Go back
Help - I'm being stalked

Help - I'm being stalked

General

Sicilian Sausage

In your face

Joined
21 Aug 04
Moves
55993
Clock
22 Nov 14
Vote Up
Vote Down

...by none other than someone from the Office of National Statistics.

I first got a letter about three weeks ago telling me how important that it was that I let them interview me to find out some data. If I didn't do this then it could throw the whole thing out of balance because the addresses are specially selected. Bloody statistics! She has been constantly ringing my bell and putting notes through my door. Today she was waiting outside my house in her car and when I returned from the shops she started knocking on again. i eventually lost it and told her to stop stalking me.

Aaaargh leave me alone!

Seitse
Doug Stanhope

That's Why I Drink

Joined
01 Jan 06
Moves
33672
Clock
22 Nov 14
Vote Up
Vote Down

That's nothing.

When my ex divorced me for slapping her after discovering
she was born a man, I got the LGBT community picketing
my workplace during the day and throwing eggs and tomatoes
at my door in the middle of the night.

This lasted for 6 months.

rookie54
free tazer tickles..

wildly content...

Joined
09 Mar 08
Moves
205586
Clock
22 Nov 14

Originally posted by Seitse
in the middle of the night for 6 months.
i hate it when the night lasts for six months...

Sicilian Sausage

In your face

Joined
21 Aug 04
Moves
55993
Clock
22 Nov 14
Vote Up
Vote Down

Prove it!

Great Big Stees

Joined
14 Mar 04
Moves
186449
Clock
22 Nov 14

Originally posted by Sicilian Sausage
...by none other than someone from the Office of National Statistics.

I first got a letter about three weeks ago telling me how important that it was that I let them interview me to find out some data. If I didn't do this then it could throw the whole thing out of balance because the addresses are specially selected. Bloody statistics! She has be ...[text shortened]... ing on again. i eventually lost it and told her to stop stalking me.

Aaaargh leave me alone!
Give her what she wants and be done with it...Oh wait, what does she look like?

Seitse
Doug Stanhope

That's Why I Drink

Joined
01 Jan 06
Moves
33672
Clock
22 Nov 14
Vote Up
Vote Down

Originally posted by Great Big Stees
Give her what she wants and be done with it...Oh wait, what does she look like?
What if she wants the D and the charcuterie from Sicily
doesn't dig seafood?

Sicilian Sausage

In your face

Joined
21 Aug 04
Moves
55993
Clock
22 Nov 14
Vote Up
Vote Down

Originally posted by Great Big Stees
Give her what she wants and be done with it...Oh wait, what does she look like?
I'm not sure they inclube nob size in national statistics but you never know!

Ponderable
chemist

Linkenheim

Joined
22 Apr 05
Moves
670011
Clock
22 Nov 14
Vote Up
Vote Down

Originally posted by rookie54
i hate it when the night lasts for six months...
was it at North or South pole?

Seitse
Doug Stanhope

That's Why I Drink

Joined
01 Jan 06
Moves
33672
Clock
22 Nov 14
Vote Up
Vote Down

Originally posted by Sicilian Sausage
Prove it!
I just PM'd you a pic of my ex. With a bloody mustache.

Sicilian Sausage

In your face

Joined
21 Aug 04
Moves
55993
Clock
22 Nov 14
Vote Up
Vote Down

Originally posted by Seitse
I just PM'd you a pic of my ex. With a bloody mustache.
Strange place to have a moustache!

r
Suzzie says Badger

is Racist Bastard

Joined
09 Jun 14
Moves
10079
Clock
22 Nov 14

Originally posted by Seitse
That's nothing.

When my ex divorced me for slapping her after discovering
she was born a man, I got the LGBT community picketing
my workplace during the day and throwing eggs and tomatoes
at my door in the middle of the night.

This lasted for 6 months.
I was born a Lesbian in a male body.

Seitse
Doug Stanhope

That's Why I Drink

Joined
01 Jan 06
Moves
33672
Clock
22 Nov 14
Vote Up
Vote Down

Originally posted by Sicilian Sausage
Strange place to have a moustache!
Ever heard about the Half Brazilian waxing?

Seitse
Doug Stanhope

That's Why I Drink

Joined
01 Jan 06
Moves
33672
Clock
22 Nov 14
Vote Up
Vote Down

Originally posted by rookie54
i hate it when the night lasts for six months...
That's how we roll up here in the North, yo

Drewnogal
Constant Gardener

The Plot

Joined
07 Aug 12
Moves
53201
Clock
22 Nov 14
Vote Up
Vote Down

C
It is what it is

Pretoria

Joined
20 Apr 04
Moves
69128
Clock
22 Nov 14
1 edit

We had a census in South Africa recently. That reminded me of the story of the census taker visiting a house when a woman answered the door.

Woman:"What do you want?"

Census taker: "Lady, we are trying to find out how many are people living in this country."

Woman: "Well, there is no point in asking me! I have no idea!"

Cookies help us deliver our Services. By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. Learn More.