-Removed-Interesting question.
Being in love is defined differently by different people. I think you always love someone you loved once, in some way. Even those you don't wish to be with at all. Some people you love like when you see pictures of yourself from younger years and you recognize your emotional state at that time and that everything THEN was absolutely real and still is in some way. You're still, in part, that person who loved. Does this question apply to people in relationships or just marriage? The most enduring love, in my opinion, is the kind in marriage and the kind that continues past the breakup (of any kind) or would continue past the breakup, where that person is still precious to you and in your life. Does this apply to single people?
Falling in love/being in love seems like a crazy state of being to me. It's awesome in the beginning and horrible at the end. It means being crazy, fantasizing alot, buying into this thought that this person is THE ONE and that love is the answer to every ill and problem - including that person's insecurities. I've been in love. It's a type of insanity. I think "being in love" often means the inevitable crash where it all becomes an ending. It all becomes this question: "what is the outcome of this going to be?" For some, it's marriage and a terrible mistake. For others, it's marriage and a wonderful and enduring love. It's hard to know which is which.
But then, there's another kind of love. Perhaps this is marriage love. Maybe this is later in life love. Mature love. I don't know. It's when you cherish someone because they calm you, they know you and all your weirdness and insecurity and shortcomings. They are not some romanticized version of your perfect love, the one you've "been waiting for" and all that BS. They are not some fixation for you and all your emptiness. They are not the solution to all your secret fantasies and desires. You don't agree with them all the time. In fact, there might be traits in eachother you find very disagreeable and those things can be dealt with nonetheless. Perhaps you are mature enough to understand what love really is and what you want from it and you cherish this person. You wouldn't die without them. You don't need to see them everyday (once the honeymoon is over, anyway). Not every fiber of your being is enmeshed in theirs. Instead, you cherish who they are, what they are, how flawed and screwed up they are, how incredibly dynamic they are, how they might drive you crazy sometimes, but still, still, you cherish them because they are your friend and they know ALL SIDES of you. All sides. And they don't really mind.
This question does not evoke a simple answer for me at all.
Happy Anniversary. 😀
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25 Jan 11
Originally posted by SunburntMan sure sounds like you've been in love a lot.
Interesting question.
Being in love is defined differently by different people. I think you always love someone you loved once, in some way. Even those you don't wish to be with at all. Some people you love like when you see pictures of yourself from younger years and you recognize your emotional state at that time and that everything THEN was absolute ...[text shortened]... n does not evoke a simple answer for me at all.
Happy Anniversary. 😀