I do lots of things to ‘stop’ myself feeling unhappy and improve my self esteem. They include a balance of enjoyable and laborious activities, getting enough sleep, being creative, avoiding contact with negative people, to mention a few.
Is anyone really naturally happy or is this just a measure of how we perceive the unhappiness of others and compare ourselves with them?
- Joined
- 06 Nov 15
- Moves
- 41301
@drewnogal saidI think that happiness, as a natural state of mood, is universally preferred: It should provide the scaffolding of a well-adjusted personality.
I do lots of things to ‘stop’ myself feeling unhappy and improve my self esteem. They include a balance of enjoyable and laborious activities, getting enough sleep, being creative, avoiding contact with negative people, to mention a few.
Is anyone really naturally happy or is this just a measure of how we perceive the unhappiness of others and compare ourselves with them?
But we cannot discount nature's tendency toward balance. Any preponderance or excess can leave temporary voids elsewhere. And as these idioms wisely state:
- "What goes up, must come down."
because...
- "Nature abhors a vacuum."
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@woofwoof saidI agree; I think contentment and peace of mind are normal states of being which together form “happiness”.
I think that happiness, as a natural state of mood, is universally preferred: It should provide the scaffolding of a well-adjusted personality.
If we seek “happiness” then we can fall into the trap of seeking pleasure, which is an emotional narcotic.
If however we seek contentment, then peace of mind will follow and happiness after that.
Seek contentment.
@mercury saidContentment is what I have pursued over the past few years since retirement. It’s an adult emotional state I believe. Children and adolescents can’t stay content for very long though I’ve heard the word often used to describe a baby after a feed.
I agree; I think contentment and peace of mind are normal states of being which together form “happiness”.
If we seek “happiness” then we can fall into the trap of seeking pleasure which is an emotional narcotic.
If however we seek contentment then peace of mind will follow ana happiness after that.
Seek contentment.
@drewnogal
I think people who are suffering often struggle to manage feelings of emptiness, boredom and dissatisfaction with their lives. Perhaps contentment comes with the realisation that chasing happiness is not the solution and finding other ways. Imagining there are lives filled with perpetual happiness and devaluing your own life by comparison is a trap. I would agree that avoiding it comes with maturity and experience.
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@drewnogal saidI would not consider a state of permenent happiness possible, I think over my adult lifetime I have been in a state of contentment with moments of joy and sadness peppering my consciousness, occasional depression & moments of rapture, pleasure is fleeting, laughter is glorious especially when shared, Life is emotional , we need to feel all to be human. From The Book Of Right On.
I do lots of things to ‘stop’ myself feeling unhappy and improve my self esteem. They include a balance of enjoyable and laborious activities, getting enough sleep, being creative, avoiding contact with negative people, to mention a few.
Is anyone really naturally happy or is this just a measure of how we perceive the unhappiness of others and compare ourselves with them?
@great-big-stees said
Couldn’t exist without some sadness.
What was the “tune” the Beatles sang about happiness? 🤔😲😉
Here is another popular one in 1964, when you were a young man. 😉
-VR
31 Jul 21
@drewnogal saidHow we perceive and compare plays a larger part than most people realize.
I do lots of things to ‘stop’ myself feeling unhappy and improve my self esteem. They include a balance of enjoyable and laborious activities, getting enough sleep, being creative, avoiding contact with negative people, to mention a few.
Is anyone really naturally happy or is this just a measure of how we perceive the unhappiness of others and compare ourselves with them?
Our worlds were much different when we were in a local tribe of 150. We could look in each other's eyes every day as we were perceiving and comparing. It was harder for our world to fool us.
@drewnogal
I think contentment, as has been said earlier, is what we feel when our basic needs are fulfilled. Happiness is a temporary feeling which is difficult to recall other than in words. I could say "I was so happy that time" but the feeling will not be there, just a recollection of that moment.
@drewnogal saidHere is my 2 cents. There is such a thing as naturally happy people, and you seem to have some of that in you. The formula for that is pretty simple to figure out but not always easy to do. Happiness comes from basically making 3 right decisions in ones life. - Choosing the right spouse, making the right career choice, living in the right place. Failure in one or more of these often leads to unhappiness or poor self-esteem. But even failure here and this unhappiness can be temporary, if one has the right attitude. The right attitude to almost all of life's ills is - keeping busy, keeping in good health, keeping ones expectations reasonable [not too high or too low], and keeping ones feet grounded. Some people have many of these covered, and its not at all about money or material possessions. Often its the material possessions which bring the most unhappiness.
I do lots of things to ‘stop’ myself feeling unhappy and improve my self esteem. They include a balance of enjoyable and laborious activities, getting enough sleep, being creative, avoiding contact with negative people, to mention a few.
Is anyone really naturally happy or is this just a measure of how we perceive the unhappiness of others and compare ourselves with them?