for shelter. Feeling around, his hand touched a female form. She moaned and leaned in ...[text shortened]... d the lights came back on, she looked at him and cried out, "Nigel!"

He responded, "Mum!"
I think something was lost in translation here.

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Originally posted by Jay Peatea
Tut tut old boy, its all down to comic timing & presentation.

My mothers so skinny, (small pause) she fell asleep in the garden and(small pause + goofy northern look) the dog buried her.
🙂
We're getting somewhere here. The joke has evolved (God I hope this doesn't get hijacked by a Darwin debate) to:

(Said in laconic Northern manner of, say, Les Dawson) My mother-in-law's so ugly, she fell asleep in the garden and the dog buried her...

I think this joke was delivered by Frank Skinner in this way some years ago - it made me laugh.

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