Funny Quotes

Here are a some by Steven Wright.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them.

OK, so what's the speed of dark?

Some more by Steven Wright

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

What's another word for Thesaurus? -- Steven Wright

🙂

" It ain't over till it's over"
" It's like dejavu all over again"
Yogi Bera

Originally posted by Great Big Stees
" It ain't over till it's over"
" It's like dejavu all over again"
Yogi Bera

"I don't know. A proof is a proof. What kind of a proof? It's a proof. A proof is a proof, and when you have a good proof, it's because it's proven."
Jean Chretien

Originally posted by Great Big Stees
"I don't know. A proof is a proof. What kind of a proof? It's a proof. A proof is a proof, and when you have a good proof, it's because it's proven."
Jean Chretien

This day is the first day of the rest of your life...

"Shish-kaboob, Bob-Bob... I mean, shish kabob, Boo-Boo."

Erm....Yogi Berra?

When life hands you lemons.....give 'em back.
Sour Puss

Anyone who hates small dogs and children can't be all bad.
W.C. Fields

Here's one on chess.

Reuben Fine said "I'd rather have a pawn than a finger."

Roman Dzindi added "It depends on which pawn and which finger."

Hey big boy. Is that a banana in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?"
Mae West

It's not the men in your life that counts. It's the life in your men.
Mae West

I have a good half a mind to join a club ... and hit you over the head with it.

I could dance with you till the cows come home. On second thought, I'd rather dance with the cows till you come home.

Groucho

Interviewer: "How do you like kids Mr. Feilds?"
W.C.: "Fried"