07 Feb 04
Originally posted by royalchickenfrom that link:
...
http://www.laughnet.net/archive/tests/mathmo.htm
I've seen this before, don't quite know where.
44 🙄.
Does the word "plagiarise" make you think of Nikolai Ivanovitch Lobachevsky?
yes!! and here it is!!!
Plagiarize,
Let no one else's work evade your eyes,
Remember why the good Lord made your eyes,
So don't shade your eyes,
But plagiarize, plagiarize, plagiarize -
Only be sure always to call it please 'research'.
D
in friendship,
prad
07 Feb 04
Originally posted by royalchickenSOME THINGS HAVE TO BE SEEN TO BE BELIEVED.
Excellent. How did you score...?
GAMES AND PUZZLES
: Can you solve Rubik's Cube unassisted? NO
: Have you ever made a model of a dodecahedron? A WHAT?
: Can you play Go? WHERE TO?
: Can you play Othello? ONCE IN A SCHOOL SKIT.
: Have you ever beaten a computer at Chess? NO
: Have you ever played Conway's Game of Life? WHO'S CONWAY?
: ...by hand? OH. PROLLY.
: Do you know the probability of a 4-3-3-3 split in Bridge? 10.2 TO THE DIDDLY-SQUAT POWER.
MANNERISMS
: Have you used the word "trivial" more than twice in the last 24 hours? YES
: Would you answer "Do you know the time?" with "Yes"? YES
: Would you answer "Is it still raining or has it stopped?" with "Yes"? YES
: When people make grammatical errors do you correct them? YES
: If someone accused you of "pedanticism" would you reply "pedantry"? NO. "YOU'RE BEING REDUNDENT."
: Would you wear a jumper with (an approximation to) the Mandelbrot Set on it? WHAT'S A JUMPER?
: Would you say "There exists" rather than "There is"? NOT OUTSIDE OF A CHURCH
: Do you drink more than 5 cups of coffee or tea per day? NO
: Would you talk about "n objects, where n is ..." ? NO
: Do you make excruciatingly bad puns? "ON ERK ASIANS"
: Have you ever corrected a lecturer? YES
: ...three times in the same lecture? YES
: Do you usually wear an anorak? NO, IT WEARS ME.
: Would you introduce yourself as a "mathmo"? NO
: _Are_ you introduced as a "mathmo"? TEE HEE. I WISH.
: Do you have strong views on the least natural number? AS OPPOSED TO?
EXPERIENCE
: Have you ever plotted (an approximation to) the Mandelbrot Set? DON'T PLAY TENNIS.
: Have you ever calculated (an approximation to) pi or e on a computer? ONLY IN MY IMAGINATION.
: Would you know what to do with Napier's bones? PLAY CRAPS?
: Does the word "plagiarise" make you think of Nikolai Ivanovitch Lobachevsky? NO... DANIEL DANIELOVITCH
: Do you, or did you read Mathematics? SADDLY... ONLY WITH AN ACCENT
: Have you read "Goedel, Escher, Bach"? HEY! ONE STEP AT A TIME BUDDY!
: Do you play a musical instrument? YES, SADDLY WITH AN ACCENT
: Have you ever programmed a computer to count prime numbers? SAY WHAT? SAY...
: Have you solved the 8-queens problem? NO. THEY ARE GOOD RENTERS THOUGH.
: Are you a member of a maths society? NOT
: Were you cleverer than maths teachers at your school? THAT IS NOT ANY CONSOLATION.
ATTRIBUTES
: Do you think more clearly whilst pacing? NO, BUT A FULL TROT MAKES ME FART
: ...fiddling with something? DEPENDS, DOESN'T IT.
: Are other people unable to read your handwriting? NOBODY HAS TRIED
: Are _you_ unable to read your handwriting? INCLUDING ME.
: Is your spelling lousy? NOT USSULLY.
: Are you either hopelessly incompetent or frighteningly competent at mental arithmetic? MORE LIKE HOPELESSLY FRIGHTENING. PERIOD.
: Are you short-sighted? YES
: Are you left-handed? ONLY WHEN USING MY LEFT HAND
: Would you fail the Turing Test? ON MANY OCCASIONS
: Do you often forget to have meals? YES
: Are you physically unco-ordinated? NO
: When you hear the word "ring", do you think first of a set with multiplication and addition? NO
: Consider the joke: "Why did the chicken cross the Moebius strip? - To get to the same side." Do you find this amusing? YES
: Does the denary value of 2^16 spring readily to mind? WHAT IS DENARY? WHAT IS ^?
: Can you "prove" 0=1? WHAT'S IN IT FOR ME?
: Do you know how many primes there are less than 100? IS A PRIME A DOMINANT MALE?
: ...less than 10000? OH. GUESS NOT THEN.
: Does the number 1,729 mean anything to you? USELESS DATES BEFORE FINDING MY WIFE.
: Do you know what "QED" stands for? QUANTUM ELECTRO DYNAMICS, IPSO FACTO
FLUENTS
: Is it more than six months since you last had a haircut? I CUT MY OWN. THREE TIMES YEARLY.
: Is it more than a week since you last had a bath/shower? NO
: In the last month, have you gone 24 hours continuously without sleep? YES
: In the last month, have you gone 18 hours continuously without being awake? NO. I WISH.
: Is it more than a week since you changed your clothes? NO
METRICS
: Have you ever done anything merely to improve your score in this test? NO
: Do you feel that some of these questions were designed with you in mind? NO
: Have you attempted to wilfully misinterpret any question in this test? YES
: Did you succeed? YES
: Did you notice the split infinitive two questions ago? MOSTLY, IT DANGLED.