Originally posted by PhlabibitHey, it's not my fault you don't understand really technical conversation!
I've got a company that desires some parts. They have asked for a JX48.
"What do you need"?
'JX48'
"I understand that, but it's not terminology we use"
'JX48 is our part number for a nurflap twixlerbanger'
"I am unfamiliar with this item, please use our descriptions"
'My boss has requested these items, contact him'.
"Who is your boss, ...[text shortened]... y. Also consider firing that bitch you have doing your purchasing."
P-
😠
And it felt great hanging up on you.
Originally posted by PhlabibitOnce upon a time in a Call Centre:
I've got a company that desires some parts. They have asked for a JX48.
"What do you need"?
'JX48'
"I understand that, but it's not terminology we use"
'JX48 is our part number for a nurflap twixlerbanger'
"I am unfamiliar with this item, please use our descriptions"
'My boss has requested these items, contact him'.
"Who is your boss, y. Also consider firing that bitch you have doing your purchasing."
P-
Younger colleague: Dude, I have a very angry customer screaming at me, can you deal with it?
Me: OK, transfer them across
Irate customer: What muppet have I been put through to now?
Me: Good afternoon Madam, how can I be of assistance?
Irate Customer: If you don't stop messing me about I am going to the media!
Me: Madam, if you could explain the problem I will do my best to help out?
Irate Customer: Don't Madam me, I am sick of this, it is happening all too often.
<This goes on for about another 10 minutes and had started on a premium rate number>
Me: Madam, unless you explain what the problem is, I am afraid I must terminate the call.
Irate customer: Every time I turn the washing machine on, you turn the electricity off, you useless bags of poo poo (her words were more colourful).
Me: May I firstly suggest that you check the appliance is not faulty, and secondly, perhaps this conversation is best had with an electrician instead of Computers-Online*.
Irate Customer:....pause....
Me: Can I take this opportunity to inform you of our new broadband service that (at that time anyway) is a staggering 512k a second?
Irate Customer: YOU TW**'s < Followed by the sound of a telephone being ripped from the wall>.
The really sad thing is, that customer had been through to about 3 other colleagues before ending up with me, she never did take up broadband and is probably still on dial-up today, bless.
Edit: * Computers Online name changed to protect the innocent.
This bouncer ended up with me after about 4 attempts by others to get it resolved.
Customer: First you turn my Internet off and now you have messed up my computer.
Me: OK is the computer on?
Customer: Yesssssssssssssssssssssssssss!!!!!1
Me: Do you need to logon or does it go straight to the desktop?
Customer: You should know, you supply me with my broadband!!!!!!!!1
<I am wetting myself by now>
Me: Can you see your deskptop?
Customer: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!1111111111
Me: Can you enter a password at the login prompt?
Customer: I have tried everything and even tried words I know are not my password, and nothing is happening!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111111111111
Me: Can you see stars?
Customer: Are you taking the p***???
Me: Can you see stars in the login box when you type?
Customer: Nooooooooooooooo
Me: Can you pick your keyboard up and walk 5 feet away from the table?
<Short pause>
Customer: OK, I did that but it still isn't working!
Me: Did the Keyboard go with you?
Customer: < In a slightly calmer voice> Yes it did.
Me: Can you see the plug end of the keyboard cable by your feet?
Customer: Yes, should that be there????
Me: < very long pause as I wipe the tears from my eyes, by this time I have drawn quite a crowd interested in seeing where I was going with that>
Customer: It is OK, I have sorted it myself.
I don't care how they get fixed as long as they get fixed on my watch 😉
- Joined
- 14 Mar 04
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Originally posted by WoodgieWhat? Is your Dick Tracey watch broken?
This bouncer ended up with me after about 4 attempts by others to get it resolved.
Customer: First you turn my Internet off and now you have messed up my computer.
Me: OK is the computer on?
Customer: Yesssssssssssssssssssssssssss!!!!!1
Me: Do you need to logon or does it go straight to the desktop?
Customer: You should know, you supply me wit ...[text shortened]... orted it myself.
I don't care how they get fixed as long as they get fixed on my watch 😉