Who was I kiding? I'm in a place where I don't belong. I was a fool, well, I am by societal definition a fool, to think I could EVER fit in this place, ever have a place here, and ever be welcomed. There's no room for a schizophrenic in chess, never was, never has been. I don't fit in and I should just go before I hurt myself and the team even more. I'm a lose cannon that nobody can co-operate with. The hatred of myself and all my differences is quite apparent, and I cannot possibly hope to overcome it all. Inevitably, the pressure will be high, and I will fall, probably not by my choice however it may be. Chess is supposed to be a game of intellectuals, and as a schizophrenic, I must accept my role of inevitably being homeless or doing nothing but Wal-Mart greeting for the rich norm masses. There's no room in society for a shizophrenic, the world wants them gone and pretends they don't exist, and there is certainly no room for my ilk here at chess sites.
More then quiting RHP, I think I will quit the game of chess forever, quit it like I have to quit everything. There's no place, no future, and nothing good can be gained from me continuing to play. I'll just hurt myself further and hurt everyone else, I'll get in the way. Better I fess up, and quit now, then continuing in a world of hurt. I even faked suicide and came back a few months later to try and start fresh, even that didn't work.
I would like to give special thanks to the few individuals in RHP who treated me like their follow man, a person, and a human being. Without the few of you, I would of quit way sooner. I wish I could name your names with dignity and honor, but doing so may cause you more grief then good, and I don't want to ruin your chances here. So I'm thinking of you and it's best you're not named, my hope is that you know who you are, and that I was greatful, I am still greatful, and I would like to say thanks to your courage, compassion and conviction.
I want to make it clear that my leaving right now is completely my choice and my choice alone. I am leaving, and I'll be gone for good. I don't really want to leave, in my heart, I don't want to go, but my brain is telling me it may be best to just hang them up and retire froever. Good bye all, and I am sorry.
Originally posted by ExiledThere is hope my friend. Chess can bring order to a disordered life. Chess you can control. You may not win, but, there is poetry in the game. Find peace in making a move, even a bad one. Simplify you objectives, focus on making the same opening everytime, not on winning or losing. In Chess, like life, looking at the bigger game can be intimidating or confusing. Like life, take satisfaction from the small victories.
Who was I kiding? I'm in a place where I don't belong. I was a fool, well, I am by societal definition a fool, to think I could EVER fit in this place, ever have a place here, and ever be welcomed. There's no room for a schizophrenic in chess, never was, never has been. I don't fit in and I should just go before I hurt myself and the team even more. I'm ...[text shortened]... telling me it may be best to just hang them up and retire froever. Good bye all, and I am sorry.
If you need help drop me a line, I promise to lend a friendly ear.
Take care of yourself and don't let the b@$tards get you down.
😉
Originally posted by ExiledWhat a great loss to RHP and the chess world that would be.:'(
Who was I kiding? I'm in a place where I don't belong. I was a fool, well, I am by societal definition a fool, to think I could EVER fit in this place, ever have a place here, and ever be welcomed. There's no room for a schizophrenic in chess, never was, never has been. I don't fit in and I should just go before I hurt myself and the team even more. I'm ...[text shortened]... telling me it may be best to just hang them up and retire froever. Good bye all, and I am sorry.
Originally posted by Exiledyou know what i think. . . . .
Who was I kiding? I'm in a place where I don't belong. I was a fool, well, I am by societal definition a fool, to think I could EVER fit in this place, ever have a place here, and ever be welcomed. There's no room for a schizophrenic in chess, never was, never has been. I don't fit in and I should just go before I hurt myself and the team even more. I'm ...[text shortened]... telling me it may be best to just hang them up and retire froever. Good bye all, and I am sorry.
he needs a good old fashioned hug!!!
*gives Exiled a totally non-gay hug*
-dom:'(
Originally posted by ExiledThis can be a wonderful place as long as you just simple ignore the peanut gallery.
[b]Who was I kiding? I'm in a place where I don't belong. I was a fool, well, I am by societal definition a fool, to think I could EVER fit in this place, ever have a place here, and ever be welcomed.
Remember: "People will only do to you what you let them do."
😉
Originally posted by arrakisArrakis,
This can be a wonderful place as long as you just simple ignore the peanut gallery.
Remember: "People will only do to you what you let them do."
😉
Are you forgetting that he was previously banned? His post here is just more of the same, sad as it is.
BLR
*EDIT: I suppose I should qualify that by saying that my statement is based solely on speculation.
why the hell do you do this huh posting "i am a fool and i am going to leave and ii am being over dramatic and im tired of life and lets just blame it on the fact that i dont think that i am not accepted" precipitate loser why dont you just let it all go and stop thinking so much dont think when i do i get depressed but nowhere is there a despeerate cry for help wanting attenetion so i lie and say that i like toast in front of every one but no but do you reALLY