Originally posted by SeitseWhoops, I forgot to tell you I'd outsourced HR to a small company in Darfour, Sudan. I left an airline ticket for you on your desk.
Dear Vicepresident Zort Boy,
We regret to inform you that due to financial constrains our company is forced to let go some of its staff. In our latest round of downsizing unfortunately your name is in the list.
We kindly ask you to consider this difficult decision as not linked in any way to your credentials but as a last service from you to our corpora ...[text shortened]... rvice and look forward to working with you in the near future.
Kind regards,
Human Resources
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Dear Mr. Cathbert,
I am responding to your company's recent advertisement for an executive in charge of product testing. I feel I would be the ideal candidate for the position, as I have many innovative ideas for the stress testing of both the porcelain Grandma Roberta doll (throwing under bus, dropping from helicopter, feeding to forum trolls), and the Grandma Roberta action figure. In fact, I think this latter product would make an ideal voodoo doll. However, I propose to outsource the testing of the Grandma Roberta inflatable sex doll, and have some ideas about people who might be interested in taking up that challenge.
Yours Faithfully
Blackamp
Originally posted by Zort BoyThe downsizing communications team was outsourced to Bombay so the Sudanese team did not carry on with the orders.
Whoops, I forgot to tell you I'd outsourced HR to a small company in Darfour, Sudan. I left an airline ticket for you on your desk.
By the way, I've worked just for 10 minutes and already got a reward trip to Orlando? Amazing, I love this place!
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Dear Mr Catbert
Our client, Mr Zort Boy has instructed us to advise you that legal action will be taken forthwith unless you cease all activities which may have a detremental impact his employment status.
If you do not cease said activities our trained para-legals, Loiue, Fingers and Moose will be forced to attend your office to conduct an intense three on one negotiation.
Yours sincerely
Marvin Shaftem
Shaftem, Ripoff and Screw
Lawyers
Originally posted by Zort BoyI have kidnapped the prototype of Grandma Roberta's forum troll action figure, fully equipped with rusty underwear, paedobear poster, and moonshine bottle.
Dear Mr Catbert
Our client, Mr Zort Boy has instructed us to advise you that legal action will be taken forthwith unless you cease all activities which may have a detremental impact his employment status.
If you do not cease said activities our trained para-legals, Loiue, Fingers and Moose will be forced to attend your office to conduct an intense thr ...[text shortened]... on one negotiation.
Yours sincerely
Marvin Shaftem
Shaftem, Ripoff and Screw
Lawyers
Me and Mr. Cheney will be available for negotiations in Belize City's airport.
Regards,
Mr. Catbert
Originally posted by SeitseCatbert would merely wave his scepter and shout "BEGONE!"
Dear Vicepresident Zort Boy,
We regret to inform you that due to financial constrains our company is forced to let go some of its staff. In our latest round of downsizing unfortunately your name is in the list.
We kindly ask you to consider this difficult decision as not linked in any way to your credentials but as a last service from you to our corpora ...[text shortened]... rvice and look forward to working with you in the near future.
Kind regards,
Human Resources
Originally posted by SeitseMr. Cheney and I
I have kidnapped the prototype of Grandma Roberta's forum troll action figure, fully equipped with rusty underwear, paedobear poster, and moonshine bottle.
Me and Mr. Cheney will be available for negotiations in Belize City's airport.
Regards,
Mr. Catbert
If I ever become a mass murderer, I will start with people who start a sentence with "Me and...".
Originally posted by SuzianneBilly Paul is waiting for you to go and kill him for Me and Mrs. Jones.
Mr. Cheney and I
If I ever become a mass murderer, I will start with people who start a sentence with "Me and...".
P.S. I deserve to be ahead of Dick Cheney in a sentence. He deserves to be ahead of me, however, in the gas chamber queue.
Originally posted by Seitse"Me and Mrs. Jones" is a song title, no?
Billy Paul is waiting for you to go and kill him for Me and Mrs. Jones.
P.S. I deserve to be ahead of Dick Cheney in a sentence. He deserves to be ahead of me, however, in the gas chamber queue.
And if you want to be ahead of Mr. Cheney, then at least say "I and Mr. Cheney..."
Originally posted by BlackampDear customer services
Dear Mr. Cathbert,
I am responding to your company's recent advertisement for an executive in charge of product testing. I feel I would be the ideal candidate for the position, as I have many innovative ideas for the stress testing of both the porcelain Grandma Roberta doll (throwing under bus, dropping from helicopter, feeding to forum trolls), and the ...[text shortened]... about people who might be interested in taking up that challenge.
Yours Faithfully
Blackamp
I recently purchased a GrandMa Roberta infaltable doll. I attempted to use it as a voodoo doll but it went down on me and I cannot get it up again. I find this very distressing. I would like to demand a full refund plus damages to my deflated ego [and doll].
Regards
Embarrassed
Manchester
Originally posted by jimslyp69You normally have to pay extra for a Grandma Roberta doll that goes down on you. Think yourself lucky and buy a puncture repair kit.
Dear customer services
I recently purchased a GrandMa Roberta infaltable doll. I attempted to use it as a voodoo doll but it went down on me and I cannot get it up again. I find this very distressing. I would like to demand a full refund plus damages to my deflated ego [and doll].
Regards
Embarrassed
Manchester