Thanks, Larry. I often wonder if parents' inconsistency is a lot of ambivalence they have about their own upbringing. "I've got to do better than what I got." I have to admit there are times when I'm just flat out lazy. Sometimes it's easier to give in rather than deal with the complaints if you say "no." But you pay for it down the road.
Yo, I just wanna give mad props to Professa K fo' hostin'
one of RHP's longest-running, on-topic threads that
everybody can follow and learn from. I just been strollin'
through some other threads and forums, and it be a scary
world out there. I'm a just chill up here in my Tower office
fo' a while and recover.
Dr. Cribs
Originally posted by CribsYou know it's just like providence that you said that. A lot of parents are not good parents because they don't know how to do what you just did. They don't know how to remove themselves from stuff and "chill." Parenting is stressful stuff and parents rather go sit on a couch and listen to that bald headed fool, Dr. Phil instead of going to a room and shutting the door, maybe picking up a book, or calling a baby sitter. Youare right, professa, you gotta block out that scary world at times. God bless.
Yo, I just wanna give mad props to Professa K fo' hostin'
one of RHP's longest-running, on-topic threads that
everybody can follow and learn from. I just been strollin'
through some other threads and forums, and it be a scary
world out there. I'm a just chill up here in my Tower office
fo' a while and recover.
Dr. Cribs
Originally posted by kirksey957Ten years ago, I worked late nights at a local fast food restaurant and there was a small horde of kids who did not have parents at home who parented (why else would a kids from 9-17 be out nightly until 2 or 3 am). Because no one at the restaurant set any boundries with them they were out of control! They yelled, used bad language, ran riot and generally acted like the kids they were. I got there and started insisting on some manners, polite language and tossing folks out, I stopped letting 9 kids buy one small box of french fries and then hanging out for the next 4 hours. If you'd have asked me those kids had to just hate me, I was always spoiling their fun. (once in a while, at close I would fry up a big batch of fries for them or buy them an ice cream on a hot day) But, everytime I sat down at the bus stop, or got on the bus, or went to the mall...a little flock of them would surround me asking me questions, telling me stories and hang out. To this day, those kids will see me and come over and give me a hug and tell me what's up with them.
Here's a revolutionary idea for you. Kids WANT you to be consistent with them. They not only need you to say "no" at times , but they also want you to say no. Now they are kids and don't even know that, but if you don't parent consistently all you're doing is making an adult who is going to be what I call a "highchair tyrant." A highchair tyrant ...[text shortened]... y who thinks they are entitled to everything. Know anybody like that? Not a pretty site is it.
IMO they wanted someone to care enough about them to not let them run riot. So, maybe boundries would be a good topic.
OK, everybody, we gonna take tomorrow off so I can further prepare future lessons. Let's talk a little bit about a most looked forward to milestone in the development of a child. Who wants to take a guess? Getting saved? RB, have you lost yo mind completely? I'm talking about being potty trained and getting that kid out of diapers.
Now you remember earlier I mentioned a very important name of a man who understood the life cycle and the needs of children. His name was Erik Erikson. The first stage was that of trust vs. mistrust. All babies deal with that at the beginning. It never leaves us. We all still deal with it. The next stage is that of autonomy vs. shame and doubt. The baby is growing and learns to do the very simple things like reaching out or rolling over. And eventually they learn to control their bladder and bowels. What parents forget is that you can't speed this up. A baby does not have the muscle tone and nervous system to control it early on. Gonna have to wait and spend a lot of money on diapers.
