Someone pointed me to a scholarship given by the Live Poet Society, and since I'm sort of scrambling for ways to pay for college next year, I'll probably enter a poem in their contest. What about:
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Clickety-clackety
Jesus the carpenter
hung from a structure
of orthogonal logs.
As he expired
Our Saviour concluded
that Roman construction
had gone to the dogs.
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or:
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Blunderous bumbler
Curious George
decided we need new
regimes in Iraq.
Maybe he thought
a big violent battle
would cover the truth:
he’s drunk and on crack.
---------------------------
Better ones to follow...
i like your first one very much and believe it could go down well. i get a new image of jesus.
but i think your second one sucks.
sorry but i dont get the rhythm nor the rhyme (for me iraq rhymes with bark), and it is not as sneaky as the first: it gives me no new insight into george and pals.
both of course risk rubbing the judges up the wrong way, but i guess thats the gamble you pay.
Originally posted by flexmoreBefore rubbing any judges any way, make sure you have consent.
i like your first one very much and believe it could go down well. i get a new image of jesus.
but i think your second one sucks.
sorry but i dont get the rhythm nor the rhyme (for me iraq rhymes with bark), and it is not as sneaky as the first: it just states a boringly obvious fact.
both of course risk rubbing the judges up the wrong way, but i guess thats the gamble you pay.
Originally posted by flexmoreOh, I don't think I'll submit those. I agree that the second is pretty miserable, and maybe just my crazy New-Englandness has me rhyming 'Iraq' with 'crack'.
i like your first one very much and believe it could go down well. i get a new image of jesus.
but i think your second one sucks.
sorry but i dont get the rhythm nor the rhyme (for me iraq rhymes with bark), and it is not as sneaky as the first: it just states a boringly obvious fact.
both of course risk rubbing the judges up the wrong way, but i guess thats the gamble you pay.
Back to the drawing board 😛
Originally posted by royalchickenI like the first one better for obvious reasons. It reminded me of a poen by Robert Bly, "So be It. Amen."
Someone pointed me to a scholarship given by the Live Poet Society, and since I'm sort of scrambling for ways to pay for college next year, I'll probably enter a poem in their contest. What about:
----------------------
Clickety-clackety
Jesus the carpenter
hung from a structure
of orthogonal logs.
As he expired
Our Saviour concluded
that ...[text shortened]... the truth:
he’s drunk and on crack.
---------------------------
Better ones to follow...
There are people who don't want Kiekegaard to be
A humpback, and they're looking for a wife for Cezanne.
It's hard for them to say, "So be it, Amen."
When a dead dog turned up on the road, the disciples
Held their noses. Jesus walked over and said:
"What beautiful teeth!" It's a way to say "Amen."
If a young boy leaps over seven hurdles in a row,
And an instant later is an old man reaching for his cane,
To the swiftness of it all we have to say "Amen."
We always want to intervene when we hear
That the badger is marrying the wrong person,
But the best thing to say at a wedding is "Amen."
The grapes of our ruin were planted centuries
Before Caedmon ever praised the Milkey Way.
"Praise God," "Damn God" are all synonyms for "Amen."
Women in Crete love the young men, but when
"The Son of the Deep Waters" dies in the bath
And they show the rose-colored water, Mary says "Amen."
Robert Bly
To the year that has been, "Amen."