So here is a valuable document I received a long time ago that I'll share with all of you being forced to do Lawndry - you know being made to get out there every Saturday and cut all that green stuff.
Using this document carefully and effectively, you may find relief and respite. Think of what you can do with that extra time!
I've gotten away with not having to do Lawndry for nearly a decade!
It worked for me. It can work for you!
Use it well and good luck!
In friendship,
prad
Winterize your lawn! - The big sign outside the garden store commanded. I've fed it, watered it, mowed it, raked it and watched a lot of it die anyway. Now I'm supposed to winterize it? I hope it's too late.
We constantly battle dandelions, Queen Anne's lace, thistle, violets, chicory and clover that thrive naturally, so we can grow grass that must be nursed through an annual four-step chemical dependency program.
Imagine the conversation the Creator might have with St. Francis about this:
Hay Frank, you know all about gardens and nature. What in the world is going on down there? What happened to the dandelions, violets, thistle and stuff I started eons ago? I had a perfect, no-maintenance garden plan. Those plants will grow in any type of soil, withstand drought, heat, and will multiply with abandon. The nectar from the long-lasting blossoms attracted butterflies, honey bees and flocks of songbirds. I expected to see a vast garden of colors by now. But all I see are these green rectangles.
It's the tribes that settled there, Lord: The Suburbanites. They started calling your flowers weeds: and went to great extent to kill them and replace them with grass.
Grass? But it is so boring. It's not colorful. It doesn't attract butterflies, the birds or the bees, only grubs and sod worms. It's temperamental with temperatures. Do these Suburbanites really want all that grass growing there?
Apparently so, Lord. They go to great pains to grow it and keep it green. They begin each spring by fertilizing grass and poisoning any other plant that crops up in the lawn.
The spring rains and cool weather probably make grass grow really fast. That must make them happy.
Apparently not, Lord. As soon as it grows a little, they cut it - sometimes even twice a week.
They cut it? Do they then bale it like hay?
Not exactly, Lord. Most of them rake it up and put it in bags.
They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they sell it?
No, sir. Just the opposite. They pay to throw it away.
Now, let me get this straight. They fertilize grass so it will grow and when it does grow, they cut it off and pay to throw it away?
Yes, sir.
These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer when we cut back on the rain and turn up the heat. That surely slows the growth and saves them a lot of work.
You aren't going to believe this Lord. When the grass stops growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money to water it so they can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it.
What nonsense! At least they kept some of the trees. That was a sheer stroke of genius, if I do say so myself. The trees grow leaves in the spring to provide beauty and shade in the summer. In the autumn they fall to the ground and form a natural blanket to keep moisture in the soil and protect the trees and bushes. Plus, as they rot, the leaves form compost to enhance the soil. It is a natural circle of life.
You better sit down, Lord. The Suburbanites have drawn a new circle. As soon as the leaves fall, they rake them into great piles and have them hauled away.
No! What do they do to protect the shrub and tree roots in the winter and keep the soil moist and loose?
After throwing away your leaves, they go out and buy something they call mulch. They haul it home and spread it around in place of the leaves.
And where do they get this mulch?
They cut down trees and grind them up.
Enough! I don't want to think about this anymore. Saint Catherine, you're in charge of the arts. What movie have you scheduled for us tonight?
Dumb and Dumber, Lord, it's a real stupid movie about....!
Never mind, I think I just heard the whole story already........
OK, I just can't let this go unanswered. I am a suburbanite. I mow my lawn. I fertilize it. I rake leaves. I even have a tree that is going bad that I must cut down sometime soon or it will fall on our house. I love nature. I plant vegetables and flowers. I fertilized them too. I like wild things that are untouched as well. I live at the foot of a state park with beautiful trails that I like to hike. But why do I cut the grass?
I cut the grass to remind me that it is one of the very few things I can do in life and look back and see that I have accomplished something in the past few minutes. Cutting the grass helps stimulate the rhyzomes which help more grass to grow. When my lawn looks "good" I am feel proud of my part in it all the while knowing that ultimately it comes from God. Mowing the lawn is an archetypal chore. It has to do with "subdueing the earth." Not in a polluting or destructive way, though my lawnmower emits fumes and makes noise. Mankind is meant to leave a mark on the earth whether it is a grass hut to protect himself from the elements or a damn to generate electricity. It is born into us. Look at little kids and how they like to dig in the ground.
Please, please, may I try to beautify my own little postage stamp of creation without shame or guilt.
In fellowship with Mother Earth (I hope)
Kirk
Originally posted by kirksey957no no, kirksey. you misunderstand.
Please, please, may I try to beautify my own little postage stamp of creation without shame or guilt.
i'm trying to help here, as i have been helped by this powerful document, so that one doesn't have to feel guilty if one doesn't do all that Lawndry.
to foil almost anyone making you do Lawndry, you can use it as a blade.
it can stop you from ryething in pain.
you can save yourself from grasstrinomical crisis.
it will bolster your very soil!
in fiendship,
prad
I'm with Prad on this one. I don't understand lawn care. The amount of chemical and noise pollution it produces is considerable, not to mention the water and energy that are used and the landfill space taken up by countless bags of grass clippings.