But it's gonna happen as you don't see any 6 year olds in diapers so just relax. There are some games I'm gonna teach you to help with this when it's an appropiate time. Games=play, remember, ya gotta play? One very simple game is turn the water in the toilet green. You ask now how the hell I'm gonna get my kid to pee green? Feed him spinach all day long? What you do is put some blue food coloring in there. Remember from kindergarten that blue and yellow (pee) = green. Another thing is your basic pavlovian deal in which you reward the kid with something like M&M's when you get the right result. Another little game, and I'm a little embarrassed to tell you where I learned it, but I learned it from working with one of my dogs. This is a boy only game. As you know dogs like to mark their spot. When I would take my dog out at night to get him to do his business he would sometimes just mope along and I'd be freezin to death out there. Dogs like to "put the last card on the table" if you know what I mean. So I would pee on a tree and the dog would pee right away and I could go inside and warm up. Little boys like to pee on thangs. Just go with it and praise em as much as you can. You guys know what I'm talkin about don't you? I thought so. Nw getting potty trained is part of the autonomy we were talking about. Now if you screw this up and yell and degrade your kid with this he begins to think he's sh**. That's the shame part. And you know what? That never leaves us either. Even adults need to feel competent and productive. When we don't we feel shame and doubt. OK, you're that kids "boss" and you want them to get started in life believing they can accomplish much. This is where it begins. Ya'll have a good weekend.
Thank you little T-hugs. I can tell by your enthusiasm you are a gifted student.
OK, today we are going to talk about one of the most important things a parent can do with their child to help them grow intellectually. What might that be? RB says it is reading the Bible to them. He is exactly right! Come to the head of the class.
Reading with your child is the most fundamental thing a parent can do to instill a good learning attitude early on. If a child can read, there is a whole new world opened to them. Another tremendous benefit to reading with your child is the bond that it creates between you and the child. It is also a useful bedtime routine. I used to take my kids to the bookstore on Saturdays as our weekend outing. They love books. A word of caution though. I started getting my kids this series called "The Berenstain Bears" and it is about the most sexist children's literature you could find. It's basically a family of bears and papa bear is like a demented Archie Bunker and momma bear is like Gloria Steinem who knows what is always best and just rubs it in to papa bear. I'd of divorced the bitch, but that's another story.
OK, confession time. I will be the first to admit that it takes less energy to park your kid in front of the TV than to read to them. Now there are some good children's programs but the problem with TV is that it is passive. Captain KAngaroo is dead I'm afraid and we got stuff on there like "Dragonballz" and "Sailor moon" and all kinds of stuff that will make your kid end up on Ritilin.
Parents need to be good role models around this as well. Turn off Dr. Phil. Turn off Oprah. Sometimes she can be like Momma Bear pointing out how we men are so damn stupid. Get you a good book and start reading at bedtime. Better yet, print off this thread and reread it. You don't need Dr. Spock (that would be Benjamin) anymore. YOu've got Dr. K-Dawg on your side now.
You know what? I see all these real proud parents riding around in their nice mini-vans with these bumper stickers that say things like "My kid is an honor roll student". You know what sticker I 've got on my bumper? "My border collie is smarter than your honor roll student." Did I ever tell you all what that dog did to our cat? I did? OK, never mind. Class dismissed.
OK, class, toay I'm going to interject a little humor into the topic that parents fear the most. Anybody know what that is? RB, did you say "going to hell?" You know sometimes I have hope for the boy and then he goes and destoys it.
No the most feared thing for parents is turning into their parents. Here are somes that you are losing the battle.
1) You always bemoan the state of the world.
2) YOu think all PG13 movies should be rated R.
3) You ask yourself late at night, "Did I do that?"
4) "You're eating me out of house and home" is frequently heard.\
5) You use the word "no" more than you did as a 2 year old.
6) You find yourself unconsciously applying the brakes when they are driviing.
7) You tell them you can't understand the words to the songs they like to listen to.
8) You remind them of the starving children in China at dinner time.
9) YOu tell them how far you had to walk to school. If you also remind them of the snow, you're a goner.
10) You are mesmerized and fascinated by the Weather Channel.
If you experienced any of these, do not give up hope. If you are lucky, you will live long enough to see them go through it. 🙂
Originally posted by kirksey957Lets see... You and mom do all of those (especially mom with #2). You guys are old. Like my teacher. This is exactly why I'm not having kids.
OK, class, toay I'm going to interject a little humor into the topic that parents fear the most. Anybody know what that is? RB, did you say "going to hell?" You know sometimes I have hope for the boy and then he goes and destoys it.
No the most feared thing for parents is turning into their parents. Here are somes that you are losing the battl ...[text shortened]... do not give up hope. If you are lucky, you will live long enough to see them go through it. 🙂