I started teaching her a few strategies, traps, and basic tactics about three months ago, and now she's beaten me three times in the last 5 days, and we've played 6 games in that time. It hurts so bad, I'm half the man I used to be. If I can't beat her at chess, then what the hell is the point of our relationship? I like being dominated occasionally but this is absurd. It's chess! CHESS! The last bastion of my manhood has been torn from it's lofty delusional perch. My world is crumbling. Somebody wake me up from this nightmare! I must now buy more chess books. Many more! I will never have enough ever! More books! Books will make me good again! I will beat her with books!
Originally posted by hopscotchHey that reminds me.....It's your turn.
I started teaching her a few strategies, traps, and basic tactics about three months ago, and now she's beaten me three times in the last 5 days, and we've played 6 games in that time. It hurts so bad, I'm half the man I used to be. If I can't beat her at chess, then what the hell is the point of our relationship? I like being dominated occasionally bu ...[text shortened]... l never have enough ever! More books! Books will make me good again! I will beat her with books!
Nyxie😛
Originally posted by hopscotchI was expecting something much more interesting than a story about chess when I clicked on this thread.
I started teaching her a few strategies, traps, and basic tactics about three months ago, and now she's beaten me three times in the last 5 days, and we've played 6 games in that time. It hurts so bad, I'm half the man I used to be. If I can't beat her at chess, then what the hell is the point of our relationship? I like being dominated occasionally bu ...[text shortened]... l never have enough ever! More books! Books will make me good again! I will beat her with books!
Hopscotch, you are forgetting the rules you yourself have become a master at using!!
You are playing OTB chess and this is a mistake. You must immediately log her on to RHP and make her play you through the site. That way you can use the fundamentals of correspondence chess. I shall reiterate them for you master, though I'm sure you could not have forgotten them so quickly.
1) CAPS TRULY IS THE GREATEST
2) Talking crap while playing distracts your opponent
3) Talking crap while playing distracts your opponent
4) If you beat someone never ever let them challenge you to a rematch ever.
This will surely solve all relationship problems.
Originally posted by StarrmanSHE BEATS ME ON THE SITE AND SHE HAS BECOME IMMUNE TO MY (SIGNIFICANT) CRAP TALKING SKILLS! IT IS HORRIBLE!
Hopscotch, you are forgetting the rules you yourself have become a master at using!!
You are playing OTB chess and this is a mistake. You must immediately log her on to RHP and make her play you through the site. That way you can use the fundamentals of correspondence chess. I shall reiterate them for you master, though I'm sure you could not have ...[text shortened]... r let them challenge you to a rematch ever.
This will surely solve all relationship problems.
I've decided to invent a new game. It's called, How many books can you get off the top shelf? I will win every time. I'm the best.
Why don't you encourage her to develop new interests in an attempt to distract her from her mastery of chess? Say she likes plants, take her to a nursery and buy her lots of plants. I'll bet she spends the rest of the weekend planting them, which will buy you time to study more books.
Originally posted by stokerVery funny stroker.
is her name skeeter??
And underfelt, your advice is so terrible that I don't know where to begin in replying to you. You obviously don't know women at all. Women are mysterious creatures. She could say she likes plants, when she actually just means that she likes diamonds and that it's our anniversary and her best friend just received a diamond ring for her anniversary and that if I don't buy her a diamond ring then I don't love her as much as her best friend's boyfriend loves her best friend, and the plants are a just metaphor for our growing relationship and diamonds.
Originally posted by hopscotchI get it. It's because plants absorb carbon dioxide and diamonds are made from carbon. So what you do is buy her a big lump of pencil lead. That'll fix things.
Very funny stroker.
And underfelt, your advice is so terrible that I don't know where to begin in replying to you. You obviously don't know women at all. Women are mysterious creatures. She could say she likes plants, when she actually just means that she likes diamonds and that it's our anniversary and her best friend just received a diamond ring fo ...[text shortened]... s her best friend, and the plants are a just metaphor for our growing relationship and diamonds.
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Originally posted by hopscotchlol, I actually blew coffee out my nose.
Very funny stroker.
And underfelt, your advice is so terrible that I don't know where to begin in replying to you. You obviously don't know women at all. Women are mysterious creatures. She could say she likes plants, when she actually just means that she likes diamonds and that it's our anniversary and her best friend just received a diamond ring fo ...[text shortened]... s her best friend, and the plants are a just metaphor for our growing relationship and diamonds.
Lucky for me, my gf doesn't really care too much about diamonds. Her favorite "plants" are emeralds, pearls, sapphires, white gold...
You know how hard it is to find a GOOD emerald in a white gold setting? "MUST BE WHITE GOLD, I don't like regular yellow gold!"
thanks for the laugh..
--tmetzler
Originally posted by hopscotchTell her she is not allowed to play with you anymore until she subscribes.
I started teaching her a few strategies, traps, and basic tactics about three months ago, and now she's beaten me three times in the last 5 days, and we've played 6 games in that time. It hurts so bad, I'm half the man I used to be. If I can't beat her at chess, then what the hell is the point of our relationship? I like being dominated occasionally bu ...[text shortened]... l never have enough ever! More books! Books will make me good again! I will beat her with books!
That will teach her lol
Also show her this thread to show her how inadequate she is making you feel. Maybe she will let you win so you can regain some masculinity.
When it's your turn, every time you have to move a Bishop, stare at her and stroke the Bishop sensuously, up and down, up and down, up and down...this will rattle her and allow you to crush her.
Her Queen, the infernal symbol of amazonian femininity, will be the first to fall. I guarantee it.
Shoot. Bishops are kind of gay. They're Catholic and everything. Well, try caressing the Knights. Those are manly.