Humourous/Humorous quotes

“If you're in a war, instead of throwing a hand grenade at the enemy, throw one of those small pumpkins. Maybe it'll make everyone think how stupid war is, and while they are thinking, you can throw a real grenade at them.”
--Jack Handey

"I've never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don’t like eating fish.
And I know that's very popular out there in Africa." — Britney Spears

"Pitching is 80% of the game. The other half is hitting and fielding."
-Mickey Rivers, baseball player

“Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.”
-- Groucho Marx, The Essential Groucho: Writings For By And About Groucho Marx

Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

Terry Pratchett

Originally posted by apathist
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

Terry Pratchett

Eat lots of Pickles.

Originally posted by kcrally
Eat lots of Pickles.

Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then. - Katharine Hepburn

I find the upper arm bone humerus.

"Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours." - Yogi Berra

"We did nothing wrong, and we will never do it again."

Eric Holder.

Originally posted by whodey
"We did nothing wrong, and we will never do it again."

Eric Holder.

Originally posted by SwissGambit
“Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.”
-GW Bush

YouTube

"You can observe a lot by just watching." - Yogi Berra

Honey, I can't find my car keys.

"Well where did you last put them?"