medical certificates and a day off

flexmore

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General

11 Jul 05

flexmore

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Chesstralia

Joined: 18 Aug 03
Moves: 54533

11 Jul 05

if you want to take a sickie day off ... and your boss insists you convince your doctor that you are sick,

then what symtoms should you give?

hopscotch

Joined: 09 Jun 04
Moves: 39731

11 Jul 05

Originally posted by flexmore
if you want to take a sickie day off ... and your boss insists you convince your doctor that you are sick,

then what symtoms should you give?

dizziness, nausea, drowsiness, limpness, loss of appetite, disturbed vision (flashing lights, dots), extreme lethargy, sensitive to noise, pain behind eyes.

Bosse de Nage

Zellulärer Automat

Spiel des Lebens

Joined: 27 Jan 05
Moves: 90892

11 Jul 05

Work on the limpness especially. Make limp, flapping noises over the phone--that way the doctor might agree to write you a note just to keep you out of his office.

hopscotch

Joined: 09 Jun 04
Moves: 39731

11 Jul 05

Originally posted by Bosse de Nage
Work on the limpness especially. Make limp, flapping noises over the phone--that way the doctor might agree to write you a note just to keep you out of his office.

mwah? ou ay fllllrb. ack flllrb

flexmore

Quack Quack Quack !

Chesstralia

Joined: 18 Aug 03
Moves: 54533

11 Jul 05

Originally posted by hopscotch
dizziness, nausea, drowsiness, limpness, loss of appetite, disturbed vision (flashing lights, dots), extreme lethargy, sensitive to noise, pain behind eyes.

isn't the doctor going to want to do a whole heap of nasty tests?

surely if they do not then they will be compromising themselves ... after all they are writing a certificate of sickness.

Starrman

Joined: 19 Nov 03
Moves: 31382

11 Jul 05

1 edit

Originally posted by flexmore
if you want to take a sickie day off ... and your boss insists you convince your doctor that you are sick,

then what symtoms should you give?

I always opt for fatigue as a major symptom of a made up illness. If you profess to have weakness of body (with aching if you so desire) and you find it tiring to climb the stairs, it is more convincing as an onset of a viral infection. It requires no proof (ie: no tiger balm for running nose, nor fake sneezing is required) and it is perfectly admissible as suggestion of further illness, in this way you can take several days off under the guise of an oncoming bout of flu or gastric unpleasentries, without first developing any of the symptoms of such. When you return to work you can then employ the other tricks of symptomatic subterfuge. Also, the doctor will not be able to prescribe you anything so he'll just say go home and drink plenty of water. Sorted!

My advice on taking a sicky, make it simple, make it believable, make it undetectable. Enjoy your days off 🙂

XanthosNZ

Cancerous Bus Crash

p^2.sin(phi)

Joined: 06 Sep 04
Moves: 25076

11 Jul 05

I suggest not going with general flu symptoms, adversion to bright lights and joint pain.

That may earn you a giant needle in the spine.

Varg

Thinking...

Odersfelt

Joined: 20 Jan 03
Moves: 14580

11 Jul 05

1 edit

If you are going for long term, try depression - difficult to prove, and doctors love signing people off for it.
I know many people who have had months off using this ruse.

EDIT: As below, I forgot stress! Same thing applies. If you work for local government it's practically expected of you to be off work "sick" for a good proportion of the year.

Daemon Sin

I'm A Mighty Pirate™

PaTROLLING the forum

Joined: 01 Dec 04
Moves: 36332

11 Jul 05

Originally posted by flexmore
if you want to take a sickie day off ... and your boss insists you convince your doctor that you are sick,

then what symtoms should you give?

Stress! Go to your doctor and make a big story about all the presure you're under, depression, sleepless nights, concerntration problems, death in the fmaily, etc... Even helps if you stay up VERY late the night before the doctor's appointment so you look the part.

Doctor will more than likely write you off ill for a week or so. You'll probably get some anti-depressents or sleeping tablets off him so don't take them and enjoy your week off. Worst thing that can happen is that they'll book you into a few shrink appointments, but they'll be after your week off and you can have a miraculous recovery by then.

dale21

Riding the Atom Bomb

Joined: 14 May 05
Moves: 4174

11 Jul 05

1 edit

You could of course just ask if he will write you one. If he says no, simply sask him how much it will cost (bribe). if he stil wont then tell him he has to if he wants to see his wife and kids again. 🙂

Or go with the depression one.

Edwardipov

mid-table mediocrity

east london hellhole

Joined: 05 Mar 04
Moves: 10528

11 Jul 05

do what i did - grow a massive tumour in your liver then get a surgeon to cut it out. it worked for me, i've been off work for three months so far with another 3 to go. sorted!

Bosse de Nage

Zellulärer Automat

Spiel des Lebens

Joined: 27 Jan 05
Moves: 90892

11 Jul 05

do what i did - grow a massive tumour in your liver then get a surgeon to cut it out. it worked for me, i've been off work for three months so far with another 3 to go. sorted!

Could it have been your liver I saw in that Stamford Hill mini market under "special meat" then?

~~Exy~~

Damn fine Clan!

The Double R Diner

Joined: 03 Sep 03
Moves: 72459

11 Jul 05

1 edit

Originally posted by Daemon Sin
Stress! Go to your doctor and make a big story about all the presure you're under, depression, sleepless nights, concerntration problems, death in the fmaily, etc... Even helps if you stay up VERY late the night before the doctor's app ...[text shortened]... fter your week off and you can have a miraculous recovery by then.

The RHP Health Police will have to be informed of this! 😉