"Yn'gnl sh'g: D'phnegul k'tha dugh, ughl'nigu'ra ulfn'ahk y'ngwu Maghoor-N'kyah? F'nakhr ugh'r'yheh liung'ngu a'Phtak'lu, hfir'knia y'nu h'lyeahugha Oprah rg'ynh."
["Many ask: When will I rise again, to lay waste to all the pitiful creatures of Earth? I had been thinking about next Tuesday, but I'm booked on Oprah that day."]
- Cthuhlu, author of Who Moved My Slime-Trail of Ectoplasm?, The Slime-Trail of Ectoplasm Less Travelled, Understanding the Consumed: The Psychology of Soul Devouring, etc.
"[Cthulhu] helped me get a good deal on supplemental prescription drug insurance, even though I wasn't in the best of health. In fact, I had already died, and my rotting corpse was decomposing in a horrid miasma of filth and decay, and my soul cast into an everlasting torment of eternal darkness. But I was still able to save on my prescriptions at the local pharmacy!"
Mildred Kenton, Buffalo, New York
Originally posted by Natsia"I remember I wanted this set of toy soldiers for Christmas, right? And my mom wouldn't buy them for me, so I prayed to Cthulhu, and next day there they were! And even better, the toy soldiers were alive, and eating my mom's brain."
You really need to lay off the Lovecraft.
It's rotting your brain.
Gary Borkman, Lake Tapawingo, Missouri