Nope. Not a cool bike with a motor on it. And not really brand new so
much as never really used. But today I was off work (finally) and the
weather was great so I decided to try out my brand new bike I bought
about a year ago. Said and done. On with lighter clothing, screw the
helmet and off I went; down the street like a was released from prison. I
would have enjoyed it greatly too had it not been for the saddle.
See, the saddle was not very wide. In fact, it reminded me a lot of a
phallic symbol. Wide at the back, long and narrow at the front. I felt like
I was "joyriding" another man, except it wasn't very enjoyable. Now, part
of this story is that I've been jerking off a lot this morning, and as you
all know that will send the testicles hurling for the ground. Like
glockenspiel. And here's the thing. When I pushed down my right foot,
my right ball sort of followed along down on the right side of the saddle.
Now, when I pushed down my left foot and my right foot came back up,
my right ball no want to come back up, so I jammed it between my leg
and the saddle! Damn, that hurt!
After having done that a few times (yes, I'm that slow) I started biking
with my legs wide apart 'cause that's the only way my balls would come
back up over the saddle on each successive motion.
So, there I am with my legs wide apart and jiggling my butt back and
forth on that stupid, idiotically designed saddle, and suffice it to say
people looked... and laughed. And I sat there cursing this damn bike to
bits! ðŸ˜
#%&!!@$¤#""!#¤½!!
Now, I have no brand new bike anymore. :'(
- Joined
- 05 Oct 05
- Moves
- 63425
Originally posted by JigtieLMAO. You need an americanized seat, like this one: http://treadly.net/assets/comfy-bike-seat.jpg for the larger loads.
Nope. Not a cool bike with a motor on it. And not really brand new so
much as never really used. But today I was off work (finally) and the
weather was great so I decided to try out my brand new bike I bought
about a year ago. Said and done. On with lighter clothing, screw the
helmet and off I went; down the street like a was released from prison. I ...[text shortened]... bike to
bits! ðŸ˜
#%&!!@$¤#""!#¤½!!
Now, I have no brand new bike anymore. :'(
- Joined
- 05 Oct 05
- Moves
- 63425
Originally posted by Bosse de NageHave you ever been tearing down a curvy two-lane highway through the country, eyes a-wandering through the fields, pondering life and death, then suddenly making yourself and your brakes scream to avoid a stupid Amish buggy with six people strolling along in the middle of the lane?
Are the complaints not balanced by coos of delight from composters swooping on free ordure?
I'm guessing there's sometimes more than horse manure on them there roads.
What is the difference between "manure" and "excrement"? Why don't humans flush "manure"? I need a deep thinker, please.
Originally posted by JigtieA recurring theme is apparent.
never really used
screw the helmet
was released from prison
phallic symbol
wide at the back, long and narrow at the front
I felt like I was "joyriding" another man
I've been jerking off a lot this morning
I jammed it between my leg and the saddle
After having done that a few times (yes, I'm that slow)
I started biking with m ...[text shortened]... ggling my butt back and forth on that stupid, idiotically designed #%&!!@$¤#""!#¤½!!
Are you sure you are old enough to be a member? 😕
Originally posted by SJ247I've been forced to swerve to avoid a scrap-metal dealer's horse-cart. The horse wanted me to hit it, I could see it in its eyes.
Have you ever been tearing down a curvy two-lane highway through the country, eyes a-wandering through the fields, pondering life and death, then suddenly making yourself and your brakes scream to avoid a stupid Amish buggy with six people strolling along in the middle of the lane?
I'm guessing there's sometimes more than [b]horse manure on them there r ...[text shortened]... ure" and "excrement"? Why don't humans flush "manure"? I need a deep thinker, please.[/b]
Manure vs. excrement? Merely an attitudinal distinction.
Perhaps conceiving of their faeces as manure will help a great many people to relax about their bowel movements. Then, once they've embraced the righteous organic possibilities of auto-fertilising their home-grown produce, they'll start eating right so they can poop righteous. The vegetables will otherwise be unwell. Just think, the Chinese have been doing it for millions of years.
Originally posted by Bosse de NageSo have the the Mexicans (well maybe not for Millions of years). Been following the news about fresh produce lately?
I've been forced to swerve to avoid a scrap-metal dealer's horse-cart. The horse wanted me to hit it, I could see it in its eyes.
Manure vs. excrement? Merely an attitudinal distinction.
Perhaps conceiving of their faeces as manure will help a great many people to relax about their bowel movements. Then, once they've embraced the righteous organ ...[text shortened]... will otherwise be unwell. Just think, the Chinese have been doing it for millions of years.
Originally posted by JigtieHomer Simpson also likes "football in the groin" jokes.
Nope. Not a cool bike with a motor on it. And not really brand new so
much as never really used. But today I was off work (finally) and the
weather was great so I decided to try out my brand new bike I bought
about a year ago. Said and done. On with lighter clothing, screw the
helmet and off I went; down the street like a was released from prison. I ...[text shortened]... bike to
bits! ðŸ˜
#%&!!@$¤#""!#¤½!!
Now, I have no brand new bike anymore. :'(
D
