Malapropisms,Filling Two birds with one scone.

a malopropism walks into a bar,
lookink for all intensive porpoises
like a wolf in cheap clothing,
muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions
on his magnificent other,
who takes him for granite.

This hurts my brain.

the thing walked into a bar.
he noticed malopropism not afar.
so he dropped down his pants
and did a great dance
and stuffed the bills in his pants.

“Sure, if I reprehend anything in this world it is the use of my oracular tongue, and a nice derangement of epitaphs"
Sheridan, The Rivals

“Our watch, sir, have indeed comprehended two auspicious persons"
Shakespeare, Much Ado About Nothing

I make a lot of these myself, but they aren't entertaining.