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I was attacked by a parrot today

I was attacked by a parrot today

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shavixmir
Lord

Sewers of Holland

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I swear to God, it's like I'm cursed to be assaulted by every bloody beast that B*stard Noah saved!

There I am walking to the supermarket as happy as could be when I feel something nibbling at my ankles.
Now, seriously, nibbling wasn't quite the word, but I can assure you that I did stop; I did look and my first, my very first thought, was: "That's one bloody gutsy pigeon there..."

At a first glance it was gray.
So, being the social creature I am, I step aside and the bird pounces on my foot and starts pecking at my bloody ankle!

Obviously, being a man and all, I didn't scream, but I did let out a minor yelp and tried to shake the bird off. It was then I noticed it had a parrot's beak and a yellow crested neck.

So, I'm stood outside the supermarket. A bag of empty diet coke bottles in one hand, an empty crate of beer in the other and dancing around whilst a killer parrot is stabbing at my bloody under-legs.

Some woman comes up and says: "Oh, you've found our parrot. I don't know what got into it."
I answered: "I don't know what got into it either, but I certainly have a fair bloody idea what got into me. It's bloody beak."
She dragged it off back to its kennel, or wherever else they keep the wild animals in the pet shop.

I ain't EVER EVER EVER goin' in there, I tells ya. That would be playing with fire.
I can just imagine every wild beast in there pouncing me in one plotted and schemed attack. I think not.

Ripped socks and bird wounds on my bloody ankles.
Somebody please step forward and tell me this happens to other people all the time as well!

N

The sky

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Are you sure it wasn't a penguin?

B
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RHP IQ

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Keep your hair on.

i
Deracinated

Sydney

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Originally posted by shavixmir
I swear to God, it's like I'm cursed to be assaulted by every bloody beast that B*stard Noah saved!

There I am walking to the supermarket as happy as could be when I feel something nibbling at my ankles.
Now, seriously, nibbling wasn't quite the word, but I can assure you that I did stop; I did look and my first, my very first thought, was: "That ...[text shortened]... s.
Somebody please step forward and tell me this happens to other people all the time as well!
A sheep once 'looked funny' at me. Does that count?

shavixmir
Lord

Sewers of Holland

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Originally posted by ivangrice
A sheep once 'looked funny' at me. Does that count?
In Scotland the sheep never look funny, just scared.

Wildfire
Force of Nature

The Bathroom

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Originally posted by shavixmir
In Scotland the sheep never look funny, just scared.
I'm sure you have something to do with it.

shavixmir
Lord

Sewers of Holland

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Originally posted by Wildfire
I'm sure you have something to do with it.
You don't seriously imagine that I go anywhere near animals of any sort unless they're dead and on my plate do you?

I'm forever being assaulted by the fcukers.

s

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Originally posted by shavixmir
I swear to God, it's like I'm cursed to be assaulted by every bloody beast that B*stard Noah saved!

There I am walking to the supermarket as happy as could be when I feel something nibbling at my ankles.
Now, seriously, nibbling wasn't quite the word, but I can assure you that I did stop; I did look and my first, my very first thought, was: "That ...[text shortened]... s.
Somebody please step forward and tell me this happens to other people all the time as well!
Somehow there never seems to be nothing strange happening to you.

s

Joined
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47202
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20 Sep 05
1 edit
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Originally posted by shavixmir
I swear to God, it's like I'm cursed to be assaulted by every bloody beast that B*stard Noah saved!

There I am walking to the supermarket as happy as could be when I feel something nibbling at my ankles.
Now, seriously, nibbling wasn't quite the word, but I can assure you that I did stop; I did look and my first, my very first thought, was: "That s.
Somebody please step forward and tell me this happens to other people all the time as well!

E
mid-table mediocrity

east london hellhole

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Originally posted by shavixmir
In Scotland the sheep never look funny, just scared.
especially in aberdeen

i

Felicific Forest

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Originally posted by shavixmir
I swear to God, it's like I'm cursed to be assaulted by every bloody beast that B*stard Noah saved!

There I am walking to the supermarket as happy as could be when I feel something nibbling at my ankles.
Now, seriously, nibbling wasn't quite the word, but I can assure you that I did stop; I did look and my first, my very first thought, was: "That ...[text shortened]... s.
Somebody please step forward and tell me this happens to other people all the time as well!
It simply was the Revenge of the Parrots ...... happens to me at least twice a week.

G
Mr. Shield

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I had a bug fly into my eye once, that's about it. Other than being attacked by my cat, but that was kinda my fault but still, didn't need to scatch so close to my eye.

C

Earth Prime

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I was wearing a particularly longish necklace once while bending over to look at a kitty. I saw him eyeing me strangly, since they love dangling swinging objects. So he pounces at it, and I stand up real fast, so the cat missed, but the claws go right into the crotch of my sweatpants. So the kitty is hanging by one arm from my crotch for a few seconds before dropping and I can calm down again.

Like I said, they enjoy dangling, swinging objects

K
Happier Now!!

Home!!

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Originally posted by shavixmir
I swear to God, it's like I'm cursed to be assaulted by every bloody beast that B*stard Noah saved!

There I am walking to the supermarket as happy as could be when I feel something nibbling at my ankles.
Now, seriously, nibbling wasn't quite the word, but I can assure you that I did stop; I did look and my first, my very first thought, was: "That ...[text shortened]... s.
Somebody please step forward and tell me this happens to other people all the time as well!
The closest I can come to that is:

When I was about 12 or so, My mother saw a baby bluebird in the middle of one very busy road here in Florida. She notice it wasn't able to fly. So she stopped her car. got out and tried to help the bird get off the street.

thats when it's momma came swooping down and peck her on top of the head.

K
Happier Now!!

Home!!

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Originally posted by GalaxyShield
I had a bug fly into my eye once, that's about it. Other than being attacked by my cat, but that was kinda my fault but still, didn't need to scatch so close to my eye.
had a wasp sting mine. that really smarts!

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