Now, don't get your knickers in a "Save the planet"-like twist...
Don't start calling me a baby killer like some Petra bitch in heat...
This bloody cat deserves it!
I know you all think I'm a Zen like demi-God, but this cat has pee'd on the wrong pillow in the wrong house and it's gonna die a death worth lamentation by Irish Banshee's in heat on Whisky.
I've hit it three times with water, for it was defecating in my garden.
Now it's had its petty revenge by pissing on my bed and this is where escalation seriously begins.
God damn smelly cat.
Smelly cat, smelly cat... la die laaaa DIE!!!
I was gonna get a large rat trap, spike the food with Zopiclon, catch the cat and when it's went to sleep, shave it's back and write on it: "The next time I catch this cat, I'm gonna kill it." and then nail it, living, to a tree out on the green.
Sophia was not impressed by this plan and called it "overkill".
OVERKILL?
OVERKILL?
THE FELINE MONSTROSITY DESERVES TO HAVE ITS PAWS DIPPED IN CEMENT AND THROWN IN THE CANAL.
Lucky for it I'm too bloody lazy to be bothered mixing up cement.
So, I'm buying an air gun and I'm gonna hide in the bushes and shoot the little bastard. It'll be a like a big-game hunt, only on a smaller scale... a little-game hunt.
Me. Manno to manno with the urinating terror of Rotterdam. Just me, the elements, my BB gun and the cat.
Obviously I'm not sure if an air pistol will actually kill a cat, but if I wound it, I'll be able to catch up with it (it's quite an agile beasty and I am not) and club it to death.
Now, I know this may sound harsh on over-sensitive ears, but believe me, it's the best thing for it. It really doesn't want to be caught alive by me when I've snorted more coke than the average touring funk band and have more alcohol in my veins than an English girl on Ibiza.
Wish me luck.
I'm off to paint my face black, re-watch "the deer hunter" and fill my flask with coffee.
Originally posted by shavixmirIs this forum supposed to give a $hit?
Now, don't get your knickers in a "Save the planet"-like twist...
Don't start calling me a baby killer like some Petra bitch in heat...
This bloody cat deserves it!
I know you all think I'm a Zen like demi-God, but this cat has pee'd on the wrong pillow in the wrong house and it's gonna die a death worth lamentation by Irish Banshee's in heat on Whisk ...[text shortened]... e black, re-watch "the deer hunter" and fill my flask with coffee.
Do you ever play chess?
Originally posted by SmookiePHot Damn! Forum pissing match. 😲 Shav's not going to take that trash talk and Smok ain't going to back down. This should be good. I'll be right back with beer and popcorn to watch.....
Is this forum supposed to give a $hit?
Do you ever play chess?
Rec'd, SmookieP.
Originally posted by shavixmirMakes you wonder why you had a pussy in your bedroom in the first place!
Now, don't get your knickers in a "Save the planet"-like twist...
Don't start calling me a baby killer like some Petra bitch in heat...
This bloody cat deserves it!
I know you all think I'm a Zen like demi-God, but this cat has pee'd on the wrong pillow in the wrong house and it's gonna die a death worth lamentation by Irish Banshee's in heat on Whisk ...[text shortened]... e black, re-watch "the deer hunter" and fill my flask with coffee.
😛
Originally posted by Bosse de NageBB gun kill has it's seasons, just like anything.
It's cat fur in the autumn and rat-guts in the spring.
Who's Sophia?
Sophia is someone who doesn't think me drugging a cat, nailing it to a cross and setting it alight in someone's garden is a cool thing to do.
Not even when I said I'd drop the whole white-mask idea I had to compliment the sacrifice.
Originally posted by shavixmirWater pistol full of bleach; aim for the face.
Now, don't get your knickers in a "Save the planet"-like twist...
Don't start calling me a baby killer like some Petra bitch in heat...
This bloody cat deserves it!
I know you all think I'm a Zen like demi-God, but this cat has pee'd on the wrong pillow in the wrong house and it's gonna die a death worth lamentation by Irish Banshee's in heat on Whisk ...[text shortened]... e black, re-watch "the deer hunter" and fill my flask with coffee.
End of cat troubles.