All this for a little patch of green? It just doesn't make sense. There has to be a better way to give yourself a little sense of accomplishment or commune with your inner farmer.
But see I don't bag grass. I mulch it and return it to Mother Earth to help return nitrogen to the soil, thereby having to fertilize much less. I guess the point I was making is that on some level I enjoy cutting grass. I used to live in a neigborhood which had an "association." Those of you who live in neighborhoods with associations know that they are simply an excuse to resurrect communism on the neighborhood level. They fine you for not cutting your grass. They fine you for leaving grass clippings on the sidewalk. I've even heard of some that mandate when it is permissible to open your garage door. I don't live in one of those neighborhoods anymore. I live in a small rural town where you can do whatever you want. About 3 houses up the street is a home where the owners have left a toppled tree in their front yard for about 6 months. The house is a wreck from the outside. Because I am prideful of my labor in helping keep up our property, I tend to see their lifestyle as slovenly and effecting my property values that I try to maintain. Does this make me a self-righteous capitalist pig?
Originally posted by kirksey957when we lived in suburbia - and it was for a very, very long time - i once got hold of a really neat lawnmower called a flymo. it was like a hovercraft and actually floated on a cushion of air. i loved using it - well, really i loved using it more than cutting the grass.
But see I don't bag grass. I mulch it and return it to Mother Earth to help return nitrogen to the soil, thereby having to fertilize much less. I guess the point I was making is that on some level I enjoy cutting grass.
after my son was born, i used to put him on my back and cut the grass with an old push mower (much quieter) from the 50s - i actually bought 2 of these because i liked them as gadgets and felt i had possession of a treasured antique - while my son would fall asleep during the exercise.
i enjoyed both experiences - the 2nd one more, because i had some mighty fine company!
in friendship,
prad
just in case anyone is interested, this is a great book:
The Chemical-Free Lawn: The Newest Varieties and Techniques to Grow Lush, Hardy Grass
Warren Schultz
when we did the lawn thing i never realized i didn't have to do it the way practically everyone told me too. what was interesting was that our little patch in suburbia stayed greener and more resiliant using some of the ideas here than our neighbours who doused chemicals continually on their.
of course, if you are in possession of the lawndry document and know how to use it effectively, you don't need the schultz book at all 😀
in friendship,
prad
Originally posted by rgoudiewell i checked and there are several St Lawrence at least one of whom has obviously had the name mispelled accidentally because in those days they weren't too particular about the 'r' and 'n' since they looked so similar.
Is there a patron saint of lawns? 🙁
if we correct this error, we do get our St. Lawnerce satisfying your requirement most admirably.
in fiendship,
prad
I used to live in suburbia, did the weed'n'feed thing in spring and fall, the rest of the time just cut and watered. I have to tell you, after I got the grass cut and edged, the feeling of pure peace that I felt turning on the sprinklers and seeing the little rainbows in the mist was wonderful, heck I *loved* lawn-care!
On the other hand, I used to wonder about future peoples digging up our culture and finding out we threw perfectly good fertilizer on grass while people in other countries starved ...
Now, I can't water or feed grass anymore, just cut the damn stuff when it's hot as hell. Maybe I'll just mulch the whole thing. Or get some goats.
Originally posted by pradtfI hope I don't offend if I use the wrong spelling. You know how picky these patron saints can become.
well i checked and there are several St Lawrence at least one of whom has obviously had the name mispelled accidentally because in those days they weren't too particular about the 'r' and 'n' since they looked so similar.
if we correct this error, we do get our St. Lawnerce satisfying your requirement most admirably.
in fiendship,
prad
-Ray.
Originally posted by rgoudieYou're in luck, Ray. This time of year is the best time to reseed. I think where you live some variety of fescue is what is recommended. Be sure to keep the ground damp and covering it with straw will help hold the moisture in the ground. Grass seed likes cool wet weather. Hopefully this advice will ensure you will be a slave to your yard next spring. Also don't fertilize as it may burn the young grass.
I need lots of help! I just did my lawndry and the grass looks sickly and dry. The front is mostly dirt, which looks silly flying around as the lawndry machine passes over it.
Is there a patron saint of lawns? 🙁
-Ray.
Originally posted by kirksey957Thanks, Kirk!
You're in luck, Ray. This time of year is the best time to reseed. I think where you live some variety of fescue is what is recommended. Be sure to keep the ground damp and covering it with straw will help hold the moisture in the ground. Grass seed likes cool wet weather. Hopefully this advice will ensure you will be a slave to your yard next spring. Also don't fertilize as it may burn the young grass.
I was hoping that I might get in a bit more work before the season ended. I have some grass seed left. I'll spw it and see what happens.
-Ray.