Three guys are drinking in a bar when a drunk comes in, staggers up to them and points at the guy in the middle, shouting, "Your mom's the best sex in town!"
Everyone expects a fight but the guy ignores him, so the drunk wanders off and bellies up to the bar at the far end.
Ten minutes later, the drunk comes back, points at the same guy, and says, "I just did your mom, and it was s-w-e-et!"
Again the guy refuses to take the bait, and the drunk goes back to the far end of the bar. Ten minutes later, he comes back and announces, "Your mom liked it!"
Finally the guy interrupts, "Go home, Dad, you're drunk!"
Originally posted by stockenA man and a horse walk into a pub, the horse walks up to the bar and asks for a pint. the bar keeper replies sorry what did you say, the horse asks again for a pint yet again the bar keeper can't hear the horse, the man with the horse then turns to the barkeeper and says "sorry he is a bit hoarse today".
Three guys are drinking in a bar when a drunk comes in, staggers up to them and points at the guy in the middle, shouting, "Your mom's the best sex in town!"
Everyone expects a fight but the guy ignores him, so the drunk wanders off and bellies up to the bar at the far end.
Ten minutes later, the drunk comes back, points at the same guy, and says, "I j ...[text shortened]... ces, "Your mom liked it!"
Finally the guy interrupts, "Go home, Dad, you're drunk!"
UN sent out a questionaire to governments all over the world with this simple request: "Give us your honest opinion on how to solve the problem of starvation in underdeveloped countries."
But the whole experiment failed due to the following reasons:
In africa they didn't know what food was.
In eastern europe nobody knew the meaning of the word honest.
In western europe the word underdeveloped meant nothing.
In china they didn't know what it meant to actually have an opinion.
In the middle east they couldn't comprehend the meaning of the word solution.
And the US had no idea that the world was bigger than their own continent.
Originally posted by mochironWhat's the difference between an elephant and a grape?
What is the difference between a grape and a chicken?
A; they are both purple except for the chicken.
Elephants are grey, grapes are green.
What did Hannibal say when he saw the elephants coming over the alps?
Here come the elephants.
What did his brother say?
Here come the grapes. (He was colour-blind...)
A reporter goes to a Texan, a Californian, and a New Yorker and asked "Excuse me, what do you think about the current meat shortage?"
The Texan replied:
"Excuse me, what is a shortage?"
The Californian replied:
"Excuse me, what is meat"?
The New Yorker replied:
"What is 'Excuse me?'"
Originally posted by stocken:'(
Three guys are drinking in a bar when a drunk comes in, staggers up to them and points at the guy in the middle, shouting, "Your mom's the best sex in town!"
Everyone expects a fight but the guy ignores him, so the drunk wanders off and bellies up to the bar at the far end.
Ten minutes later, the drunk comes back, points at the same guy, and says, "I j ...[text shortened]... ces, "Your mom liked it!"
Finally the guy interrupts, "Go home, Dad, you're drunk!"