I just stopped into a bar for a beer and a game of pool with a friend of mine and happened to run into his Uncle. His Uncle's a piece of work, loud, bizarrely mustached, obnoxious, seemingly perpetually drunk, abusive to his wife, amazingly ignorant, constantly smelling like an old pair of sweaty gym socks and he chain smokes perpetually. The guy has at least two packs of cigarettes and several boxes of strike anywhere matches on him at anytime. Tonight he was in fine form, putting even me to shame. He managed to rattle off a stream of off color jokes for the better part of an hour, oblivious to the fact that nobody wanted him in their face. Finally he reached his peak with a joke involving his boss, a sauna and a magician. Old joke, but he thought it was hilarious and started slapping himself on the chest he was laughing so hard. Much to my amusement, this ignited the box of matches in his chest pocket and dear old Uncle burst into flames. Violently patting at he flames only seemed to make things worse. Someone kept yelling, "Stop, Drop and Roll! Stop, Drop and Roll!" as he screamed like a wounded water buffalo. I almost ruptured something laughing as my buddy shoved him to the ground and threw our beers onto his Uncle's chest. He lay there looking like a fat partially drowned tom cat recently lit on fire and put out with beer. Getting him to his feet was like trying to lift a sodden bag of mashed potatoes, smelling like a wet cow, nothing to get a grip on, but after much grunting and huffing he was hoisted to his feet. I offered him a cigarette from the pack I'd just stolen from him, slapped him unnecessarily hard on his back and suggested that he buy me a beer to replace the one he was wearing. This was not well received and I advised him that our second option had been to put him out by pissing on him and he should be grateful that we sacrificed our beers instead. Shortly thereafter my buddy and I left the bar heading for our respective homes and I hucked his Uncle's car keys into the bushes. At least the drunken fool won't wipe anyone out getting home tonight.
Am I wrong to find such great amusement from the suffering of this lout?
Originally posted by Hand of HecateI'm trying to remember if you've done anything stupid of late... Hmmmm....
I just stopped into a bar for a beer and a game of pool with a friend of mine and happened to run into his Uncle. His Uncle's a piece of work, loud, bizarrely mustached, obnoxious, seemingly perpetually drunk, abusive to his wife, amazingly ignorant, constantly smelling like an old pair of sweaty gym socks and he chain smokes perpetually. The guy h ...[text shortened]... etting home tonight.
Am I wrong to find such great amusement from the suffering of this lout?
Bwah! Wish I could change my FW vote.
ES
Originally posted by Hand of HecateHmmm. Well the guy sounds like a complete idiot but, perhaps he was trying to make an impression(obviously not very goo at doing so). The beer was deserved, if not mandatory, just to stop him from getting 1st degree burns to his chest, and i like the backing up of this with humour too. You had to sacrifice your ale to save this buffoons life, but the slinging of the car keys, ummm, might have been better if you just kept them in a safe place til the morning.
I just stopped into a bar for a beer and a game of pool with a friend of mine and happened to run into his Uncle. His Uncle's a piece of work, loud, bizarrely mustached, obnoxious, seemingly perpetually drunk, abusive to his wife, ...[text shortened]... rong to find such great amusement from the suffering of this lout?
But saying all that, i cannot criticise, because faced with the same situation i would have been very tempted to do the same thing myself.
Don't lose sleep over it if that's why you are slightly concerned. I wouldn't.
Originally posted by PhlabibitSo its come to that has it? I've sunk low enough into vile sociopathic behaviour that I deserve additional FW votes? I was afraid of that... really quite concerned really... by the way, just what the flamin'eck is "Bwah!"? Some sort of lame @$$ evil laugh or a physical tick like affliction in your typing?
I'm trying to remember if you've done anything stupid of late... Hmmmm....
Bwah! Wish I could change my FW vote.
ES
Originally posted by Hand of HecateNaw , you're fine . (But then again I'm the guy that told you to bomb your neighbor's house with a trebuchette .)
I just stopped into a bar for a beer and a game of pool with a friend of mine and happened to run into his Uncle. His Uncle's a piece of work, loud, bizarrely mustached, obnoxious, seemingly perpetually drunk, abusive to his wife, amazingly ignorant, constantly smelling like an old pair of sweaty gym socks and he chain smokes perpetually. The guy h ...[text shortened]... etting home tonight.
Am I wrong to find such great amusement from the suffering of this lout?
Originally posted by Hand of HecateI really don't know how I came up with 'bwah'. Could be very much like <snark> I guess. It's really nothing like an evil laugh... bwahahahaha! More like... 'bwah'.
So its come to that has it? I've sunk low enough into vile sociopathic behaviour that I deserve additional FW votes? I was afraid of that... really quite concerned really... by the way, just what the flamin'eck is "Bwah!"? Som ...[text shortened]... @$$ evil laugh or a physical tick like affliction in your typing?
It is a laugh for sure.
Anything else you might like to ask or talk about should be handled at FW....
Bwah!
ES
That's BS Hec and I'll tell you why:
Here is a quote that just tips it over the realm of reality...
"Violently patting at he flames only seemed to make things worse. Someone kept yelling, "Stop, Drop and Roll! Stop, Drop and Roll!" as he screamed like a wounded water buffalo. I almost ruptured something laughing as my buddy shoved him to the ground and threw our beers onto his Uncle's chest."
Yeah right, like you would actually allow someone to throw your beer on a burning man...
Well that's a pile of horseshiite isn't it :=) my friend...
Thanks for the chess lesson!
Frank
Originally posted by elvendreamgirlHe's a hot piece of @$$ alright. I'll gladly give you his work number if you PM me. Just imagine the waves of undulating, sweaty, cigarette burned, hairy fat rolls gracefully moving in rhythmic ecstasy.... I think I'm going to be ill.
What's his number?
JUST KIDDING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I went back this morning and recovered his keys as my conscience kicked in in a somewhat belated fashion. One of these days he'll kill someone on the road though. He's got dings all over his car that he calls "Whiskey Marks".
Originally posted by Hand of HecateDo your bit and report him to the police if he starts driving drunk again.
He's a hot piece of @$$ alright. I'll gladly give you his work number if you PM me. Just imagine the waves of undulating, sweaty, cigarette burned, hairy fat rolls gracefully moving in rhythmic ecstasy.... I think I'm going to be ill.
I went back this morning and recovered his keys as my conscience kicked in in a somewhat belated fashion. One ...[text shortened]... l someone on the road though. He's got dings all over his car that he calls "Whiskey Marks".
Originally posted by Hand of HecateArrrrrrrrrgh!!!!!!!! I will kill younif you give me his number!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He's a hot piece of @$$ alright. I'll gladly give you his work number if you PM me. Just imagine the waves of undulating, sweaty, cigarette burned, hairy fat rolls gracefully moving in rhythmic ecstasy.... I think I'm going to be ill.
I went back this morning and recovered his keys as my conscience kicked in in a somewhat belated fashion. One ...[text shortened]... l someone on the road though. He's got dings all over his car that he calls "Whiskey Marks".
😲😲😲😲😕😕