Funerals are never suppose to be fun. When you have to bury a family member, close or not, it stings. At least for me it does.
A while back I had mentioned Ihad 2 family members that were quite ill. 1 had a stomach cancer and the other drank himself there. Well the one who drank himself did it to death literally this time. So the family comes to bury him.
In most funerals, where there is a married side, and sibling side, most members will make sure that all family is notified and is given the chance to be present at the funeral. And if someone is known to be showing and is merely running late, especially when they are coming from a good distance, and they are immediate family members. In this case it was 2 sisters.
Well it appears that the wife decided to make everyone kick off period. (BTW the 2 sisters were just 10 minutes late). The minister was made to go ahead with the procedings. Mind you I don't blame the minister for he didn't know of the rest of the family still to come.
On top of this, the man's own daughter had to find out about his death from a third party. The woman couldn't even notify his own and only child. Instead was content to make sure she stayed completely out of the picture.
Now I have been very quiet from what I have seen about everything that has been going on with this woman for some time. (Family in mind mostly, keep the peace, just let things lie, and so on) Now I am ready to really rip a new one.
She knew he couldn't drink anymore or it would surely kill him. He was crippled beyond the point of walking or driving anywhere, so how does one suppose he got his beer? Less than 3 months ago, it was certain he was weak but still had a great deal of his functions and still could maintain a conversation with you. 3 days ago he was being fed Morphine everytime his eye twitched (for the pain mind you). From the moment he married this woman she has kept him as far away from his family as she could. Not allowing calls to get through to him, not bringing him around for visits. Not allowing visits, until the very end of his life.
You can say I am irritated. extremely irritated in fact. I'm not even all that sure that my ranting and raving here is making much sense, but I am really hot about this entire proceeding this day.
Look I'm not looking for sympathy here. Nor am I looking for someone to give me a reason for my feeling this way. I just wanted to vent.
How can anyone say they care for someone enough to marry them and then do everything possible to shut them away from the people who love him.
I don't know what else to say in this whole sorry state this one is in.
Originally posted by KJCavalierim gonna feel like a jackass for saying this...
Funerals are never suppose to be fun. When you have to bury a family member, close or not, it stings. At least for me it does.
A while back I had mentioned Ihad 2 family members that were quite ill. 1 had a stomach cancer and the other drank himself there. Well the one who drank himself did it to death literally this time. So the family comes to bury hi ...[text shortened]... ho love him.
I don't know what else to say in this whole sorry state this one is in.
but at my great aunt's funeral procession, me and my distant cousin started playing thumb wars in the back of the funeral home...
u dont have to say it... my mum already smacked me...
Originally posted by KJCavalierI KNOW HOW THIS FEELS TRUST ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Funerals are never suppose to be fun. When you have to bury a family member, close or not, it stings. At least for me it does.
A while back I had mentioned Ihad 2 family members that were quite ill. 1 had a stomach cancer and the other drank himself there. Well the one who drank himself did it to death literally this time. So the family comes to bury hi ...[text shortened]... ho love him.
I don't know what else to say in this whole sorry state this one is in.
Originally posted by KJCavalierYou have my every sympathy. I cannot understand people who want a relationship to trap or own or control another person. Relationships should be about sharing, both people giving something to each other, not one giving and one taking.
Funerals are never suppose to be fun. When you have to bury a family member, close or not, it stings. At least for me it does.
A while back I had mentioned Ihad 2 family members that were quite ill. 1 had a stomach cancer and the other drank himself there. Well the one who drank himself did it to death literally this time. So the family comes to bury hi ...[text shortened]... ho love him.
I don't know what else to say in this whole sorry state this one is in.
Originally posted by KJCavalierIt sounds like the work of a very disturbed mind to me. Very sad. I feel really sorry for his closest relatives who were deprived of the chance to say good-bye to him.
How can anyone say they care for someone enough to marry them and then do everything possible to shut them away from the people who love him.
I think you have to uderstand that this man was an alcoholic. Everything you wrote about must have this awareness. I can imagine that she was very angry at him and her way of getting back was to isolate him. Very passive aggressive, but the disease of addiction is a family disease.
I was once asked to do a funeral for a lady that I only met briefly. When I asked the family what they would like me to say about her, one of the sons said, "You can say she was a drunken bitch and say a prayer." I felt that my duty to this experience was to name the scars that they all carried, patient included.
People often die the way they live. Your story illustrates that in a sad way.
Thanks for the responses. Rev,I know you are right in this. but there is far more than I really have time to tell. You can say I am just hurt. More for my Mother, and her sisters, as well as his only child. Alcoholism is a serious desease that truly effects more than the one thats drunk, but this should be the one time that the family can get together to pay their respects no matter what other feelings are in place.
Sadly, I have been to 5 funerals within the past 5 years. 1 a year on a family is hard, let alone 5. None of the other 4 had anywhere near this kind of stupidity involved. Trust me, there were plaenty with many different family disutes, but everyone did there best to leave them outside the services, not make them part of it. That is what is burning me up so very badly. I wasn't even that close to him! But to disregard his own sisters and child as non-essential people to him?
Sorry I am going on again.
Back in my 20's I went to a lot of funerals and wakes and there was always at least 1 hot looking gal dressed in a mini skirt that I couldn't take my eyes off the whole time. I've even had the nerve to approach em from time to time and be that shoulder to lean on.
I'm actually surprised at the number of females I see who wear high hems and low neck lines to funerals. You'd think they were at a wedding reception.
Originally posted by UndeadNightOrcThe close proximity of death cooks up ovaries
Back in my 20's I went to a lot of funerals and wakes and there was always at least 1 hot looking gal dressed in a mini skirt that I couldn't take my eyes off the whole time. I've even had the nerve to approach em from time to time and be that shoulder to lean on.
I'm actually surprised at the number of females I see who wear high hems and low neck lines to funerals. You'd think they were at a wedding reception.
Originally posted by KJCavalierStrength to you.
Thanks for the responses. Rev,I know you are right in this. but there is far more than I really have time to tell. You can say I am just hurt. More for my Mother, and her sisters, as well as his only child. Alcoholism is a serious desease that truly effects more than the one thats drunk, but this should be the one time that the family can get together to ...[text shortened]... gard his own sisters and child as non-essential people to him?
Sorry I am going on again.
You dont wish the feelings generated by funerals of loved ones and family on even your worst enemy.